LNH20: Bite-Size Tales of the LNH v20 #12

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Nov 8 14:22:53 PST 2014

Bite-Size Tales of the LNH v20 #12:
"The Deepest Dish"
By Andrew Perron


Out on the fringes of the Omnilooniverse, in the astral foam that is
created when a Looniverse bounces off the Barrier before mixing gently
into the slurry of the Superhuman Worlds, there is a bubble reality.
Many such realities are filled with a single substance - the Semi-
Elemental Plane of Fog, the Punch Dimension, the World of Tanks.

In this case, it was pizza.

There was no life as it was commonly thought of. The cheese was not
mammal lactation mixed with microorganisms and carefully curdled; it
simply was. The sausage and pepperoni had never been muscle, the
pineapple and peppers were never a tree. The crust was geological, not

Yet there was a lifespan, and eventually, an ending. And when the ending
came, the eating began; time and space devoured until there was no
duration, no place in which eating might happen, and still, the eating

Rwtn-T'bol loved pizza.

The Router sat on a nearby demiplane, relaxing meditatively as they
oversaw the death of a world. Though they did not in fact eat, there
were certain energies released from the collapsing reality which helped
to sustain their cosmic form. And being invited out for dinner had been
a nice surprise.

"So how's work been?" Rwtn-T'bol's full form spread out in the endless
unspace, a sixteen-dimensional web that undulated along impossible
frequencies, an infinite ensnaring net whose three-dimensional tentacles
were merely symbolic of its true reach and grasp.

"You have something, right there..." The Router cupped their hands
around a twisted knot of strange matter, hanging in orbit around Rwtn-
T'bol's maw, and annihilated it, letting the harsh radiation swirl away.
"My duties have not been onerous, though the rifts are still a concern."

"That's good." Rwtn-T'bol nibbled thoughtfully on a year and a day.
"Change has come to the Preceptory."

"I was under the impression that such a statement had been true since
humanity created their first deity," said the Router, a certain
drollness in their rich monotone voice.

Rwtn-T'bol's form shivered, laughter clicking across its angles. "Truth.
But since the ending of Net.cron, there has been endless debate. Some
counsel patience, and others take action."

They nodded. "Thus was I raised from humanity."

"Indeed, and don't think I haven't thanked the Switchboard for that." It
stretched its tentacles across the gap, wrapping about the Router's
cosmic shell. "But there are some who would act in the other direction,
and strike in the night. And I must say, your world would be a filling
meal-- but a bitter one."

"I understand your implication." They snuggled in, among the unreal
spaces. "But Earth-20's role as a keystone is not yet complete -
possibly, will never be."

"And it'd be best for the Elder Gods to adapt to that fact." It
shrugged. "But foolishness exists at all levels of reality."

"Including foolish love."


And outside the hold of reality, there was peace.


Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, I love pizza so much, you guys.

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