REPOST: RAC Challenge! #6

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Wed Sep 9 10:13:20 PDT 2015


Chapter by Scott Cederlund..

From: franke at ucs.indiana.edu (Jerry L Franke)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: REPOST:RAC Challenge! Ch. 6
Date: 6 Nov 1995 17:35:24 GMT

Continuing the rec.arts.comics Challenge! retrospective, leading up to the
yet-to-be-seen grand finale...

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                                 RAC CHALLENGE
                                       
Chapter 6: Two Question Marks and an Apostrophe

  OR PICNIC OF THE DAMNED
  
   by Scott Cederlund
   title by Aaron Levitz
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   I sit at my word processor and remember my injured pride. Paragon
   would not grovel, would not bow to my ultimate power over him. Now, I
   must show him pain. I must show him the power I possess over his
   destiny. From this chapter on, nothing you know of Paragon will be the
   same. I shall make him grim and gritty. He shall beg me for sweet
   release.
   
   "The Collective??' She destroyed the collective!!!" Paragon howled to
   the world (even though Malevo was the only one close enough to hear
   him).
   
   "Yes, Mary Lu has destroyed the collective. I feel their deaths, a
   thousand souls screaming out in agony," Malevo said.
   
   Paragon looked up. "But there were only three in the collective," he
   reminded the villain.
   
   "Three souls screaming out in agony!" corrected Malevo. "But, join me.
   We can use the Jas Rswert to bring revenge on her. You possess my
   precious bauble, but only I have the knowledge to use it."
   
   Paragon pulled the Jas Rswert out of his pocket. "You mean this little
   thing. What were you going to do with it?"
   
   "Oh, my dim-witted ally. All I have to do is point the Jas Rswert at
   Mary Lu, say "bubbacalo simbioliolious", dance in a circle three
   times, and then wink at her and she shall be sent to the domain of the
   damned.
   
   "You mean like this," Paragon said, pointing the device at Malevo.
   "Bubbacalo simbioliolious."
   
   "Yeah just like that so far," Malevo said.
   
   Paragon then danced in a circle 3 times and winked at Malevo.
   
   "Pretty good" the bad guy said as he disappeared in a puff of
   sulfurous smoke.
   
   "Now, with him gone and the Jas Rswert in my possession, I can find
   Mary Lu and set the world right!" With that, Paragon leapt into the
   air to search for the Ultimate Woman.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   After a desperate search, Paragon found Mary Lu shopping on Main
   Street. Not being one to use the element of surprise, Paragon loudly
   announced his entrance.
   
   "Mary Lu! The Ultimate Woman! I should have known... isn't that
   Malevo's arm. That's gross."
   
   "Dirk Darringer. Paragon. So, you have finally come to meet your fate.
   Look what I have." She held up a small rubber-looking ball.
   
   " A super-ball. Why, I used to have one of those when I was a kid. But
   enough nostalgia, with the combined power of the Jas Rswert and the
   Ultimate Marble," Paragon's hand reached for his neck where the UM
   usually was. "... with the Ultimate Marble," he checked his pockets.
   "Wait, that superball, that's my Ultimate Marble."
   
   "Oh, he finally notices he's lost one of the most powerful marbles in
   the world. No wonder the collective picked me to replace you. I could
   have hit you over the head with two question marks and an apostrophe
   before you would have realized that."
   
   Paragon was stunned. "But how could you have gotten it?"
   
   "Sorry Dirk, I'm 'fraid it was us," apologized Tito as Tina paid for
   the Ultimate Cab. "We took the Marble to Dr. Flager, but she killed
   him for it."
   
   "But you're dead. I killed you both," Mary Lu cried seeing the
   Ultimate Twins.
   
   "Do you really think we'd put ourselves in any real danger? Get real.
   What you killed were our Ultimate Life Model Decoys. With them, we get
   to have the ultimate fun without the ultimate danger," Tina retorted.
   
   "Ah, kids today," sighed Mary Lu.
   
   "Never mind that now kids, for I have the Jas Rswert, and I shall
   banish her for destroying the Collective, the one thing which I truly
   belonged to."
   
   "But aren't you going to ask why I did it?" Mary Lu asked.
   
   Paragon pointed the Jas Rswert at her.
   
   "All I wanted was a family," she continued.
   
   "Bubbacalo"
   
   "Yours and mine." she pleaded.
   
   "Simbioliolious"
   
   "Our life and our kids."
   
   Paragon danced in a circle three times.
   
   Mary Lu finished saying, "Dirk, Mary Lu, Tito and Tina" as Paragon
   winked at her. She vanished in a puff of sulfurous smoke.
   
   "Dad?" said Tina.
   
   "Dad!" said Tito.
   
   "Dad?" whispered Paragon.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   One moment , Paragon was winking at her. The next, she's sitting in a
   picnic basket with fire raging all around her.
   
   "You're wrong, Adolf. The Chargers should have beaten the 49'ers,"
   Malevo argued as he ate some chicken.
   
   "All I haf to say is Stefe Young," came a thick German voice. "Nero,
   what do you think?" Hitler asked digging into some potato salad.
   
   "Say what you want. I don't really follow this football. I hope that
   the Rangers can repeat this season," Nero said reaching for the finger
   sandwiches. "Blobbo, these are delicious."
   
   "Thank you," said Aaron Levitz.
   
   "Oh, no. I've landed in a picnic of the damned!!!!" cried Mary Lu.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   I have done my part in this story. I have had my revenge on Paragon.
   Now, the next writer must continue, in a story called:
     * Next issue: Chapter 7: I Lost My Spleen in Sausalito by Augie De
       Blieck Jr.
       
   
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   I'm sorry to all you purists out there. I just couldn't let Tito and
   Tina stay dead. You see, since this whole thing started, I just knew
   that there was some deeper connection between the Ultimate Twins and
   Paragon. And now, I've had my chance to explore that connection. It's
   Augie's turn to churn out a story.
   
   Also, to Aaron Levitz--I didn't mean to imply anything about your
   salvation or damnation. Just some friendly revenge at the end for
   plopping me into the story.
   
   
    Scott Cederlund


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--

Jerry L. Franke                        franke at cs.indiana.edu
Computer Science Dept.                 Indiana University
formerly from Florida State University http://www.cs.fsu.edu/~franke




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