8FOLD: Mighty Medley # 11, November 2014, by Messrs. Brenton, Perron & Russell

[Andrew Perron]

On 11/1/2014 8:10 AM, Tom Russell wrote:
<snip>
> Containing by way of example much practical advice for those readers
> who likewise plan on travelling to alternate universes.

I say, capital!

> The space-robot Monad finds solace in a place that doesn't exist, yet
> has a thousand names.

Oooooh! Yes good, I was hoping for more of this.

> As ever with Mr. Perron's work, its twists and
> surprises are gentle, sweet, and endearing.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

>     First impressions.  There was a shuffling of scenery as the two of
> them moved between worlds, combined with what appeared to be a
> fast-forwarding from autumn into mid-winter.

That's a good bit of description.

>     Then the smell hit home.  Not an actual physical smell; the place
> was quite normal as far as human scents of habitation and cars and
> occasional uncollected garbage.  Outwardly it was no more noisome than
> you would have expected.  Nevertheless it took a concerted effort of
> will by Deidre to keep herself from wrinkling up her features in
> distaste.

That too, though the "noisome" sentence might be gilding the lily.

> But if
> you keep your eyes open," and here she nonchalantly leaned over to
> pick up a discarded paper from a bench as they walked by, "there are
> usually opportunities that can be used to your advantage."

I do love that sort of thing - knowing how a society works well enough to take 
advantage of the bits sticking out.

>     "It's definitely not ectoplasm," answered Joan.  But Deidre noted
> the puzzled frown on the angel's face, and the way she avoided
> commenting on whether or not it was matter.

Don't worry, Joan, it doesn't matter.

> I think it's off that way..."
>      At which moment there was an enormous explosion in the direction
> that Joan was pointing.

*DOCTOR WHO STING*

>     She just drifts, timelessly, forgetting for a minute or a year that
> space is not really a thing, not really a place at all. It's nothing,
> it's no-place, it's just airless air that (doesn't) exist between real
> things: stars and planets and moons and dust and rocks and her.

I would argue differently!

>     It has names. Though it's not a place, it has a thousand names in a
> thousand tongues. One of these names, if translated literally, is the
> black rhapsody. A less literal, and perhaps more useful, translation
> of the same would be the sirens. For this cold, lonely void is
> irresistible to a certain sort of cosmic being.

Ahhhhhhhh... yes. Mmmmm. <3

>     Monad knows none of these names, and is unaware of the ancient
> hungry nothing that gathers around her.

THE HUNGRY PAST AAAAAAAAAA`o`

>     If she feels something nibble at her edges, she does not make a
> note of it. She's focused on her destination now. She remembered, and
> because she remembered, she will not forget again-- at least, not
> here. It's not long before she's beyond its grasp, never to return.

Fascinating.

>     "Oh, Mr. Peake!" exclaimed Strife. "I've heard of you, alright. In
> fact, I've been awful keen to find you. Isn't that so, Mr. Silke?"
>     "It is," said Silke.
>     ("He took Celine," said Hank.)
<snip>
>     ("My wife," said Hank.)
<snip>
>     ("Why are you talking to him?")
<snip>
>     "HE TOOK CELINE!" Hank lunged at Peake with the force and speed of
> a train. It weren't near fast enough, and part of the split-rail fence
> exploded into splinters and dust.

I LOVE THIS BUILDUP.

>     Gulliver had already took to the air, lobbing cannonballs of flame.
> Peake made his body vibrate like a flesh-and-blood tuning fork, and
> the balls passed right through him like a whistle in the dust. What
> remained of that fence now took fire and burned.

I'm imagining them fighting him a la Brave and the Bold #28. If I had money I 
would commission that, I s2g.

>     Peake whirled around back to Hank and the knife became ghostly
> again. This time it passed through Hank's skin, plunging deep and hot
> into his gut. The blade became solid inside of Hank, and Peake drew it
> from one end of the other. Then Peake pulled it out.

Ewwwwgh.

>     "Celine." Hank was on the ground now, curled up like a little ball,
> weak and whimpering.
>     "Oh," said Peake, "Ned will make her a fine husband. He'll treat
> her just right. He's a sentimental fellow. You can see that. You can
> see that from how he cares for his kin. And if he don't take a shine
> to her?
>     "If he don't, well, the lady has a mighty pretty skin, and a lovely
> soprano what's made for screaming." With that, he walked away,
> slow-like.

I will say this: You're really good at writing characters for the purpose of 
the reader hating them.

>     They watched him for some ten minutes, until he was completely
> disappeared. Once he had, the corpse and its clothes all tore open
> like a greasy bag, and Skin of Snake climbed right out.

!

> Monika suspects her live-in boyfriend, Froggy, is secretly one of the
> Villains Quartet, a sinister string ensemble and crime syndicate. From
> the following clues, deduce the identity of one of the members of the
> Quartet, and explain why the evidence points to this conclusion.
>
> (1) When they attempt a heist, and it is successful, they always split
> the loot four ways-- 25% for each person who took part.
> (2) If Froggy gives Monika a gift, it's only because he feels guilty.
> (3) Froggy only dates gorgeous redheaded women.
> (4) If only one of their members is sound asleep, the Quartet will
> attempt a heist.
> (5) The two Violins are each of them gorgeous redheads.
> (6) The only night Froggy and Monika are apart is Tuesday, as Froggy
> always "works late at the office".
> (7) Now that Froggy's fine black hair is out of curl, he has stopped
> smiling altogether.
> (8) Froggy's snoring and virulent flatulence keeps Mona awake six nights a week.
> (9) The famous Monster Diamond was stolen Tuesday night by the Quartet.
> (10) On Wednesday morning, Monika found the Monster Diamond, and
> strands of red hair, hidden in Froggy's sock drawer.
> (11) The Second Violin is the only woman in the Quartet.
> (12) When a jewelry heist is unsuccessful, the Cellist smiles
> uncontrollably from embarrassment.
> (13) Froggy has worn the same socks all week long.
> (14) Men who philander smile uncontrollably from embarrassment.
> (15) Froggy does not play the viola.

  Froggy is not a member of the Quartet; hair color keeps him out of the 
violins, lack of smiles forbids the cello, and naturally, Froggy does not play 
the viola. Monika, however, is the Second Violin, and hid the Monster Diamond 
in Froggy's woefully underused sock drawer, where she found it the next 
morning. This is probably wrong, as I can't figure out how the first clue fits 
in with the presence of a whole diamond.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, who recently played a fine case of 
Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective, spoiled only by the asinine carryover 
racism.