LNH: WikiLull (was LNH/META: Okay. Guess no Daily LNH Wiki Entry today...)

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Apr 20 10:26:52 PDT 2016

On Tuesday, April 12, 2016 at 11:19:21 AM UTC-4, Adrian J. McClure wrote:
> "Rrrrargh!" said Deathspork: The Terminator, flinging an exploding
> sporkarang straight at Brad Pitt's face.
> "Yikes!" said Brad Pitt.

TINNNG! The sporkarang was knocked off course, spinning around in the air and crashing to the ground. The explosion lit a silhouette from behind, the silhouette of the one who had knocked it out of the air. She stood, in skinny jeans and a leather jacket, holding a repeating crossbow with casual ease, a cigarette dangling from her lips.

"It can't be!" said Deathspork; the Terminator. "My old enemy-- KRISTEN STEWART!"

"Saving you *again*, Brad. That's, what, twenty-three pizzas you owe me?" Kristen Stewart rolled to a crouch, pointing the crossbow at Deathspork.

"Sorry, have we met?" said Amnesiac Brad Pitt, putting out his coat where sporkarang shrapnel had set it on fire. "Are you another member of the NTB? Because if you are, I'll have to call my agent and have him change my business cards so they read 'The Second-to-Last Trenchcoater'."

"Why couldn't it have been Always Has A Pizza Ready When You Want Pizza Brad Pitt?" Kristen sighed. "Look, I've had to explain myself to half a dozen of your quantum variants today, so I'll keep it short and sweet. I'm not NTB, I'm MTB - Magical Troublemaking Bastard. I stir shit up when it needs stirred, and I got the job when a terrible thing happened to me in a graveyard on the set of Twilight." She inclined her head toward Deathspork. "Specifically, a 'meet one lucky fan' event with *him*."

Deathspork snarled. "I won that contest fair and square! You'd think a *serious* actress would welcome strong criticism!"

"You used the words 'resting bitch face' three times and talked about how much better the version in the porn parody was!"

"I'm still not sure about this," said Amnesiac Brad Pitt. "Isn't using actual celebrities more of a Superguy thing?"

Kristen shrugged. "I'd be more worried about that if there had been any Superguy stories since Breaking Dawn Part 2 came out."

Hidden behind a bush, a figured rubbed his hands in gleeful anticipation. Deathspork had acted as the distraction he was always meant to be. Now, WikiCide would strike!

Decked out in an elegant butler's tuxedo, WikiCide stepped up to Amnesiac Brad Pitt. "Hold your coat, sir?"

"Oh, yes, thank you." Brad shrugged off the trenchcoat and handed it to him.

"AHA!" Everyone turned as WikiCide held the coat high in the air. From within its rumples and well-worn creases, darkness swelled, and the eerie high screech of ripping reality shivered through the air. "Now, with the eldritch power of the Last Trenchcoat, I can combine the Worlds' Addresses harvested from Google Groups with the robots.txt of the LNH Wiki - AND BEGIN A NEW ROBOT INVASION!"

Drew "this was inspired by a suggestion from Lalo" Perron

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