MISC: The Girl Who Saved the World, Part 14

[George Phillies]

execution, following which her still-beating heart will be offered up to 
Witchywolves.*

“Finally, the First Speaker, the Living Sun, is most emphatic that the 
Namestone must be recovered as soon as possible and used to bring Heaven 
to Earth. Accordingly, the First Speaker has ordered that the Jaguar 
Knights be immediately ready to attack the Bearer, no matter where on 
earth she is found. The Jaguar Knights are well-equipped with 
teleporters and high power combatants, so there can be no doubt that the 
Bearer will be overwhelmed by their attack. We are in complete agreement 
with Supreme German Warlord that while there is a possibility of 
incidental or collateral damage, that such damage must be recognized as 
a heroic sacrifice on the part of those suffering the damage, for which 
of course they do not need to be compensated. In saying this, we do not 
deny the privilege of the ruler of any of the Great Powers and the other 
powers to reward his citizens for any damage they may have suffered 
while being associated with the heroic act of capturing the Namestone.” 
Buncombe noted that several of his fellow ambassadors were looking 
significantly askance at the remarks of the Speaker for the First 
Speaker. The Speaking Stone was passed to the next ambassador.

Grand Vizier Sulieman Pasha looked around the room. “The Emperor of the 
Ottomans, Defender of the Faithful, Protector of the Three Holy Places, 
may his piety and virtue redound to the heavens, has taken note of the 
failure of the League Strike Team to procure the Namestone. On one hand, 
it is entirely sad that there was no capture. On the other hand, the 
Emperor, may his wisdom increase forever, recalls that this body 
discussed at great length on a regular basis the protocols to be used if 
someone other than us managed to thread the Maze and recover the 
Namestone. His Imperial Wisdom believes that the League Strike Team did 
in fact execute the plan that was applicable. The Leaders of the Corps 
of Janissaries have advised the Emperor: It is unfortunate that the 
agreed-upon plan was not successful, but that is the nature of plans. 
They do not always work.The Emperor therefore does not believe that it 
would be particularly appropriate at this time to transfer command of 
the League Strike Team from its current command staff to the Commandery 
of the Worshipful Hosts of the Pious and Faithful, as the Ambassador of 
the German Warlord has so wisely suggested. In particular, there might 
be some confusion arising from the issue that the League Team includes 
both men and women, the women not serving as camp followers, contrary to 
any reasonable arrangement within a military force.” Buncombe noted that 
the women in the room were all striving not to break out into laughter. 
  Fortunately, he considered, they had heard this line before from the 
usual Ottoman Ambassador.  “Also, in all our planning we made no plan 
that allowed for the possibility that a Lord of Eternity would be 
present or would seek to intervene in the recovery of the Holy 
Namestone, so the plans were less than complete.

*Readers curious as to the reference should consult, iirc, Salvador de 
Madariaga, "Hernando Cortez".