TOF: The Truth About Fiction #2

[Andrew Perron]

On 5/14/2015 5:11 PM, Michael D Friedman wrote:
<snip>
 > That night, R. Joseph Allen, my grandfather, "officially" discovered the
 > first alien life form on our planet. Or so he says. Most people prefer to
 > think he imagined it, or worse, made it up. But Joe insisted to his dying
 > day (which I guess is today) that it was true.

Hmmmm, I think I see.

 > Over the years, the shanties turned into actual buildings. Restaurants and
 > businesses started to pop up. A town was born, and the citizens asked Joe
 > to lead them. The first order of business was naming the town. Joe decided
 > to name it Fiction, Nevada, as one last  "screw you" to the elitist
 > Hollywood snobs that made him an outcast.'

Ahhhhhhh - I think we have title. Fascinating.

>"Dude!" yells my roommate, Bubba. He looks exactly like what you'd expect,
 > if you were expecting him to be a five-foot tall Asian kid with a sideways
 > baseball cap and adorned in hip-hop gear.

Heh heh. Very good.

 > Reggie hits the spacebar and the video resumes playing: "Chlorophyll. C-H-O-
 > R-uh...I-R...uh...X-Z-Q."

>My 12-year-old self looks like he's about to spew Spaghetti-O's all over
 > the camera. A bell rings, confirming what I already knew at the time, I was
 > eliminated. My next words are bleeped out and my eyes roll back in my head.
 > The kid-me falls straight backward as the announcer can only muster an "Oh
 > my!"
 >
 > Bubba's friends howl in laughter, and I can't take it any longer. I snap
 > the laptop out of Reggie's hands and yell, "Get out! Now!"
>
 > I point to the door. The group all just kind of sit there staring at me as
 > if they were deer in my headlights. We have been roommates for about nine
 > months and Bubba has never seen this look on my face before.

I find it fascinating that they were somehow surprised by this reaction. 
Like... the *best* reaction I could think of to "Oh hey, a video of a huge 
childhood failure! Let's laugh uproariously at the humiliated child!" is 
rolling eyes and "Dude, not funny."

 > The card is black with only an address printed in small white lettering. It
 > reads "187 S. La Brea, Los Angeles, California"
>
> "Did you read it?" asks the chauffeur.
>
> "Yeah, I--"
>
> He cuts me off by stuffing the black card back in his interior coat pocket.
>
> "Be there at precisely 8 p.m.," he says. He turns to leave.

That is a terrible courier.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, srsly.