LNH/HCC: Just Another Cascade #12 part B

[Scott Eiler]

On 4/1/2015 12:19 PM, Adrian McClure wrote:

> "No," said Catalyst Lass, as the rifts opened wide, encompassing
> everything. At first slowly, and then faster and faster, everything
> on the diagram began to fade away. And then there was nothing. Not
> light, not darkness, not noise, not silence. Nothing at all.

... Heh, so everything which ever came from the LNH is gone except for 
this timeship.  Atomic Bunny is probably okay, but his Tooniverse 
backstory is shot.  Which is, well, a mercy for him.  And well, there go 
Kubes...  Oooh, just wait until they all find out!


> "I.. I don't know… I don't want to bring it back," said
> Sister-State-the-Obvious. "Usenet has died out. Most of the authors who
> made the LNH matter are gone and took their characters with them. And
> most of the relationships that people cared about are gone… All of the
> LNH stories this year have been written by two people. It has to end
> eventually. There are so many things in fandom culture that get drawn
> out too long and do nothing but disappoint people."

Stupid Usenet and stupid relationships from twenty years ago!  If only 
this cascade were taking place on Facebook!

(... Does it count if I threw in an LNH20 cover?)

> "Wait a minute," said Catalyst Lass. "Did I just—"
>
> "Catalyze the universe back into existence for a bit?" said Doctor
> Stomper. "I… I think so."
>
> "Hmm. Is there any way we can boost my catalytic effect?"
>
> "…I think so!" said Net.Access. "I could use my circuits to 'broadcast'
> the effect, maybe…"
>
> "But we'd have to use both magic and science, and like… smoosh them
> together, man," said Dr. Turn-On-Tune-In-Drop-Out.
>
> "Well," said Net.Access, "we could use my block transfer circuitry to do
> that, I guess…" The room shuddered again. "I think I can hold together
> that long. It'd take a lot of power though."
>
> "We could use your own enthusiasm for the LNH as a battery source!" said
> Doctor Stomper. He and Dr. Turn-On-Tune-In-Drop-Out huddled together and
> started drawing up plans and technobabbling together.
>
> "We will need some rubber bands though," Doctor Stomper added.
>
> "I guess I can take care of that," said Pliable Lad.

Wow, I guess they *did* pick the perfect team.



> The ship was absolutely quiet. At first nothing seemed to happen. But
> gradually, one by one, pieces of the world back to life, then faster and
> faster as the device ran on. Pliable Lad felt his mind stretch and
> distort along with his body. He heard a strange noise somewhere, on a
> plane beyond the physical. He was conscious of being watched by
> something far beyond his comprehension.
>
> Philosophers and mystics might argue about whether a tree falling in a
> forest made a sound, but Pliable Lad now knew what was the sound of
> RACelestials nodding.

Oooh.


> Catalyst Lass stared into the whirling depths of the  "Oh my god," said
> Catalyst Lass. "I can see… I can see everything. The Kube—it's a
> microcosm of the Usenetverse. The pattern—it's everywhere—I can see it!"

If only she could grab it!


> "Hmmm, I knew about the rifts," said Victoria. "I ran into that in the
> other universe. So where's this Kube—"
>
> "I've got it." Catalyst Lass had pulled the Kube out of her pocket and
> was playing with it, almost caressing it.

... Oh, right.  If I were going to recreate *my* favorite multiverse, 
I'd put its stray artifacts back in the right place too.  And the right 
place would of course be in my pocket.


> "Okay, this has gone on long enough." Lydia Devin stepped out of the
> shadows, facing LAN.os. "Look. I hate to break it to you—well, actually,
> I don't—but it's not going to work. For one thing, I'm not interested in
> *any*one that way. For another thing, I wouldn't be interested in you
> anyway. You don't need the Kube, because it'd just tell you what you
> already know and you won't listen. The reason no one wants you isn't
> because the universe is unfair, it's because you're a colossal douchebag."

heh, for a while the Kube was spewing cosmic power like no one's 
business, probably due to interaction with another Kube.  But now it's 
rebooted and it's back to basics!  8{D>



> And then a towering image of a woman appeared above them. Everyone
> instantly went still. A few of the LNHers had encountered her before.
> The earliest members had fought her in the days of the Cry.sig on
> Infinite Net.Earths, a few others had run across her later traveling
> between worlds [in the Ultimate Mercenary miniseries]. But everyone
> recognized her. She was one of the first and greatest enemies the LNH
> had ever faced — the Crossover Queen.

... hey, I know her!  So does (of all people) the Losernaut!


> "What's wrong with cascades? I thought you were the Crossover Queen."
>
> "Cascades and crossovers seem to resemble each other," said Crossover
> Queen, "but they are deeply opposed. Crossovers are forces of order,
> binding worlds together, while cascades are forces of chaos, disrupting
> and destroying all common sense. What was the point of all that business
> with the duck?"

If the duck were here right now, thanks to his own dimensional transit 
powers plus affinity with Kubes and a desire to track them down, he'd 
burst upon the scene and say...

     "Hey!  The duck was the only *crossover* in the whole thing! 
Except you, Goddess..."  Lydia Devin nodded.  "And who was it started 
moving cascades forward?  *The duck!*"  He proudly extended a feathered 
digit toward his breast.  "Force of order, binding worlds together!"

     "Oh, please, duck."  The Crossover Queen scowled.  "You, a force of 
order?  Begone!"

     A portal opened behind the duck.  He looked through it, and said, 
"Oooh!  Thai schoolgirls...  with a one-month residency special!"  He 
let the portal suck him in.

     The assembled heroes and villains shrugged and/or shuddered.  One 
said, "Anyway...'

> "Why did there need to be a point?" said Catalyst Lass. "If you ask me,
> I think that kind of silliness is why we're still here. It's the reason
> the LNH is still around after so many other projects have been forgotten."

...

> "And what of you, Lydia Devin?" said the Crossover Queen.
>
> "Hey don't look at me, Queenie, this isn't my universe," said Lydia,
> still standing awkwardly to the side of everything. "I get enough
> headaches with just the one"
>
> "I could teach you to use your powers properly." She swirled over to
> Lydia and looked her in the eyes. "You need not fear them. You need no
> longer live under the tyranny of your sister…"
>
> Lydia had looked as if she was considering it for a moment, but her face
> hardened and she set her shoulders firmly. "Excuse me. That's not your
> business. You're not the one who gets to get back at my sister." A dark
> aura began to swirl around her. "Funny you should mention her. I knew
> you reminded me of someone."

Oooh, nice crossover moment.  I think maybe the Crossover Queen doesn't 
always like crossovers as much as she says.


> Catalyst Lass raised her finger to her lips, the rest of the team. She
> took out the Kube and held it in her hand, looking at Merissa carefully.
>
> "Sure," she said, and swiftly tossed the Kube to her.
>
> TO BE CONCLUDED!

... duh duh dooom!

-- 
(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

When you *are* the leader... whatever goes wrong... whether you did it
or not... *you* are held responsible. - Barack Obama

I know. - Archie Andrews

- from Archie #617, March 2011, scripted by Alex Simmons.