LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #10: LNH Triple Play 3
Drew Perron
pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Apr 20 01:40:27 PDT 2016
On 3/23/2016 9:30 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
> =====================
> LNH Triple Play #3: The Valentine's Ball
> =====================
Eeeeeeeeee! :3 Oh man, it's been too long
> {Cover is numerous couples dancing in formal attire with Ultimate Ninja and
> Ordinary Lady in the foreground. Innovative Offense Boy's head is off
> to one side with the thought balloon, "Enjoy your happiness, UN, while
> you can!"
>
> At bottom a blurb says "Ultimate Ninja as you've never seen him before!"}
Yesssss COVERS WITH SPEECH BUBBLES. You guys know how I love this.
> Ultimate Ninja glared around the LNH cafeteria. "This place has taken
> on the dynamics of a pre-prom high school," he muttered, disgusted.
Man, could you represent Oldschool Caught Up In Masculinity Fandom any harder >:/
> He had heard a lot lately
> about the democratic leadership Catalyst Lass had displayed during her brief
> tenure as leader. Many of the NWC's were grumbling about his aloofness. Maybe
> he should to go after all.
Yessss, use continuity for characterization
> On the way out, he spotted Super Apathy Lad slumped in the corner of
> the hall. The Offensive Avenger walked over. "How about you, ()@*#in' SAL?
> You going to the @#$^(@&@)$# Ball?"
> "Dunno. S'long way t'th' ballr'm," he said doubtfully.
> IOBoy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "True. We could #*@^^#in' program
> the transmat tube to *$@@(^!@#(! you there. Think you can make it to the *&^#@
> tube in a week and a half?"
> "M'bbe..."
Awwwwwww, that's nice
> Ultimate Ninja launched himself through the air in a perfect quadruple-
> axle. His outstretched sword carved Cannon Fodder, Nomex Man and Constellation
> into perfect 1" cubes.
Somehow I don't think that'd actually work on Constellation.
> Panta spun New-Look Lass around and around.
> "Wheee! This has got to be the best dress I ever saw! Is it really
> for me?"
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! <3 <3 <3 See, Playful Panta > Sexy And She Doesn't Know It
Panta.
> New-Look Lass smiled. "Oh I'm going stag with Hooded Ho`'od Win. She
> was thinking of not going, so I agreed to go as just girls."
Gal pals? :3
> "What, she can't dance?" Panta's eyes boggled when she realized what
> N-LL meant. "Ooops. I guess she's afraid noone will want her with the..."
> Panta only mouthed the last two words, "...fake leg?"
> N-LL nodded. "I tried to tell her there was nothing to worry about.
> I mean Obscure Trivia Lad has a whole fake body, but she's very self-conscious
> about it.
Awwwwww. :< PUNCH EM HOOD
> Anyway, we need some free women to dance with all the unaccompanied
> men." She winked to Panta who giggled uncontrollably.
No but seriously, it's a bit hilarious how aggressively straight the early days
were. That's the '90s, I guess~
> Somewhere in Net.Orleans, a red-white and blue clad man crumpled up
> Catalyst Lass' invitation. He went to throw it out, but stayed his arm. He
> cast a sad glance at a photograph of a translucent beauty framed with a dusty
> set of bolas. He finished the motion. The invitation rattled in the plastic
> trash can, then was still.
oooooooh. Nice. :D
> It was
> littered with cans, half-eaten pizzas and back issues of comic book swimsuit
> editions.
Did you know that Marvel did a bunch of "swimsuit specials" back in the '90s?
Fun stuff.
> IOBoy laughed. "&#^%@ Frat Boy. She means punch. And I guess you'll
> have to arrange some $*&^@#in' slurpees too..."
> "The punch I can handle," said Frat Boy smugly. He patted a hidden
> flask as he said it. But what's the deal with the slurpees?"
> "The boss ^$%@#@*&in' likes them."
Okay but: Milkshakes. Think about it.
> Ultimate Ninja took the plastic wrapped suit from his door. The Net.
> Ropolis Dry Cleaners must have delivered his formal Oriental robe already. He
> stripped the plastic away. His eyes narrowed. Instead of a neatly pressed
> formal robe, a white leisure suit, complete with black silk shirt and wide
> collars, was inside. A note was pinned to the lapel that read, "Saturday Ninja
> Fever."
> The tall ninja threw the 70's garb to the floor. As he unsheathed his
> Ginsu katana, he growled, "Incendiary..."
*CACKLES*
> Framed by the large picture window,
> the stage that would hold C.alt.C Music Factory (whom Kid G had gotten for the
> affair) against the Net.ropolis night skyline.
THE '90S
> "Hey! I got a question!" piped up Occultism Kid as he pointed to the
> ceiling. "I see the heart balloons and the cupid balloons, but what is that?"
> He indicated some round balloons joined together in a lattice by long thin
> balloons.
> Organic Lass spoke up. "Those are mine. That's the chemical structure
> of endorphins. What could be more Romatic than that?"
Heeheehee.
> "Geez, I'm sorry, PK. I shouldn't be acting this crazy. I know how
> you must feel with Bandwagon Chick going with Hamster Man and all..."
> "I know. IOBoy and me will just sit around in Cuckold's Corner..." he
> said bitterly.
Careful, Parking Karma Kid, or you'll fall into the clutches of the nefarious
Massive Rage Activator!
> <(Thank you, Cat. I look forward to an enjoyable evening. I think...)>
> "Excuse me Cat," said New-Look Lass. "I've got to get this girl to the
> punch bowl.
Awwwww, good wingfriend.
> Cheesecake-Eater Lad was apparantly preoccupied with his date, and greeted them
> as 'New-Lass Look' and 'Hooded Ho`'od Hood.'
D'awwwww
> A late arrival ran up to the ballroom entrance. She was slender
> and attractive in a feline way, and was putting on her spike heels as she ran
> up. "Wait, wait! I'm coming too!"
> "Who are you?" asked UN coldly.
> "Um, I'm Robot Girl, newest LNH member."
Hi Kat! <3
> Turning she saw that Panta and Kid G had just arrived, late. Several
> glasses dropped around the room as Panta made her entrance. The black lamee
> dress sported a bare midriff, low-cut neckline and short puffy skirt. It per-
> fectly matched her spots and made her fur seem luxuriant, especially the re-
> vealed creamy white fur of her breasts. She was licking an ice cream cone
> almost sinfully.
And like I was saying about Sexy And She Doesn't Know It Panta being a bit... `-`;
> A low growl escaped UN's lips. "Incendiaaaary!" In seeming slow
> motion, UN launched the Dr. Paprika-filled cup at Invisible Incendiary. The
> cup slowly rotated in the air, passing through the hologram of II. It conti-
> nued it's inevitable flight, splashing coldly all over the chest, neck, face
> and hair of Ordinary Lady.
> The hall went silent again. OL looked at UN, her eyes wide with hurt.
> Unnoticed, a muted flash briefly shone behind the ninja's chair. As the
> dripping OL and the rest of the Legion stared at their leader, UN did the
> unthinkable.
> He sat down, flipped his wrist and said, "Feh."
I think this is a surprisingly emotionally thoughtful moment, because what
really hurts isn't the drink, it's the apathy towards her being bothered by it.
I mean, hardly an advanced insight, but still a bit of focus that a lot of
Hollywood-y romance doesn't think about.
> Pocket Man held Organic Lass close, she snuggled to his chest. "What
> do you say sweetheart? I think maybe they've forgotten us at the hotel..."
> "Oh Pok, the night's so beautiful." They were dancing in front of the
> huge ballroom window with Net.Ropolis twinkling outside. "The city is spread
> out like it's ours. Let's just go to the roof and breathe the night."
> "Honey, I'll follow you anywhere, but it's a little cold."
> "I think we'll be plenty warm," she said as she hugged him tight. With
> a quick but passionate kiss they broke and walked hand in hand to the exit.
Awwwwwwww. ^.^
> Token Girl and Frat Boy eyed each other belligerently. Empty shot glasses littered
> the surface as well as the floor beneath them. Both downed yet another shot of
> the spiked punch. Frat Boy leaped up, spinning wildly. He grabbed Token Girl
> and planted a wet red kiss on her lips. "The winnah!" he slurred then passed
> out on the floor. His toga-clad body landed next to Sarcastic Lad, who had
> passed out hours ago trying to keep up.
> Token Girl smacked her lips, tried to straighten her dress (only dis-
> lodging it more), made a valiant attempt to focus her eyes, then she too hit
> the floor.
I dunno, there's something I just like about this bit. <3
> Innovative Offense Boy danced with Ordinary Lady, who had changed her
> dress. She hadn't wanted to return to the Ball, but she and IOBoy had spent
> hours talking in her room. She had nearly thrown him out when he confessed to
> arranging the whole thing -- taunting UN, pretending to be Invisible Incen-
> diary. Planting a fake note to Frat Boy, who he knew was a late sleeper, so he
> could arrange the doctored slurpee. Modifying Renegade Programmer's lighting
> scheme to include a bogus II hologram. But he had pleaded his case eloquently,
> if colorfully. The crowning fact, IOBoy dared not admit. That he had tele-
> ported Super Apathy Lad in by remote control, to insure UN's cold response.
This is fascinating - though man, I really wish we'd actually gotten to see that
scene, instead of having it summarized. Still, baby steps.
> Renegade Programmer visited the Computer Room before going to bed. He
> needed to shut off the lighting computer. On the way, he passed Super Apathy
> Lad in the Hall.
> "SAL? Didn't IOBoy arrange to have you transmatted to the Ball?"
> "Eh. Tr'nsm't tube too f'r away. C'dn't be b'thered."
And this is a neat little twist. <3 I really wish we had had the vocabulary at
the time to talk about Ultimate Ninja as aromantic - not just for
representational purposes, but as a lever to really explore this side of his
personality and dig deeper into his mindset.
Drew "up way too late" Perron
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