LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #6: Looniverse Adrift! Part One

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu Apr 7 21:33:53 PDT 2016

On 2/23/2016 9:23 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
> https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/
> we have the First Part of Ken Schmidt's and Joltin' Jeff McCoskey's
> Looniverse Adrift Crossover, which ran in LNH Comic Presents and
> LNH Triple Play.

A fascinating story, I must say! Definitely one of the classics.

> 	It is an area between the place where the world is considered real and
> the place they think is a creation of their keystokes,

That describes much of my life, honestly.

> 	"Dispense with the facade of pleasantries," said the figure veiled in
> shadows, the light emanating from the tip of his staff was devoured by the
> shadows hiding his identity.  "Your motives for requesting my presence are
> unclear at this point, but by veiling them you have aroused my suspicions."
> 	"You may also dispense with your grandiose verbal patterns.  You are
> not among mortals who might find it imposing."

Oh snap.

> 	"Nothing.  W...I want your assurances that you will not interfere
> with my plans, perhaps you could even be persuaded to assist.  You were,
> at one time, a productive student.  How much more could you have accomplished
> had this and other...distractions...not ate into your valuable time.

Ohhhhh don't *ever* say that to someone who's wasting time on the Internet.

> 	"Dot, was that *really* him and not some sort of fake?"
> 	++Well, I'm not sure.  It smelled like him, and it 'looked' like him,
> but it didn't quite sound like him, you know, the mindvoice was...off.  Like
> a recording or something.++

I really enjoy all the abstract sensory stuff Dave uses. It tickles the blue 
dangly bits of my intellect.

> 	A mortal and his machine.  The contact was lost, but Master Workload
> had learned enough.  The thought of his plans being thwarted by a silly mortal
> and his pathetic science was almost too much for Master Workload to bear.

I love the push-and-pull between different levels and types of villainy in this 

> 	Multi-Tasking Man checked the trouble sensor readouts again.  'That's
> funny, there is only one contact, but there are three people on the video
> cameras.'  Multi-Tasking Man's mind quickly formed many questions, but
> they remained unanswered when the trouble sensors picked up a new contact
> right behind hi-


> 	"Did he say Tsar Chasm?  Did he say Tsar Chasm?  It's PAYBACK time..."
> the rest was lost as Sarc flew down the stairs.

I always forget he uses an LSH-style flight ring. Interestingly, that's what 
"flight.thingee" originally referred to, before it started being used for flying 

> 	Ultimate Ninja's body was in motion, opening the window and slipping
> his body through it.  He tensed and aimed at himself at Tsar Chasm, without
> him, the Webs would be next to useless...so he hoped.


<reaction image from Cinderella III.gif>

> 	Sig.Lad was showing Particle Man the e-mail message from Constellation
> in his room.  Sig.Lad was among the slowed down, but he ignored it as best
> he could.  "This is odd.  Why would the Stranger want Constellation, but not
> the two of us?"


> 	Irony Man was about to follow Sarc into the HQ when he realized that
> Ultimate Ninja wasn't moving anymore.  "GUYS!  Come back!  I think Ultimate
> Ninja is DEAD!"

GASP! Has the Shinobi of Surly Safekeeping sincerely spanned the Sanzu? Will 
Irony Man rise to the role of leader and point a new direction for the LNH in 1994!?

> 	Sig.Lad recognized the figure,"TSAR CHASM!"

We're really seeing a lot of his evolution over these reposts. <3

>          "Who's dead, Irony Man?" asked Sarcastic Lad.
>          "Uhm . . .this, dead guy right here . . . whoever he is."
>          "But I Believe he's Breathing!  alBeit Badly . . ."


>          Meanwhile, inside the LNHHQ, Captain Cleanup hustled towards the exit,
> only to trip up on an unseen object.  "Oof.  What in the . . ."  To the
> Sanitary Samaritan's amazement the corridor was entirely empty.  To his even
> greater amazement, he noticed his boots were ablaze.

I quite like this bit, tho.

>          Censor Girl's eyes flared open.  The refrain of "destroytheLNHdestroy
> theLNHdestroy . . ." that had made her recent days so pleasant had subtly
> altered.

I'm still not sure where Censor Girl originally showed up.

>       Still, that loss yet soured his sleepless dreams.  He may be immortal, but
> his foes were not.  And the vengeance of simply outliving an enemy is a pallid
> one indeed.

Oh my god you whiny nerd.

> An energy that was best described as a psychic wave, a psynami

If by "best" you mean "in the most 90s way" then yes <3

>          As Deductive Logic Man, Jones could see subtle yet unmistakeable signs
> of dual occupancy in his stately English Manor.  Not the least of which were
> the musical selection and the dark-clad body slumped over the stereo.  Yet he
> clearly remembered living alone.  In his inimitable way, Deductive Logic Man
> put two and two together and concluded . . .
>          "What has the LNH done now?"


>          "Thank you, Brother Napalm. I know that device is distasteful to you."
>          "Not at all, Brother Nomex.  We could hardly allow your invisible
> burden to enflame the LNNHQ, could we?"

These two are more "has a gimmick but has interestingly weird aspects that go 
beyond the gimmick" characters, much like Hooded Ho`'od Win.

>          "Certainly not, Brother Napalm."
>          The pair made to enter the Med-Lab.  From the shadows, the pair were un-
> wittingly under observation.  <( I wonder . . . )> came a hushed voice.

Speaking of

> The lab's bed space had proven ill-equipped to
> handle the rash of mysterious comatose bodies that infested the LNHHQ, especially
> after the addition of a dark bird-woman with a twelve foot wingspan.

I've never really understood the Whole Thing With Vulcana.

> As most of you know, comatose bodies in
> strange costumes  . . . "  Dr. Stomper surveyed his audience, which included
> New-Look Lass.  "That is to say, _unfamiliar_ costumes


> I mean, Bad Timing Boy's manning the Trouble Alert, so we'll know
> if anything evil or bad or something happens . . ."

Cat. CAT.

>          What little of humanity that remained in the cyborg had the eagerness
> of a child.  How pleased Killfile would be when he saw how well she carried out
> his plans!  Maybe afterward he wouldn't go away again, but reprogram her for
> _another_ task, then another . . .  Censor Girl couldn't contain her excitment
> as she overlooked Tsar Chasm's lair.

See, this is wonderfully creepy and I really want to know more.

> There was no need to expend energy locating the
> -s mode "testonly" -s vu "on" -s dis "-dis" -s ucode "-ucode"Wave Inhibitor in
> he technological maze.

See, I don't *think* this was intentional, yet...

>          An eddy in the psynami that washed over the Looniverse, and submerged
> Killfile's will, touched Master Workload.  In the next instant, a foreign
> consciousness plunged into Workload's psychic pool.  Dr. Killfile's body arched
> back as all his muscles contracted at once.  The new arrival mentally made his
> presence felt in two words.
>          "Who _dares_ ...?" hissed Lord Ebon.

Seriously, this is three super-high-level supervillains in one. @.@

>     "Less. A lot less. You, Aeneas Romulus Boddy, are fictional." The ninja
> floats back as Aeneas absorbs the thought.
>     Aeneas is silent for a moment. "Uh huh," he says incredulously.
>     "I'll prove it," Ultimate Ninja offers. "You are immortal. You've made
> intelligent cockroaches, one of which attacked me. If I ever find out, I'll
> probably kill you three or four times.


>     "That's supposed to be my writer?" Aeneas asks, pointing shakily.
>     "You're like his alter ego. See that gray hat? It's just like yours,"
> Ultimate Ninja explains.
>     Aeneas stares, his jaw hanging. After a minute of motionless silence, his
> mouth closes. The ninja slowly backs away. Aeneas gulps visibly, then speaks.
> "Kill me! Kill me now! Somebody please kill me! End it now, please!
> Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!"

XD XD XD I love it

Drew "making fun of your writer is great, I do it all the time" Perron

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