REPOST: RAC Challenge! #13
pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Nov 18 22:18:54 PST 2015
On 10/27/2015 10:52 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> It had been a moment that, had it been observed by anyone else, would
> have left cosmologists babbling and theologians openly weeping.
> Perhaps thankfully, it was not observed by anyone but a select few.
This is a good opening.
> Those select few were not particularly delighted at having been so
> In fact, Dirk would have been delighted for just a little bit more
> divine intervention at that moment. There was an awful lot of ceiling
> on its way toward him, in strict accordance with the laws of gravity.
> And for perhaps the first time in his life, Dirk wanted to willingly
> break a law.
Amazing. <3 <3 <3
> In the split second before the ceiling hit, Mary Lu didn't even have
> time to register the fact that Dirk was in a place he hadn't been for
> a very long time.
> Dirk stood up behind her. No grapefruit, no potato salad... but there
> was one weakness she had that needed no external help. Never mind that
> it was neither a dignified way to beat an opponent, nor something that
> anyone should ever do to a lady.
> He remembered that she was very, very ticklish.
Pfffft. XD That's good, I like that - no cheating, clever and funny.
> Viewpoint: High Above
> Two people and a lot of rubble. The rubble is largely motionless; the
> two people are both moving in the same direction toward a tiny object
> glinting brightly in the daylight filtering in through the gaping
> wound in the ceiling.
Aaaaaa that's good
> Viewpoint: Sidelong
> Two people racing to the same objective.
> Two people who don't know that they're also racing physics.
> And physics rarely loses.
This is strong narration! I'm impressed.
> In any case, it does not speak well for the concept of "ultimate"
> when, a split second later, The Ultimate Marble is shattered into dust
> by the aforementioned block of concrete.
DUN DUN DUNNNNN.
> Mary Lu Retina didn't remember when, exactly, she started running, but
> she ran for a very long time. Past the local Kwikie-Mart, where she'd
> have to go to apply for her old job back. Past the theater advertising
> the director's cut of "A Thousand Deaths". Past the city limits, even.
> And she kept on running, even though she knew she'd have to come back
Yeah, a well-put-together chapter, even if a bit '90s-y.
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, gotta catch up...
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