8FOLD: Red Hart # 3, "The Forest Prince Returns"

[Andrew Perron]

On 8/29/2014 7:46 PM, Tom Russell wrote:
<snip>
> SEDENION
> What place is this? And what has drawn me here?
> Tis strange, but familiar. Tis like those dreams
> Recalled when waking: fleeting, yet just there,
> Just out of reach, receding. Likewise seems
> I've seen before this bleak and haunting keep.

AUGH this is both good in and of itself and as a stylistic pastiche

> FIRST SHADE [of many]
> The master lives again!
>
> SEDENION [aside]
>                          I'll play along.

Oh, Sedenion. Somehow I really like you.

> SEDENION
> My father would just end them all, these Shades.
> Again, the son is smarter than the eight.
> In name of Love I'll wield the tools of Hate.

REPEATED CURSING OF HUBRIS THEME

> WAZOWIE
> Not to lay some exposition on you here, Peter, but look-it: the number
> of days when I'm not on tour this month I can count on my left hand.
> Number of days when you don't have to do some save-the-world crap,
> that's my right hand. Finding a finger that's on both hands is, like,
> physically impossible, because again, we're talking two different
> hands here, but somehow, we've done it, and we have a perfectly
> scrumptious-- again, sir, I say scrumptious!-- afternoon to knock some
> boots in the clouds, and you're wasting it waxing iambic. So, shut up
> your face already.

SO ADORABLE.

> FAHRENHEIT MAN [spying something]
> Tina! Watch out!
>
> [The SHADES enter, descending like comets, and exit towards the
> surface. WAZOWIE and FAHRENHEIT MAN scramble out of the way.]
>
> WAZOWIE
> Like I was saying, a perfectly scrumptious day we can spend saving the world.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

> MATT
> Here we are. This spot's as good as any, right? Hoping... hoping
> you're not too particular about it. You said a river in the woods, and
> woods is woods, and these are woods and this is a river.
>
> [He opens the urn and scatters the ashes.]

Awwwwwwwww. :<

> I ain't
> ungrateful for the life you gave me. Quite the opposite. Just
> sometimes wish I knew what I was supposed to do with it.
>
> [He is struck by a bolt of red lightning. His body crackles with energy.]

Oh, that's convenient

> FAHRENHEIT MAN [using a comm device]
> This is Fahrenheit Man of the Seven Wonders! With me is Tina Wazowie,
> ice-siren of my secret heart!
>
> WAZOWIE
> Seriously, not the time!

Heeheehee <3

> RED HART
> And those, the Shades that serve the Never-Lord,
> my father's brother, who doth seek to bind
> All life, free life, to his dark boundless will!
> If I am free, so must be he, for we
> Were locked us both behind the seven seals,
> For thirteen billion years as reckons Earth.
>
> FAHRENHEIT MAN
> Thirteen... billion...?
>
> WAZOWIE [quietly]
> I don't think there were deer thirteen billion years ago.

XD XD XD

> WAZOWIE
> I'll carry him so he doesn't go up in flames. Wait, hospital? No, man.
> He needs medical attention and monitoring and maybe a cup to whiz in,
> sure, but not a hospital. What happens if he exploderizes again?

I like her speech pattern. <3

> VAN
> Worthless lemon.
>
> [The lights go out.]
>
> VAN
> Hey! I didn't mean it! Oh, c'mon...!
>
> [Exit VAN and her ship, spiraling uncontrollably towards the Earth.]

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, ahhhhhhh, good stuff.