RACCIES: 2014 (21st Annual) RACCies Ceremony (3/3)

[Scott Eiler]

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                            PART 3 OF 3!
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Vester Lockram yelled, "Brass Team Alpha Update!  Floy!  Where's Ress??"

"Cornered!  Swarms of heroes around her!  Quasha's broken off to defend 
her!  Exie!  You ready?"

"Engaging now...  Hug armor activated!"

Vester and Floy said blankly together, "'Hug armor'??"

"Well, yeah!  That's what Alpha and Ransom gave me for this mission!"

Exie Gudrun's electronic suit emitted a fuzzy pink force field in the 
shape of her body, lifting her off the floor.  As she walked toward the 
center of the confrontation, dumbfounded heroes and warriors stood aside.

"Yes!!"  Back in headquarters, Alpha Brown and Ransom Speculoos 
high-fived each other.  "Theta radiation output working!"

"Don't get too cocky," Vester cautioned.  "It still has to work on the 
people who started the fight."

At the center of the melee, Quasha had been crossing swords with Zenobia 
while Ress desperately dodged the Alien Beast.  They all came to a 
standstill, as the big pink fuzzy powered armor approached Ress.

Exie spread her big fuzzy arms wide.

A tear came to one of Ress's eyes.  She rushed to Exie's embrace.

Zenobia smiled, sheathed her sword, and said to Quasha, "I believe this 
fight is over."

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

The heavy metal emcee Gjallar Johanssen came back on stage and said, 
"Awww, action and cuteness all in one ceremony!  That's RACCies for you! 
  Am I right?"  The audience cheered.

He continued, "Now I hear you love your Writers - but it's all about 
what they write!  Am I right?"  The audience cheered.  "These are 
*those* awards!  First, RACC2, FAVORITE ONGOING SERIES!  This one's 
presented by...  Hot Damn!  Salsa the Kinky Roommate and her Fapmaster 
Fapatron Fap-Thousand!  Lemme know if you ever need a real man, babe!"

The monitor flashed "ACRA".  A woman in lingerie came on stage, dragging 
a giant dildo with industrial-strength electric cables.  "Uh, are you 
sure I'm even part of this group?"

"You got *my* permission, babe!  Go for it!"

"Okay...  You said, Oncoming Series?"

"OnGOING Series, babe!"

"Aww, I was getting *so excited*.  But anyway..."  Salsa opened the 
envelope.  "Oooh, it's a Mighty Medley!  That's a euphemism for 
something, right?"

Gjallar snickered.  "You could say that... and these fine ladies will 
show you what it is!"

The monitor said, "RACC2, FAVORITE ONGOING SERIES:  Mighty Medley! 
Award accepted by Darkhorse, Joan Smith, and Bastet!"  A superheroine, a 
female angel, and a cat-goddess walked on stage.

Salsa said, "Oooh!  I'm sorry, ladies, but there's only one award! 
We'll have to decide which one of you gets to, heh heh, hold it!  I know 
a game we could play..."

Bastet said, "No need.  We have protocols for this."  The three each put 
a hand on the award.  It became three awards!  The cat-goddess 
continued, "And there's one in here for everyone who contributed to the 
series!  We'd like to thank them all!"

As the three walked off stage, Salsa said, "Oh, poo."

(Salsa the Kinky Roommate brought to you by 
http://www.justwannadopornwebcomics.com/. )

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

"Next, RACC3, FAVORITE MINI-SERIES!  Presented by the Guardian of 
Paragon City!  Dude!"  A large white-bearded man in caped tunic walked 
on stage, with a battle staff.  "What's your name?"

"My name is meaningless outside our City.  There were *many* of us, of 
many names and species.  I remain only in memory of those who observed us."

"Oh, bummer about that...  Can you help *us* out today at least?"

"Indeed.  I come here to observe your finest *short* sagas.  I believe 
you call them Mini-Series."

"Yeah, that's it.  So, what *are* the finest?"

The Guardian opened an envelope.  "You have runners-up, including one 
Cascade.  But forever shall I respect your dead:  one Trophy Wife, and 
one Red Hart!"

The monitor said, "RACC3, FAVORITE MINI-SERIES:  The Red Hart! 
RUNNERS-UP:  Death of Trophy Wife, and Just Another Cascade!  Accepted 
by the Red Hart, Trophy Wife, and Irony Monger!"

The Red Hart went to the stage and said, "I thank you, for what little 
it will do."

Behind him, Trophy Wife stated demurely, "I'm sure my new friend doesn't 
mean to dismiss this fine award.  It's just that when we face Death, 
things are different for us."

Irony Monger said, "Indeed.  My own Legion faces oblivion...  But thanks!"

The Guardian said, "I face that now also."

Gjallar shrugged and rolled his eyes...  "Would y'all like a group hug 
or something?"

Trophy Wife responded, "Good idea."  She wrapped her arms around the 
Guardian, Irony Monger, and the Red Hart.

Gjallar looked on.  "Okaaay, I *s'pose* this was my idea, and I'm glad 
it works for you...  NEXT AWARD, PLEASE!"

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"... Phew.  Here we have RACC4, FAVORITE ARC!  Presented by some Aquaman 
dude named the Sea Questor!"  A man with scaled armor and pirate 
headgear walked on stage, munching a Twinkie.  Gjallar asked, "Got 
enough for everyone??"

"Nay!  All this golden fermentable treasure shall be my own!"

"Whatever...  What *arc* you got for us?"

"I *sink* arks!"

"Not that kind of arc, dude."

"Oh, right..."  The Sea Questor opened his envelope.  "We have but *one* 
clear winner this year!  He be named General Dragutin!"

The monitor said, "RACC4, FAVORITE ARC:  The Red Hand of General Dragutin!"

General Dragutin came up from the Nominee section.  "Ah!  You 
*recognize* me for my work to benefit the Galaxy!"

"... Aye, General!  I do not know yer Galaxy, but I know yer *type*!  Ye 
Generals may try to wipe my kind out, but I *do* recognize ye!"

As they glared at each other, Gjallar yelled, "Take It Outside!  NEXT 
AWARD, PLEASE!"

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"We're gettin' on the important stuff.  Now, RACC5, FAVORITE SINGLE 
ISSUE!  For our presenter, we picked someone with awesome skills of 
observation:  FBI agent Marcia Tatum!"  A woman in business suit and 
skirt walked on stage, while the band played and John Revolta sang, 
"Secret Agent Woman!"

Gjallar snickered.  "So, Agent Tatum, have you found the secret of 
Octo-Boy yet?"

"Why do you ask?  Octo-Boy's not under observation!"

"Right... Well, be my guest!"  Gjallar gestured at the microphone.

"Thanks, I think."  Marcia Tatum opened the envelope.  "We have one 
clear winner!  It's Legion of Net Heroes Volume 2 Number 50! 
Congratulations on your anniversary issue!"

The display showed, "RACC5, FAVORITE SINGLE ISSUE:  Legion of Net Heroes 
Volume 2 Number 50!  Accepted by Masterplan Lad!"  The audience clapped 
wildly as Masterplan Lad came on stage.

At the microphone...  "Oh.  I am so much not the right one to accept 
this award.  With all the time travel nonsense that went into this 
story, it's impossible to tell *who* should accept it."

But one big gallery had the Legion of Net.Heroes.  They started 
cheering, "Do It!  Do It!"

Neighboring galleries had their offshoots, the Legion-Y, the Legion-20, 
and the All-New Legion.  They cheered, "Do It!"

All the galleries started cheering.  "Do It!  Do It!"

Masterplan Lad finally took the award.  He cried as he said, "Thanks!" 
He held the award high, as the audience applauded for two minutes.

Finally a pair of women from the security staff escorted him off stage, 
as the audience still applauded.

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

Gjallar shrugged.  "Ooookay.  I wasn't expecting that.  But I'm glad you 
all had your sentimental moment...  Next, RACC6, FAVORITE 
HERO/PROTAGONIST!  Presented by Dr. Tune-On-Turn-In-Drop-Out!"

A hippie in sunglasses, a tunic, and bell-bottom pants came on stage. 
He said, "Oh wow.  You so love your heroes."  The audience clapped politely.

The Doctor opened the award enveloped, and looked closely at the paper. 
  "Wow.  It is so impressive how you love your heroes so equally.  You 
even include Death and the Devil."  The audience was silent.

"... Anyway, you have one winner:  an avatar of Puns!"  The audience 
clapped politely.  "And three runners-up, representing the Devil, 
Enthusiasm, and Death!  What a team!"  There was louder clapping, as the 
awardees all came on stage.

The monitor simply echoed, "RACC6, FAVORITE HERO/PROTAGONIST:  Painful 
Pun Person!  RUNNERS-UP:  The Diabolical Devilman, Kid Enthusiastic, and 
Poignant Death Lass!"

The Doctor started to give the awards one by one.  "Painful Pun Person, 
you must have turned the tide of battle in the award we just gave..."

Painful Pun Person responded, "Yes!  With Poignant Death Lass!  There 
was so much battle, I'm not even sure *what* we did anymore!  But we 
were there, with the LNH!  But we connected to energies together!  This 
LNH, and even beyond!  So WE ALL WIN!"

The Doctor squinted (behind sunglasses) and said, "Yes!  LET ME TELL YOU 
ABOUT ENERGIES!  They make you all interconnected!  I see it now!  As 
the Writers pass custody of you, one to another, your power increases! I 
see you are all in the web of Writers who have done that!  So come take 
your awards together!"

The Diabolical Devilman said, "Even me?"

"Yes!  *Especially* you!"

As Painful Pun Person and Poignant Death Lass held their awards high 
together, Kid Enthusiastic and then the Diabolical Devilman touched 
their own awards to them.  A rainbow erupted out, to swerve and bathe 
the auditorium.

As the rainbow faded, Painful Pun Person said, "Well, we've saved the 
world from Dorfs.  I'm going to Dorf-free-land."

Poignant Death Lass said, "At times like this I actually miss Horrible 
Name Lad."

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

"Now, RACC7, FAVORITE VILLAIN/ANTAGONIST!  Presented by Ms. Telemachus 
from the Ohio School!"

A frizzy-haired narrow-headed teacher with glasses came on stage.  She 
turned to Gjallar and said, "You were a naughty boy in school, weren't you?"

"Damn straight!"  The band played a riff from "Bad to the Bone."

"Well, antagonism is simply a paradigm and it can be transformed.  I've 
come here to present a Villain Award for precisely that purpose."

"Okaaay!  Knock yourself out!"

"Thank you, young man, I will.  I'm sure this assembly has at least one 
person who's been naughty enough to deserve special notice..."  She 
opened her envelope.  "Is Sedenion here?  Sedenion the Never-Lord?"

And so the display showed:  "RACC7, FAVORITE VILLAIN/ANTAGONIST: 
Sedenion the Never-Lord!"

A ghost arose from everyone in the arena.  It said:

"You name me villain, but I was your friend.
I took on power just to save mankind.
If but I had survived, you all would know,
The Never-Lord was hero best of all."

Ms. Telemachus said, "Oh.  I see.  Your antagonism's *already* been 
transformed into universal life force...  Well then!"  She handed the 
ghost the award.

The ghost said, "I thank you for this one last gift of praise."  He 
dissolved, along with his award, back into the audience.

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

"Next, RACC8, FAVORITE SUPPORTING CHARACTER!  For this we got a special 
presenter:  Bneezl the Saucer Alien!"

A short thin green alien with a big head, big eyes, and antennae walked 
on stage.  "Thank you, Earthling.  I secretly support Earth stability in 
my universe, like my father did before me.  So I am pleased to present 
this award."  He touched the envelope to his antennae.  "The winner is..."

And the display showed, "RACC8, FAVORITE SUPPORTING CHARACTER:  Lydia 
Devin!"

Lydia walked to the microphone.  "You know, my life kind of sucks.  So 
it's kind of a relief to be part of someone else's life story.  It's 
kind of hard for me to say this, but...  Thanks for still thinking of 
me."  She turned to the alien.  "And thanks for keeping this drama-free."

"I thank you for that also, Goddess."

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

"Here we have, RACC9, FAVORITE NEW CHARACTER!  For this one we got a guy 
who knows all the old characters!  And he's so good at keeping things 
going, he got his own award earlier tonight!  Now to give out an award, 
here's...  FAQ Boy!"

A normal guy in street clothes walked on stage.  "Hey, it's good to win 
something *and* help do the ceremony."  He opened the envelope.  "Just 
one winner!"

And the display showed, "RACC9, FAVORITE NEW CHARACTER:  Painful Pun 
Person!"

Painful Pun Person came back on stage.  "Wow!  I said it all earlier, 
but... thanks again!"

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"Now we got RACC10.  It's a new award:  FAVORITE TEAM/GROUP!  And I'd 
like to point out, *this band* is eligible for *next year's* award!" 
The band flourished.  "Our presenter is, The White Boomer!"

A man in a white costume walked to stage, holding sheets of poster 
board.  He silently scribbled on them with a marker, then held them up 
as signs.  The display zoomed in on him.

"Huh?  What's this *All-New* Legion of Net.Heroes?"  "They win!"  "But 
we have runners-up!"

The display showed, "RACC10, FAVORITE TEAM/GROUP:  The All-New Legion of 
Net.Heroes!  Runners-Up:  Salon DYAL, the Dyzen'thari, and the Dorfs!"

All-New Kid Enthusiastic, Vivian the stylist, and a man in comic-opera 
military uniform walked on stage.  But before they could get to the 
microphone, the arena broke open once more.  A horrible mass of 
tentacles erupted out.  An unearthly voice said, "You make sacrifice to us."

All-New Kid Enthusiastic quipped back, "Yeah, *runner-up* sacrifice!"

Gjallar joined in, "Yeah!  Like sacrificin' yer *sister*!"

"Nonetheless we take our due."  One tentacle grabbed a runner-up award 
as the creature withdrew.

All-New Kid turned to the Dorf representative.  "Hey, no taking notes on 
how to summon that thing!"

"...oh.  Of course not."  The Dorf took his runner-up award and left.

All-New Kid turned to Vivian.  "Congratulations!  It's so good to see 
Salon DYAL here!"

"It's great to *be* here, All-New Kid!  Thank you, everyone!  But I 
could see you in water colors..."

"Yeah, that'd work.  But I just gotta say, it's great to be here too! 
Thanks, everyone!"

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

"Oh, goody.  We got RACC11, FAVORITE PARODY/COMEDY!  We searched far and 
wide for the right person to present this fine award.  And we came up 
with, A Lazy Pirate Who Got Beat Up By A Mouse *Sidekick*!"

An old man with ragged pirate clothing, an eyepatch, a wooden leg, and a 
hook hobbled on stage.

Gjallar shrugged.  "I guess y'had to be there at the right moment for 
the comedy to work...  Take over, guy!"

"Arrr, thank ye..."  The pirate ripped the envelope open with his hook. 
  "Ye have a winner and two runners-up!"

The display showed, "RACC11, FAVORITE PARODY/COMEDY:  Easily Discovered 
Man!  Runners-Up:  Cover Gallery and Just Another Cascade!  (Accepted by 
Easily Discovered Man Lite, Master MIME, and LAN.os)

A normally-dressed man (only glowing), an Japanese-style humanoid anime 
character, and a large strutting alien man came on stage.  The glowing 
man got to the microphone first, and spoke...  "Uh, I *suppose* my 
powers are funny enough to laugh at.  I learned to live with that long 
ago.  So, I thank you for your accolades."

The alien spewed... "Speak for yourself, Earth human!  LAN.os is no 
laughing matter!  Once I gain the love of The Goddess, I shall bring the 
universe under my boot heel!"

Meanwhile, the anime creature quietly built a tower of alphanumeric 
characters.

Gjallar said, "Hey, Lanos, lemme get this straight.  Yer chasin' after 
some woman?"

"No!  She is not 'just some woman'!  She is the personification of power!"

"But she's still woman, right?"

"Right!  She is *Ultimate* Woman!"

Gjallar pointed and yelled, "*You's WHIPPED, Boy!*  You's a Slave of 
4*$$%!!"  LAN.os reeled before the devastating insult as the band 
flourished.

Meanwhile the anime creature's alphanumeric tower had reached above the 
stage.  Gjallar walked over.  "Hey, you.  Master Mime.  Which number's 
biggest?"

The anime creature's eyes goggled.  Then he raced up the tower.

Gjallar pulled a Zero from the base.  The tower collapsed, bringing the 
creature down with it.

The pirate had given Easily Discovered Man Lite his award.  Gjallar 
shoved the runner-up trophies at the others.  "NEXT AWARD, PLEASE!"

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

Gjallar paused a moment, and turned his head to the left as if listening 
to something.  Then he turned back to the audience.  "News from the 
judges!  We are gonna present THREE AWARDS AT ONCE!  Are You Ready??" 
The audience cheered.

"But we still got three presenters!  Here's some good stuff...  RACC12, 
FAVORITE ACTION/ADVENTURE!  Presented by the Penultimate Savior!"

A man came on stage, in a ninja outfit covered in a field of white 
stars.  He said, "The universes are filled with action.  They're *made* 
of action, from the molecular level on up.  I will present the comic 
which best exemplifies that action."

Gjallar looked on dubiously.  "Hey, if yer the *Penultimate* Savior, 
shouldn't you be giving a *second-best* award?"

"Indeed.  This is a category in which second-best often still inspires 
awe.  Your ceremony must have called upon me for precisely that reason. 
  Yet... I somehow sense that lack!  You have but One Winner!"

"Wait for it...  The next award is deep in the good stuff!  Here's 
RACC13, FAVORITE DRAMA/ACRAPHOBE!  Presented by Tina Wazowie, 
Representative to the Galaxy!"

A young woman walked to the microphone.  "Y'know, that didn't work out 
well?"

"Oh, like *I* never F'd up."  The band flourished.

"Thanks.  Anyway..."

"Wait for it!  We got one more award:  RACC21,  FAVORITE NEW TITLE!  For 
this one, we had Godling send a New Hekatoncheire robot guard from his 
Tartarus II base!"  A robot with lots of tentacles instead of arms came 
on stage.

Gjallar looked dubious.  "Since when do gods have robots?"

"We prefer the term 'automata'.  Hephaestus had many."

"Whatever...  That's three presenters!  You got three envelopes!  Time 
to open 'em!"

The Penultimate Savior, Tina Wazowie, and Godling's automaton opened 
their envelopes and said together, "Mighty Medley!"

The display showed:  "RACC12, FAVORITE ACTION/ADVENTURE:  Mighty Medley! 
  RACC13, FAVORITE DRAMA/ACRAPHOBE:  Mighty Medley!  RACC21,  FAVORITE 
NEW TITLE:  Mighty Medley!  (Accepted by Darkhorse, Joan Smith, and Bastet)"

The superheroine Darkhorse, the angel Joan Smith, and the goddess Bastet 
walked back on stage.  Darkhorse spoke first.  "Wow.  I never thought 
this thing would be so big.  Thank you!"

The angel spoke next.  "It is sometimes good to receive the judgment of 
Higher Power, or at least the accolades of mortals.  You have my thanks 
as well."

Finally the goddess spoke.  "This is more adoration than I have received 
in millennia.  Yet I know it belongs to a full pantheon of creations and 
their creators.  In their names I thank you."

They each took three awards away.

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

"After the favorite stories, where can you go?  There's just one award 
left:  RACC15.  FAVORITE STORY UNIVERSE!  We saved this one for last! 
Presented by... a Hamsterphone from the Ohio School!  Man, *that* almost 
makes me wanna go back to school!  *Almost*!"  The band played and John 
Revolta sang, "We don't need no education..."

Technicians carried a hamster on stage, and plugged it in.  Gjallar 
said, "Ouch!"

The hamster said in amplified voice, "You may think it painful, but it's 
nourishment to me."

"Riiight...  Takes all types.  I guess you're ready, so take it away!"

"Command accepted."  The hamster opened an envelope with his claws. 
"Two runners-up and one winner!"

The display showed, "RACC15.  FAVORITE STORY UNIVERSE:  Eightfold! 
Runners-Up:  Classic LNH and LNHY!  (Accepted by Julie Ann Justice, 
Fearless Leader, and Kid Enthusiastic-Y)"

Gjallar rolled his eyes and said, "Lemme guess.  Eightfold publishes 
Mighty Medley."

"They do indeed!"

Julie Ann Justice flew to the stage and got there first.  But she 
hovered above the podium while the two Legionnaires walked up.

Fearless Leader went first.  "I think I speak for us all when I say, 
it's great to be part of a team.  A society.  A universe."

Julie Ann said, "That's right!"  Kid Enthusiastic-Y gave two thumbs up.

"So I think I can thank you on behalf of us all!"

"That's right!"  And two thumbs up again.

As the Hamsterphone watched, Fearless Leader handed the awards out.

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

Gjallar yelled, "And That Is IT!  This has been the RACCies for 2014! 
Now go have those wrap parties!  And don't be surprised if I come see 
'em all!"  The band finished.

He glanced over at Tanya.  "So.  Babe.  We friends now?"

"Ehh, sort of."

"So, wanna come party with me?"

Tanya said, "You know I was just here to watch you."  Then she put her 
arm around John Revolta as he sang in Michael Jackson voice, "The 
doggone girl is mine!"

Gjallar said, "Aw, damn.  Aw, well."

At security team headquarters, Brass Team Alpha sighed.  So did the 
whole stadium, as it laid to rest and let the people out.

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

Author's Notes:

As in previous years, we're showing runners-up.  These are nominees 
which would have won or tied for first place if just one vote had been 
swapped one level, say between first and third place.  We're not showing 
all the nominees, though; you already know those, and the ceremony's 
bloated enough as it is.

I tried to keep the ceremony character-driven; I figured the right 
characters would provide adequate excitement.  I also tried to randomize 
it as much as possible, both in choice of presenters and their 
assignments.  Most of my algorithms involved the least significant 
digits of the cube root of the time of day plus the frequency of 
whatever radio station I was listening to at the time.  And if you're 
feeling the urge to enquire how many significant digits or what went 
first into the algorithm, oh, please.

Aside from Zenobia, all my characters were randomly chosen.  I kept 
rolling emcees until I came up with one that made sense - and then kept 
rolling until they made *more* sense.  That's how I came up with the 
dueling emcees and the backup band.

I know John Revolta is not eligible for an award in this year - but he's 
retroactively been around since 1979.  You'll see him in my stories 
soon.  I now consider him to be the guy who stands in for Johnny Rotten, 
if you should ever find out how the latter became a rival to Wyatt 
Ferguson in 2008.  Really.

In the absence of other claimants and plot elements, I eventually chose 
Gjallar Johanssen a.k.a. Imperilus the Exterminating Son as Master of 
Ceremonies.  I have never granted him a first name before this.

- When I created Gjallar, I was inspired by the story of Thor Sadler, 
son of Barry Sadler, author of "Ballet of the Green Berets".  Based on 
his father's memorabilia gallery, young Thor once thought America won 
the war *and* America was the Nazis.  Please don't make me look up that 
Internet reference; it seems to be too busy nowadays...  But it 
illustrates about how well Gjallar Johanssen got along with his father Sam.

- I shall have to consider how well Imperilus the Exterminating Son 
works with people other than militiamen.  His militia episode obviously 
didn't work out well for him, as witness SW10 Cauldron 2010 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2010/cauldron.htm).  And he obviously 
has anger management issues.

- But he was raised as the son of a world-conqueror.  And now he makes a 
good front man for diverse well-adjusted people including a former 
enemy!  In my world, the RACCies count!  And the ceremony has calmed 
Imperilus before.  (2010!)  Perhaps they have redeemed him this time. 
And when he has friends such as Mashup Laq to help restrain him, his 
temper *might* work out.  Ms. Telemachus would be pleased.

- And I increasingly get the urge to be like him.  Especially when it's 
time to say, "And I want you to know yer a prick!  Am I right?"

Zenobia is revealing the extent of her modern sisterhood for these 
RACCies... well, no, not *nearly*.  In her world she helped Hillary 
Clinton *almost* get the U.S. Presidency in 2008! ...  Anyway, for each 
ancient Martian with a sword, Zenobia can at least mobilize one modern 
woman who wields a rapier.

I'd planned a quiet year at the RACCies, but the characters had other 
ideas.  I thank the volunteers of the Security Force and the Band for 
providing competent handlers.  Next year might not be even *that* quiet. 
  But after *that*, I might go back to quietly announcing the awards 
plus a few cameo appearances.  8{D>

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

Credits:

The RACCies are full of character cameo appearances, especially the 
Presenters this year.  I selected Presenters so as to represent each 
person who'd shown an interest in RACC throughout the year.  This led to 
some appearances of characters who were never published in RACC; I've 
included web site citations for these.  I assigned Presenters as 
randomly as possible, short of allowing them to award to themselves. 
When I had more slots than contributors, I picked randomly from posts 
throughout the year... so Presenters may be a bit skewed to 
over-represent the leading contenders for the Rabbit-Breeder's Cup.  Oh 
well.

Awardees were chosen after I chose Presenters.  I chose their Acceptees 
to represent their owners and/or properties as distinctively as 
possible.  This led to some overlap between Presenters and Acceptees. 
Oh well.

Each guest character is of course the intellectual property of its 
respective owner.  I'm going to cite these volunteers, though:

- Quasha and Danalee of the Orphans of Mars are used by permission of 
Tom Russell.

- Brass Team Alpha, Ms. Telemachus, and Mashup Laq are used by 
permission of Andrew Perron.

- The Ultimate Mercenary is used by permission of Adrian J. McClure.

- I volunteered Zenobia, Philippe St. Joseph Lateran, Gjallar Johanssen 
a.k.a. Imperilus the Exterminating Son, Tanya of Body Up, and the Alien 
Beast, copyright 2015 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.

Some other characters deserve mention:

- Mary McLean is a character of April White.  I used these guidelines in 
scripting her appearance:  (1) Mary was already religious, and not 
inclined to question the divinity of beings she'd just met.  (2) She'd 
just seen a Supreme Being in human form.  (3) She was therefore 
sensitive to the will of Supreme Beings.  (4) In this venue, Supreme 
Beings are the RACCelestials and their will is expressed in the outcome 
of the RACCies.  (5) Mary was therefore not inclined to argue whether 
the awardees might be minions of Satan or Mohammad or something. 
Indeed, she was overwhelmed by the Judgment of Heaven...  April, if you 
would write Mary differently, please know that the RACCies are always 
non-binding upon your characters.

- Ress is a character of Tom Russell, among the Orphans of Mars.  I took 
a challenge to include the phrase "Ress needs a hug" in the ceremony.  I 
hope I'm up to date on her motivations.  If not...  Tom, please know 
that the RACCies are non-binding and all that.

I'd like to thank Andrew Perron for compiling the votes and reviewing 
the ceremony, particularly for creative input in the "Dark Kid 
Enthusiastic" sequence.  The ceremony itself is copyright 2015 by Eiler 
Technical Enterprises, but is freely available for quoting and 
incorporation into stories on Rec.Arts.Comics.Creative and all related 
media.

(signed) Scott Eiler, 24 April 2015.

-- 

When you *are* the leader... whatever goes wrong... whether you did it
or not... *you* are held responsible. - Barack Obama

I know. - Archie Andrews

- from Archie #617, March 2011, scripted by Alex Simmons.