LNH: Another LNH Title? Really? #5

[Drew Perron]

On Tuesday, April 12, 2016 at 9:57:56 PM UTC-4, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
>    Two paperclips loaded their baby paperclip into a rocketship.  As 
> the ship zoomed off, an entire planet filled with paperclips violently 
> exploded into nothingness.

OF COURSE!!!

>    "Oh, look, Jonathon!  It's a baby paperclip!"
>    "An alien paperclip, Martha!  Look, if it was an alien baby, or 
> puppy, or kitten, or cow, or alligator -- that would be different.  But 
> it's a freakin' paperclip.  I'm not dealing with this.  I'm just not!  
> This is the Feds problem now!"
>    "Oh, Jonathon," she said with a disappointed expression.

I mean, they *are* good at paperwork.

>    "Huh?" said the Fed turning his head.  And it was the last thing he 
> did as a bullet burst right into his head leaving a brain and blood 
> mural all over the room.

Ewwwww

>    The muscle bound green pony-tailed gunman with a cyborg eye by the 
> name of Born2Die Hardcore grabbed the paperclip.  "Come on!  We're 
> getting out of here.  We're finally free!  No, one's ever going to jail 
> us again!  No one!!"  And the two crashed out of the building's window 
> towards freedom.

Um. Okay. XD XD XD

>    Born2Die Hardcore looked at his blood splatter on his white shirt 
> that kept growing and growing.  And then he looked at the paperclip in 
> his hand.  "You -- you were the only thing that ever made any sense in 
> this crazy world.  This is it.  I'm sorry -- can't -- can't feel..."  
> And then Born2Die Hardcore went silent.  His eyes went dead.
>    "So, who was this guy?" said Fuzzy checking Born2Die Hardcore's 
> pulse.

...so did they kill him or? @-@ No, he probably tripped on his gunswords and stabbed himself.

>    Puts-Paperclips-on-the-Ultimate-Nina's-Desk Lad looked at the 
> paperclip in his hands and then at the Ultimate Ninja's desk.  "I'm 
> going to put you on this desk.  Oh, yes I am -- little paperclip!" he 
> said with a perverse grin on his face.

I just. I love the idea of someone who takes perverse glee in doing something not only harmless but basically unnoticeable. XD

>    "Oh, never mind.  It doesn't really matter.  Not really.  Just give 
> me that stupid paperclip."  And then the Ultimate Ninja used his 
> incredible ninja paperclip clipping powers to clip a couple of pieces 
> of paper together.

And those pieces of paper... were the Declaration of Independence. Thank you and good day.

Drew "fourth-hand references that even the person making them doesn't get!?" Perron