LNH/LNH20: Trux and Spite Grrrl Are Dead! #1

[Andrew Perron]

On Thursday, May 21, 2015 at 10:41:22 AM UTC-4, Michael D Friedman wrote:
> LNH/LNH20 presents...
> 
> ====================================================================
> 
> TRUX AND SPITE GRRL ARE DEAD! (#1)

WOO YEAH

> "Hey, do you want to play checkers again?" asked Trux, the anthropomorphic
> stuffed toy raccoon and loose rip-off of Rocket Racoon.

How relevant!

> "I'm sick of checkers," replied Spite Grrrl, the nigh-invulnerable woman and
> loose rip-off of Tank Girl.

How awesome! You know, I was looking up stuff for the wiki the other day, and just thinking about how many awesome punk girls we had back in the day. Spite Grrrl, Jynx from Kid Kiwi's Kommandoes, Wyrd from Unlikely Aliens... It's an aesthetic I really appreciate.

> Time changes things, and a poorly-plotted series of stories about a girl that
> yells a lot and her talking stuffed animal wasn't high on his list of things
> to finish. And so, there they sat in nothingness... stories unended, plots
> unresolved.

How relevant to current cascades. <3

> "Carlos," he yelled. "Bring me... THE EXECUTIVE SUMMARY!"
> 
> "Right away sir," screamed Carlos, a man dressed in work clothes that were literally on fire.

Man, I knew business dress codes were bullshit, but...

> The three-headed beast applied his reading glasses

Heeheehee

> "It is time for Reboot/Relaunch/Sequel to RISE!"

YES.

> "It's probably just gas," said Trux. "What did you eat this morning?"
> 
> "Trux, we've been in purgatory for 13 years. I've eaten nothing!"

Heeheehee

> Suddenly, the two saw it. It looked like a rip in the nothingness. Color
> seemed to burst forth from the rip like a unicorn puking rainbows.
> 
> "Holy crap," was all that Spite Grrrl could say. She then tried to touch the
> color...

Oddly enough, also very relevant to current cascades!

> 2015. NETROPOLIS:
> 
> Alexis Parsons, a typical 16-year-old girl, sat alone in her Mom's one
> bedroom apartment watching cartoons based on the LNH's adventures.

Licensing! <3

> She wished she could be one of them. Instead, she was Alexis Parsons, a
> self-proclaimed "geeky nerd" that nobody ever seemed to notice in school. She
> tended to blend into the background, never trying to get too involved in
> anything or with anybody. 

Hmmmmmm, yes.

> "Should we get some food?" Alexis asked Trux, holding the stuffed animal up
> to her face.
> 
> There was no audible response, but Alexis said "Okay," anyway and got up from
> the couch, holding Trux by the paw.

She's super-adorable, but doesn't really act like a sixteen-year-old. Which, mind you, isn't necessarily a bad thing - that could be an explicit part of her characterization.

> Meanwhile, a man dressed in a pig costume ran down the street.
> 
> His name was Damian, and was supposed to be handing out flyers for The Happy
> Pig, a new barbecue restaurant opening about seven blocks away.

Hah! Nice callback. <3

> Don't ask why Damian stole this canister. He just did. He was a nobody, a
> common street thug who was relegated to wearing a pig costume and spinning
> signs for money. He saw his opportunity and took it. The canister had to be
> worth a lot of money. After all, the men making the exchange in the park next
> to him had large briefcases filled with bills. 

Oooooh, nice. Desperation is entirely relatable.

> "Get the bear!" yelled the other man, noticing Trux in Alexis's backpack.
> 
> "He's a raccoon, you idiot!" yelled Alexis as she tried to fight him off. 
> 
> The man had grabbed Trux and held up the raccoon by it's head. He pointed a
> gun at his head.
> 
> "Talk, or the bear gets it!"

What. o.o That's... an interesting interrogation technique, but I suppose they do live in Netropolis.

> He pulled the trigger, and Alexis was shot in the heart. She fell to the 
> ground, dead, right next to her best friend in the world, a headless, stuffed
> toy raccoon.

I'm imagining it in a very Frank Miller tableaux.
 
> At this point, Damian decided to run from his hiding place. But the other
> suited man saw him make his break, and shot at him. Damian, grabbed his knee
> in pain and fell to the ground, dropping the canister. It cracked as it hit
> the ground, and the mist started to escape.

It's all Ninja Turtles! (Or maybe more Milestone.)

> "What's all the racket?" she yelled into the dark alley.
> 
> "Nothing," said Alexis, who suddenly was not dead. In fact, she showed no
> wounds at all. 

Well that was quick!

> "Trux?" she cried, aloud.
> 
> "Yeah, girl? What's up?" came a voice, soon followed by a stuffed toy
> raccoon, walking into the light. "You okay?"

Very appropriate use of the two settings. <3 But I wonder where this is going next - that ending certainly doesn't seem one-shot-ish.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, adding it to the Latest Stories page on the wiki.