REPOST: RAC Challenge! #13

Drew Perron pwerdna at
Wed Nov 18 22:18:54 PST 2015

On 10/27/2015 10:52 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
>     It had been a moment that, had it been observed by anyone else, would
>     have left cosmologists babbling and theologians openly weeping.
 >     Perhaps thankfully, it was not observed by anyone but a select few.

This is a good opening.

>     Those select few were not particularly delighted at having been so
>     honored.
>     In fact, Dirk would have been delighted for just a little bit more
>     divine intervention at that moment. There was an awful lot of ceiling
>     on its way toward him, in strict accordance with the laws of gravity.
>     And for perhaps the first time in his life, Dirk wanted to willingly
>     break a law.

Amazing. <3 <3 <3

>     In the split second before the ceiling hit, Mary Lu didn't even have
>     time to register the fact that Dirk was in a place he hadn't been for
>     a very long time.


>     Dirk stood up behind her. No grapefruit, no potato salad... but there
>     was one weakness she had that needed no external help. Never mind that
>     it was neither a dignified way to beat an opponent, nor something that
>     anyone should ever do to a lady.
>     He remembered that she was very, very ticklish.

Pfffft. XD That's good, I like that - no cheating, clever and funny.

>      Viewpoint: High Above
>     Two people and a lot of rubble. The rubble is largely motionless; the
>     two people are both moving in the same direction toward a tiny object
>     glinting brightly in the daylight filtering in through the gaping
>     wound in the ceiling.

Aaaaaa that's good

>      Viewpoint: Sidelong
>     Two people racing to the same objective.
>     Two people who don't know that they're also racing physics.
>     And physics rarely loses.

This is strong narration! I'm impressed.

>     In any case, it does not speak well for the concept of "ultimate"
>     when, a split second later, The Ultimate Marble is shattered into dust
>     by the aforementioned block of concrete.


>     Mary Lu Retina didn't remember when, exactly, she started running, but
>     she ran for a very long time. Past the local Kwikie-Mart, where she'd
>     have to go to apply for her old job back. Past the theater advertising
>     the director's cut of "A Thousand Deaths". Past the city limits, even.
>     And she kept on running, even though she knew she'd have to come back
>     eventually.

Yeah, a well-put-together chapter, even if a bit '90s-y.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, gotta catch up...

More information about the racc mailing list