LNH/PRECOG: The First Page of a New Era!
arspitzer at earthlink.net
Tue Apr 12 18:35:57 PDT 2016
Okay. Here's another attempt at writing a story for this.
This one's probably too long too. :) But if you increase
the size limit to two pages, it will be just right. :)
'That time the Ultimate Ninja clipped some papers together with a paperclip'
Two paperclips loaded their baby paperclip into a rocketship. As the ship zoomed off, an entire planet filled with paperclips violently exploded into nothingness.
Two people, a man and his wife, glanced at the tiny little rocket ship scorched on the road. Inside it was a very small paperclip.
"Oh, look, Jonathon! It's a baby paperclip!"
"An alien paperclip, Martha! Look, if it was an alien baby, or puppy, or kitten, or cow, or alligator -- that would be different. But it's a freakin' paperclip. I'm not dealing with this. I'm just not! This is the Feds problem now!"
"Oh, Jonathon," she said with a disappointed expression.
"You're going to tell us. You're going to tell us everything. Sooner or Later," said the Fed as he stared with a very serious look at the paperclip sitting on a very tiny chair. "All your secrets. We will find them out!"
"No you won't."
"Huh?" said the Fed turning his head. And it was the last thing he did as a bullet burst right into his head leaving a brain and blood mural all over the room.
The muscle bound green pony-tailed gunman with a cyborg eye by the name of Born2Die Hardcore grabbed the paperclip. "Come on! We're getting out of here. We're finally free! No, one's ever going to jail us again! No one!!" And the two crashed out of the building's window towards freedom.
Born2Die Hardcore looked at his blood splatter on his white shirt that kept growing and growing. And then he looked at the paperclip in his hand. "You -- you were the only thing that ever made any sense in this crazy world. This is it. I'm sorry -- can't -- can't feel..." And then Born2Die Hardcore went silent. His eyes went dead.
"So, who was this guy?" said Fuzzy checking Born2Die Hardcore's pulse.
"Some supervillain called Born2Die Hardcore," said Puts-Paperclips-on-the-Ultimate-Nina's-Desk Lad. "Ooh, look! It's a paper clip!" And he quickly snatched it.
"Don't -- that's evidence!" Fuzzy started to say as he quickly ran off with the paperclip. "Oh, Jesus."
Puts-Paperclips-on-the-Ultimate-Nina's-Desk Lad looked at the paperclip in his hands and then at the Ultimate Ninja's desk. "I'm going to put you on this desk. Oh, yes I am -- little paperclip!" he said with a perverse grin on his face.
"Why?" said a voice emerging from shadows. The voice of the Ultimate Ninja. "Why do keep putting these damn paperclips on my desk? Why are you a member of the LNH? Why did any writer think it was a good idea to create you and put you in an LNH story?"
"Umm?" responded Puts-Paperclips-on-the-Ultimate-Nina's-Desk Lad.
"Oh, never mind. It doesn't really matter. Not really. Just give me that stupid paperclip." And then the Ultimate Ninja used his incredible ninja paperclip clipping powers to clip a couple of pieces of paper together.
Arthur "Too Long..?" Spitzer
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