LNH20: NHOP # 1

[Tom Russell]

On Saturday, November 8, 2014 12:47:43 PM UTC-5, Andrew Perron wrote:
> !!! YOOOOOOOO
> 
> On 11/8/2014 7:06 AM, Tom Russell wrote:
> > Tyler is dead: to begin with.
> 
> I really need to actually read A Christmas Carol.

It's worth reading, though honestly the first six words are the best.

> 
> > Why they were friends, she had no idea.
> > Maggie was a big fat ugly nothing with no personality and no friends,
> > except for Tyler. Tyler, on the other hand, was charming, extroverted,
> > and "normal", apart from his penchant for pedantry and semicolons and
> > stupid hats and suspenders and Velcro shoes and pince-nez glasses and
> > Deanna Durbin and eight-hour board games about trains and pronouncing
> > robot so it rhymes with butt and, well, okay, she can see why he
> > didn't have many friends.
> 
> I dunno, you both sound pretty cute.

The author agrees, even if the character doesn't. :-)

> >     That wasn't the usual self-pity talking. It was a fact. The night
> > of her twenty-second birthday, and every night after, she turned into
> > a giant pink blob. Her skin and muscle and bone all became a kind of
> > sticky, corrosive gelatin. Her eyes burned off and her mouth closed
> > up. Her hair sizzled and her clothes were absorbed into her mass.
> > While she still had a head, and arms, and legs, everything sort of ran
> > together, and it was nothing that resembled a human being.
> 
> ...yoooooooo o.o;
> 
> No judgment (I definitely want to see where this is going), just an 
> observation: This probably should've been tagged Acraphobe.

... Hmm, you're probably right. I tend to think of the ACRA label as applying to particularly explicit sexual or violent content, or language-- but I guess this does constitute violence of a sort, doesn't it? Sorry about that.

> >     But that was when he was alive. After she had killed him, his
> > family didn't want anything to do with Tyler's friend Maggie.
> 
> Hmmmmmmm...

If I'm reading the "Hmmmmmmm" correctly... This is a pretty normal thing for families to do when grieving, especially when the friend in question is partially, if accidentally, responsible for the death.
  
> > Maggie would describe
> > her as a stick with breasts, but she's not so sure about the latter.
> > Really, Lily's built like a boy: flat hips, flat chest, sharp angles,
> > zero curves.
> 
> Hmmmmmmmm.

If I'm reading the "Hmmmmmmm" correctly... actually, I'm having a little trouble parsing the "Hmmmmmmm" here. Could you elucidate, sir?

> >     Maggie looks at the room, then at Lily. In the half hour since
> > they've left the restaurant, two more little bubbles of flesh have
> > popped and been replaced by gray little stones. These two are on her
> > face, and yet she still looks strangely beautiful. It's the smile, she
> > realizes; the crinkle of her nose and the twinkle of her eyes. She's
> > turning into a flesh-eating monster, and is totally punk-rock about
> > it. Maggie wishes she could be like that.
> >     She says yes, and I guess this is as good a spot as any to say see
> > you next time.
> 
> Hmmmmmmm...

Hmm?

> Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, this story is very hmmmmmm.

I guess so! :-)

==Tom