LNH20: Ultimate Mercenary v20 #6

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Tue Apr 7 19:53:59 PDT 2015

On 4/7/2015 8:56 PM, Adrian McClure wrote:
> But it was hard to think. Not only did he have an awful
 > headache, the smell made things worse. It smelled like he was in a sewer.
> That was when he remembered that he was, in fact, in a sewer.


> "There are so many unusual
> species here in the sewers," he continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact he
> had an audience. "A unique ecology, shaped by the chemical, radioactive and
> mystical influences from the city above… Ah."

Makes sense! :D

> "Gertrude?"
> "Ah, well." Professor Lavigne blushed a little. "You see, I've been
> corresponding with another person who lives int he sewers who's been studying
> its ecology. She's had some… very intriguing observations.

The Professor is in love with a ninja turtle :D

> "I haven't really talked to anyone in months apart from you."
> "Hh," said Ultimate Mercenary.

If you can call this "talking".

> It wasn't that bad of an injury, but the weight of everything he'd
> been through in the last few days was crashing on him all at once. All he
> wanted was to go back to sleep and not wake up.

Oh, UM. You need all the hugs. ;.;

> "Rumor has it there are quite a number of communities of mutant animals,
> outcasts, and that sort of thing living under the sewers. The largest and most
> organized one is a city of alligators who were flushed into the sewers and
> transformed by their techno-cosmic mutagens.

Awesome. :D

> "Well, ah," said Lavigne, "the Gnarligator was a mutated alligator who was one
> of the most wildly popular heroes of this city in the 1980s.  He showed up
> after the Network disbanded in 1985, when hope seemed scarce.

Oooooooh, nice!

> He was so
> popular, in fact, that countless families in Netropolis bought pet alligators.
> But then, when raising them took more effort then they expected, they flushed
> these alligators down the toilet, where they were themselves mutated by the
> sewers…"
> "And we formed our own civilization," said Gertrude.. "Some of see the
> Gnarligator as a hero, a savior. Others see him as a devil and blame him for
> our miserable condition."

Oh, NICE. :D

> Some of the life that
> exists down here is certainly dangerous, but some of it is very beautiful
> indeed…" Gertrude actually blushed.

Yesssss, burly alligator girl get it

> And then, just as he was about to black out, another figure came racing downt
> he sewer tided—an alligator with shades riding a surfboard. "COWABUNGA!" he
> shouted, punching the crocosharktopus on the nose. [Was this too obvious a
> reference? Probably—ed.]

:D It totally is. <3

> "There was an alien invasion!" said Pantra. "I got to kill some giant tomatoes
> from space. It was really cool." She grinned.

Ah! Nice. <3 Right on the timeline, then...

> Ultimate Mercenary groaned in frustration. An epic battle to save the world
> and he hadn't been around for it? (There was something weirdly familiar about
> the tomatoes too… Why couldn't he remember?)

Oh man, I forgot that was a UM reference, too.

> "…but I understand being really overwhelmed. We've never had anyone like you
> before, someone from another universe."
> "Huh. We had them all the time where I was from," said Ultimate Mercenary.

We really do.

> Pantra cackled. "You think you can take me, ninja boy? You'll end back up here
> soon enough!"
> "We'll see about that!" Ultimate Mercenary leaped up and followed Pantra to
> the Peril Room.


> And anyway, he was done. Done with struggling to pay bills, done with being
> expected to draw for free, done with his family making fun of him for choosing
> to be an artist instead of doing a "real" job, something that was practical.

Relevance! <3 Cyberpunk!

> According to Cyborg Bob, the hypertech scavenger who'd
> given him the surgery, the eye implant came from one Cybyrstrykyr, a member of
  the cyborg mercenary team from the 90s, Excessive Force.


> So he'd
> build on that and make a name for himself, and then he'd take revenge on
> everyone who'd wronged him—MEGA, whoever had hired them, the asshole clients
> who wouldn't pay for art… and of course, that teenage ninja who'd wrecked his car…


> Author's notes: Well, this is the last pre-Spoon of Destiny issue of UM v20.
> One of my goals this year is closing all my narrative gaps, so that's one down.


> It was inspired by
> rereading the Archie TMNT Adventures, a comics run that was a huge influence
> on me as a kid.

Awesome. <3

> After this, I'm going to work on Evil's Last Stand II, an epic tale spanning
> the Infinite Leadership Crisis issues with the UM v1 cast, and then team up
> with Andrew Perron for the long-awaited end of Just Imagine, the climax of the
> first act of my LNH writing, which will finally reveal how Ultimate Mercenary
> got to Earth-20!


> I'm also going to write Spoon of Destiny  chapter 19 if no
> one else beats me to it, probably next month, and not until after Andrew has
> had a chance to finish JAC #13 as it'd be unfair to have to write two
> climactic issues at once. :)

Heeheehee. <3 I'm making surprising progress, despite all the other stuff I 
should be writing!

> Oh, and all the ideas and characters I created for the last two issues are
> General Use, except for Cybyrstrykyr, who's Ask Before Using.

Very good.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, useful

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