LNH/SW/GC/HCC: Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will Probably Never Have an Ending #9: "Merissa Stole the Precious Thing"

Scott Eiler seiler at eilertech.com
Wed May 14 20:59:27 PDT 2014

I admire that anyone's following up on this.  And I laughed at the 
Psychovant section when I read it.  At work.  During a conference call. 
  A terribly important conference call, of course.

On 5/13/2014 7:29 PM, Andrew Perron wrote:
> The demonically-possessed cyborg duck known as Psychovant floomped into
> existence holding one of the cosmic artifacts known as Kubrik's Kubes.
> Now that he'd taken care of the important business of hedonism and
> sarcasm, he could finally get down to...
> Whatever it was the Council wanted him to do. Eh, he'd remember
> eventually.

They'd *sent* him to investigate the Looniverse crisis.  Fortunately he 
overrode his programming, starting with a self-preservation instinct.

> He shook the Kube. Now why the hell had it put him down in some random
> field? He was supposed to be in the Greater Espanola All-You-Can-Eat
> Bouncing Beauty Boulangerie, with a Negra Modelo in one wing and one of
> the aforementioned beauties in the other!

Hey, wasn't the Kube an information device?  It was just feeding 
Psychovant answers earlier, and he was just going to destroy LNH 
cascades because he hates LNH cascades.  Perhaps the Kube's powers are 

> Psychovant fell over laughing. "Atomic Rabbit? Seriously, Atomic
> Rabbit!? What, are you going to team up against me with Jet Age Pigeon
> and McCarthyist Hamster?"

yay, Psychovant!

> Atomic Rabbit put his hands on his hips. "I knew you would be
> unrepentant, but making a joke of forgetting your victims - how low can
> you sink!?"
> The duck managed to stop guffawing long enough to push up on one wing.
> "Ahhhh, that's rich... Y'know, I'd like to screw around more, but I
> thought'cha should know - I got *no* idea what you're talking about."
> Atomic Rabbit clenched his fists. For a moment, atomic fire crackled
> around them. "RrrrrrrPSYCHOVANT!" He pointed at the duck. "The
> Tooniverse bleeds, because of you! You and your tourism - your 'super
> important expeditionary mission'! You wanted to see the three ancient
> statues that sustain our world - The Rabbit, the Sentinel, and the
> Barbarian. And you... and you..." He held a hand over his face, holding
> back tears. "You... drew MOUSTACHES on them!"

This is way more fun than stealing atomic carrots.  Yay, Psychovant!

> "The fundamental force of Comedy overran the world, changing and
> disrupting life as we knew it! Life was turned into a series of wacky
> shenanigans! It was... the Gagpocalypse." Atomic Rabbit shook his head,
> apparently unaware of how silly he sounded. "A few of us... we took the
> Drama into ourselves. To protect it. But we were warped as well." He
> reached into his belt, pulled out a glowing carrot. "Once, my U-235
> carrots gave me power. But now... they are slowly, *dramatically*,
> killing me."
> Jeez, even Psychovant had to admit that that was serious. Maybe he ought
> to say he was sorry and--
> Wait. He wasn't sorry! He was never sorry!

yay, Psychovant!

> Something was *off*. All at once, the cyborg duck realized - he wasn't
> being written by his creator!
> He had to be careful - he knew how much over-the-top ridiculous
> characters like Ambush Bug and Lobo got twisted around by being part of
> a larger universe. Soon he'd be introspecting, and then angsting, and at
> that point it would be all over except for the part where he got
> rebooted with a committee-approved generically threatening design.

Ah, how true.

> Well, he wasn't going to end up like Ultimate Deadpool! Psychovant
> gripped the Kubrik's Kube. "That's a great story. I'll be sure to tell
> it to the kids." He planted one webbed foot on the ground. "But now..."
> He raised the Kube. "It's rabbit season."
> And Atomic Rabbit *grinned*. "But that's where you're wrong." He opened
> up his trusty belt buckle and pulled out a six-sided shape, glowing with
> immanent power. "It's duck season."

Now *that's* Drama vs. Comedy.

> Psychovant let out a cloud of profanity that turned the air blue. Oh,
> great - this moron had his *own* Kubrik's Kube!
> "The force that created our civilization, that raised us up from mere
> animals - how appropriate to use it to stop the one who betrayed us!"
> Atomic Rabbit pointed the Kube at Psychovant, and the irresistable force
> pulled at his feathers.

See earlier comment about the power of Kubrik's Kube, which fits the 
ultimate device of an atomic civilization.  But of course if some drama 
queen wabbit goes waving it around at a Final Confrontation, it's gonna 
act like a gun.

> And suddenly the light was gone.
> The cosmic power was gone.
> The contestants in the battle of strength were gone.
> The field was quiet and peaceful. A butterfly winged lazily through the
> air, neither knowing nor caring what strange event had just taken place.
> And at the point where the power had met most furiously, motes of blue-
> green light streamed from a crack...

Obviously the forces of Drama and Komedy, err, Comedy have met and 
cancelled out, leaving only two depowered animals transported to neutral 
ground.  Now, what would be neutral ground between angsty 2010s online 
fiction and 1950s funny animal comics?  I lack knowledge of LNH-based 
venues, but I do know of one place:  the biology labs of Power City High 
School in the comics of PowerTEEN 1955!  That ain't gonna happen as a 
comic any time soon, but I hereby make PowerTEEN 1955 available for this 

... now, would the *awkward* moment be something in Lydia Devin's 
passages?  :)

 > * Psychovant created by Scott Eiler.

I think you may safely say "used with permission" based on my earlier 
posts to this cascade.  My actual phrase is "copyright 2014 Eiler 
Technical Enterprises, but available for public use in this cascade 
without limit".  But basically I figure Psychovant is everyone's 
character now.

And, well done.

(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

When you *are* the leader... whatever goes wrong... whether you did it
or not... *you* are held responsible. - Barack Obama

I know. - Archie Andrews

- from Archie #617, March 2011, scripted by Alex Simmons.

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