LNH: All-New Legion of Net.Heroes #3

[Scott Eiler]

On 1/21/2014 4:19 PM, Andrew Perron wrote:
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> LLLLLLLLLLLLLL                                      |   Session #3    |
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> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ANDREW PERRON as Kid Enthusiastic
> EDWARD HAUSER as Genesis
> ANTONIO MENTEGUIAGA as Maia
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> THE STORY SO FAR: There is *power* flowing from the Net to humanity and
> back! The net.powered have gathered together on a budget to form - the
> Legion of Net.Heroes!
> ========================================================================
>
> Kid Enthusiastic has a wrench!
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "I definitely did not steal it."
>
> Genesis eyes Kid E. "...Um, okay. I don't recall asking if it was
>    stolen..."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh cool."
>
> Genesis peers. "/Did/ you steal it?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Nope!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "I bought it at the hardware store."
>
> Genesis says, "Why? Something in need of smashing or turning?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Well, like, there's always *something*. If we
>    want an LNH-mobile or a plane or, like, some sort of net-throwing
>    trap, we'll definitely need a basic toolkit!"
>
> Genesis sighs. "We don't have the money for the supplies for /any/ of
>    those things." She leans back in her chair and looks up at the
>    ceiling. "Starting to wonder if I should get back in contact with
>    VEIL..."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic shakes his head so hard he briefly gets dizzy. "No
>    way!" He hops up on the desk, and fiddles with his phone for a
>     moment. "I-- ah!" A dramatic march begins playing, and he points out
>     the window into the appropriately-timed sunset. "If we're going to
>     really and truly bring together the new humanity, we can't be
>     beholden to the government or the military! We gotta be heroes!
>     Fighting for the public good! Serving the people in our own way!
>     Doing the things they can't!"
>
> Genesis leans forward and rests her chin on her fist, grinning very
>    slightly. She sighs a little. "You're right, of course... I mean,
>    that's why I resigned. It's just... we don't have any resources. I'm
>    not sure what else we can do right now..."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic's music sort of winds down awkwardly. "...hmmmm." He
>    hops off the desk. "Maybe we could have a community bake sale."
>
> Genesis chuckles. "That'd get us a new Danger Tracker, maybe." She
>    gently kicks the side of the old Gateway computer under the desk, the
>    aluminum case thumping. "Look... I don't know how much time we have,
>    here. We need to get money *somehow*. A lot of it... we need to have
>    rapid response capabilities, we need an *actual* tracker, and most
>    importantly, we can't operate totally freelance. We need support and
>    cooperation from and with the government."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic hrmmmmmmms. "Maybe..." He snaps his fingers. "I know!
>    A private detective license! We can take cases to pay the rent and
>    get some official recognition!"
>
> Genesis grins. "Hmm. Well... I like the idea, I'll give you that much.
>    But... okay, look. I was trying to be a bit more subtle, but I really
>    feel like we need to work with VEIL. I don't mean that we should
>    become agents, but... look, I know these people. They're government,
>    sure, but they're good people, and are trying to protect humanity
>    just as much as we are... hm. Maybe we can work with them as
>    metahuman consultants, of sorts."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic hrmmmmmmm. "Well, I mean..." He taps his chin with his
>    fist in a kind of adorable way. "I mean, if we're consultants,
>    y'know? If we're not taking orders, I guess that would... maybe... be
>    okay?"
>
> Genesis smiles. "Exactly. I don't know whether Director Lionheart's
>    gonna go for it, but I like to think the work we did together when
>    she was the ERU chief counts for a lot. This'll get us public
>    recognition, money, *and* rapport with the government. We need that."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic sits down, pondering, tapping his fingers together.
>    "Wellll... okay. But if we go all corporate because of this, I
>    reserve the right to go and found the West Coast LNH."
>
> Genesis says, "Fair. Buuut I'm pretty sure we won't have to worry about
>    that... you're /really/ weird, kid, but honestly, you're a valuable
>    asset... you've got a hell of a brain and I don't think anyone could
>    match your enthusiasm."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic grins. "Well naturally! That's why the name." He nods
> firmly.
>
> ========================================================================
>
> Maia pulls a sheet of paper out from her cloak.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic o.o
>
> Genesis glances over at Maia.
>
> Maia oh right, pulled out a sheet.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic ah! Indeed.
>
> Maia says, "It came with the hammer I think. ....Its got numbers and
>    stuff on it."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oooooh! Can I see? o.o"
>
> Maia hands it over.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hmmmm, looks like it's some kind of dungeon-y
>    dragon-y character stats page thing. With your name on it!"
>
> Maia gasps, looks it over, "...I feel kinda insulted by this thing
>    now."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, c'mon, you have a high Charisma! I could
>    just pinch your cheeks! <3"
>
> Maia says, "Right! Charisma! So obviously I must be some sort of
>    charismatic class! ...I think."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hmmmmmmm, class, class... huh. That's weird."
>
> Maia says, "What is?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "I think says 'Carpenter'. Is that, like, a
>    metaphor for hitting people with a hammer?"
>
> Maia says, "...Carpenter. Carpenter isn't a class!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, I dunno, lots of people want to learn
>    carpentry. Pays good money!"
>
> Genesis peeks at the paper. "...Okay, this is starting to get a little
>    too meta."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic hmmmmmmmms and pulls out a pencil. "I wonder if you'd
>    change if we wrote new stuff on here..."
>
> Genesis snatches the pencil out of Kid E's hand.
>
> Genesis says, "No."
>
> Genesis says, "We don't fuck around with the potential fabric of a
>    person's being lightly."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic pouts! "I was only going to put something in her
>    inventory. Like, a banana peel!"
>
> Genesis gives Kid E a look.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "For *science*!"
>
> Maia says, "My inventory is on that thing?"
>
> Genesis says, "Possibly? What's in your pockets?"
>
> Maia says, "...Oh yeah! I'm wearing jeans under this hoodie!"
>
> Maia says, "Kid! I'm hungry! Write apple on that sheet!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic gets out the pencil? :D
>
> Maia nods, "Do it!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic quickly writes in 'apple'!
>
> And its quickly erased from the sheet, if it can even be called that.
>    The writing seems to unwrite itself after the pencil, the lead
>    quickly breaking and the sheet sparking a tad.
>
> Maia says, "Huh. Guess not, alrighty then."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic ...huh.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic takes copious notes.
>
> Maia takes back the sheet. "Probably best if I keep this for myself."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Ooooh! Make a photocopy and see if you can
>    write on that!"
>
> Maia says, "...You guys have a copy machine?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "...well, there's one in the print shop in the
>    next building over."
>
> Maia stares at the print shop. "How long have we been in a city."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, here, let me pull up the description from
>    the first session on my phone..."
>
> --
> As yet, the headquarters of the Legion of Net.Heroes (the name was Kid
>    E's idea) is a small affair--really, they just rented out a couple
>    floors of commercial office space.
> --
>
> Maia says, "Oh, in that case."
>
> Maia sits in her rightfully gained office chair. "So how we paying for
>    this place?
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "By scrimping and pinching! Although..."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic looks over his shoulder at Genny. "Well, Genny's going
>    to 'make use' of some of her government contacts. Which... will
>    totally be a good idea! ...right?" He gives Maia a hesitant
>    thumbs-up.
>
> Maia looks at Genny, "We should probably get some sort of superhero
>    funding or something shouldn't we.
>
> Genesis nods. "It will., I'm sure of it." She smiles. "We'll be
>    freelancing for VEIL. No ties beyond them paying us to do stuff we
>    choose."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic ...second thumbs-up?
>
> Genesis thumbsup!
>
> ========================================================================
>
> Maia says, "...Hey, I'm a superhero, aren't I? Is there like, a
>    documented amount of skin I'm supposed to be showing or something?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Skin? Is your skin the source of your powers?
>    o.o"
>
> Maia says, "No. ...Wait, do I have powers?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "...I thought you had powers??"
>
> Maia says, "I have a hammer!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hammer power!"
>
> Maia shrugs.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "But yeah! Do you want to wear a bikini or
>    something?"
>
> Maia says, "I dunno, doesn't seem too sensible really. I'd probably
>    flop everywhere."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Huh. Okay then, you're good!"
>
> ========================================================================
>
> ~~~~~~~~~Elsewhere in time and space:~~~~~~~~~
>
> Eternity tocks, "They participate in this charity thing called the FF5
>    Four Job Fiesta. It's a yearly thing in which you sign up and are
>    handed four jobs, one from each crystal. You have to be using all the
>    jobs available to you at any given time, and you're limited to those
>    four jobs for the whole playthrough."
>
> Gail Kilcrop <3
>
> Eternity ticks, "The idea being to stream it, usually."
>
> Eternity tocks, "If your first-crystal job is Berserker, you're off to
>    a really good start! But if you get White Mage... you miiiight be a
>    little bit fucked. o3o"
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Maia suddenly feels incredibly offended.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic ???
>
> Maia says, "I feel as if someone just stated something horrible against
>    my namesake."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Which one?"
>
> Maia says, "White Mage."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic ahhhhhhhs. Patpats. "You should write a sternly worded
>    letter."
>
> Maia heads to the Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Et-Cetera-Basement.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Maia comes in from the Space-Time Nexus.
>
> Maia has arrived.
>
> Maia dropped Sternly Worded Letter.
>
> Maia heads to the Space-Time Nexus.
>
> Maia has left.
>
> Gail Kilcrop XD
>
> To who it may concern,
> 	I feel as if you have stated something horrible against my namestack
> 	as a White Mage. Let it be known.
> 	  -Maia, The White Mage
>
> Sarabi says, "What's a namestack?"
>
> Spear candies, "Terny, I think that poorly worded letter is for you."
>
> Eternity hm. "Seems it is."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Maia comes in from the Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Et-Cetera-Basement.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Very good! Now your namestack will be
>    defended."
>
> Maia says, "Name stack"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "You know, like a bunch of names on top of each
>    over. Wobbly, maybe gonna fall over...?"
>
> Maia says, "Some sort of jenga thing?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Sure!"
>
> A booming, female voice echoes through the halls of the LNH Rented
>    Office Space. "White Mage is a good class. It is not a good class for
>    *everyone in your party to be*, however."
>
> Maia blinks, "The heck? Hey thats only slightly better!"
>
> Genesis says, "...the hell was that?"
>
> Maia considers playing a full white mage run just to prove that booming
>    voice wrong!
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, I think Maia is arguing with one of the
>    Writers. I mean Players. I mean, swamp gas."
>
> Genesis says, "You can just say 'one of the higher-ups', I get it."
>
> Maia says, "Gosh darned swamp gas."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "That works too."
>
> Genesis says, "You guys both realize the nearest swamp is about a
>    hundred miles away, right?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Wow, it must be *really* gassy!"
>
> Genesis :I
>
> Maia says, "You do realize that I broke a hole in reality like a few
>    days ago, right?"
>
> Maia says, "So for right now, I'm assuming the red triangles on my
>    jacket are portals and I should be scared of them. Its been pretty
>    annoying not being able to use my triangle pockets."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "I thought this was about a month after the
>    flashback."
>
> Maia says, "A few days is within the scope of a month!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Thirty is SO not a few!"
>
> Genesis says, "Well, yeah. I also know there's a standardized
>    classification system for universal streams."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "So it could be emenations from Earth-Swamp."
>
> Maia says, "Does that mean I can use my triangle pockets then?"
>
> Genesis grabs a quarter and puts it in one of Maia's pockets.
>
> Genesis says, "If you can pull it out, you'll probably be fine."
>
> Maia stares at Jacket, looks at quarter on the floor, "I think I might
>    just need to get this jacket fixed. Are there any like. Super
>    Tailors?
>
> Genesis says, "You could probably just find a regular one, since that's
>    a regular jacket. We've got a costume-repair fund, actually."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "I found it down the back of the couch! <3"
>
> Genesis shakes a can of coins. There's a label taped to it. Written in
>    sharpie is "Costume Repair Fund" in Kid E's handwriting.
>
> Maia says, "But it'd be so cool if I could get my triangles to be
>    really cool pockets!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh man. But what if you kept, like, really huge
>    weapons in there? And you could pull it out all like YOINK! Haha,
>    Mister Nastybad, didn't see THIS coming!"
>
> Genesis says, "That'd require some moebius weaving. Not in the budget
>    right now."
>
> Genesis, buzzkill. :I
>
> Maia considers, "I think that whole character sheet schtick makes it
>    better if I stick to this weapon. I was thinking more like this one
>    could be a flash drive and this one could be a box of bandaids and
>    this one could be a smoke bomb!
>
> Genesis says, "Sorta like a utility belt built into the hem of your
> jacket?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oooooh, good point."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "It's like a '90s-y leather jacket, but you
>    actually look cute!"
>
> Maia says, "Yeah! Although I think I'm supposed to be heal spec'd so
>    like, maybe an over the counter dispensery?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hmmmmm! Like, painkillers and stuff?"
>
> Maia says, "Or that medicine you take to avoid flight sickness! And the
>    umm. Top triangles should probably be candy. Or flowers!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Or like. Oxygen pills!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "...are those a real thing?"
>
> Genesis says, "...probably."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, and like, that anti-radiation medicine."
>
> Maia says, "You guys need anti-radiation medicine that often? Wait, I'd
>    probably need to get like. Plastic or something sewn in for that."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Well, I mean, just in case."
>
> Maia says, "Kid you're always playing with that thing, can it do
>    anything to my outfit thats cool?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic uhhhhhh.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic takes the thing that looks like a remote control with
>    a tiny satellite dish sticking out and cranks the eggbeater handle on
>    the side.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "I don't think so. Is your shirt electronic?"
>
> Genesis says, "What's that do?"
>
> Maia says, "I saw a stall at the mall once that had electronic
>    shirts."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "It's supposed to control electronic systems.
>    Right now it mostly screws with them."
>
> Maia says, "...That reminds me!"
>
> Maia checks her phone, "I haven't been getting any calls. Think its
>    cause of the whole like. Shift thing?
>
> Genesis says, "You'll prooobably want to get a new plan, yeah."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Ooooooooh."
>
> Maia stares at the phone, "I wasn't paying for my own plan before."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Man. But just think about it. A slightly
>    different set of technologies. o.o"
>
> Genesis says, "I'm not sure it's even that."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "...but I bet it is!"
>
> Genesis says, "Her phone's just not recognized because it's not in the
>    phone company's database as having a plan, really. Though that IS
>    pretty interesting..."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Maia!"
>
> Maia hands it over to Kid, "I'm using this as an excuse to get a phone
>    to fit my motif then."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic cackles fiendishly, which is a bit weird coming out of
>    a ten-year-old. "Oh man. What if there's something in here we can get
>    a patent on?"
>
> Genesis says, "E, what did I say last time?"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Close the refrigerator, we're not made of
>    money?"
>
> Genesis says, "No, the other thing."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "But I wouldn't be exploting the lack of
>    inter-universal patent law for my *own* profit! It'd be for the
>    *team*!"
>
> Maia says, "Genesis, you know this place pretty good, right? Wheres
>    there a tailor and a phone shop I could check out?" She's already
>    practically at the door."
>
> Genesis says, "It still counts. Feel free to cannibalize the phone for
>    your gadgets as long as it's okay with Maia, but no selling
>    technology that hasn't ever been invented here."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic grumps. "Boooo."
>
> Genesis pulls up Google Maps and points out a couple of good places for
>    both. Including, to her surprise, a combination tailor shop/Sprint
>    outlet.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Huh. Convenient!"
>
> Maia says, "That seems oddly conveinent."
>
> Maia pulls Kid to the side and whispers, "I want seventy percent."
>
> Genesis says, "...was there really a demand for tha--HEY I HEARD THAT"
>
> Maia says, "Kid run she's on to us!"
>
> Maia runs out the door with a jingle.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Woo-woo-woo-woo!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic escapes into the rafters.
>
> Maia climbs in through the window, prints off the Google Maps results,
>    then climbs back out the window.
>
> ~~~A day and a half later~~~~~~
>
> Maia boop boops on a touchtone flip-phone, her outfit seeming it might
>    have an absurd more amount of zippers than before.
>
> Genesis says, "If that thing weren't so cute, it'd be, like... /maybe/
>    a step below Liefeld."
>
> Maia says, "You're just jealous that my cosplay ability got me a
>    photography job."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic has a jeweler's loupe in one eye and a voltimeter in
>    one hand.
>
> Genesis says, "...maybe a little, yeah."
>
> Genesis says, "I mean, come on, I've got actual combat armor made from
>    actual alien alloys!"
>
> Maia says, "And Final Fantasy is apparently an eternal cosmic constant
>    that everyone loves."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic squints while he talks. "You should insert yourself
>    into an alternate universe's culture as fiction, then go over there
>      and win all the contests."
>
> Maia softly says to Genesis, "Are we allowed to do that?"
>
> Genesis says, "Thaaat sounds suspiciously supervillainy yet typically
>    Kid E. No."
>
> Genesis looks over at the young boy. "Whatcha doing? Counting bits?"
>
> Maia ended up getting flowers and herbs used by witch doctors to go
>    into her neck triangles.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Actually! I'm examining the battery connectors.
>    It's fascinating, it loses twenty percent less power to heat
>    dissipation and waste!"
>
> Kid Enthusiastic also, witch doctors, really
>
> Maia what they smell nice.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic well yeah it's just not a very accurate term
>
> Maia fine plague doctors.
>
> Kid Enthusiastic ...oh you meant
>
> <OOC> Maia imagines that this entire conversation has been like. An odd
> mix of interprative dance and facial expression.
>
> <OOC> Kid Enthusiastic :D
>
> Maia flips through her contacts list, "Tailor, Maia, Kid, Genesis,
>    Photographer, Convienence Shop Owner, the same tailor. ....I really
>    don't know anyone here do I."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Maybe there's an alternate you!"
>
> Maia says, "I wonder if she'd date me that'd be pretty cool."
>
> Kid Enthusiastic says, "Huh. I guess dating yourself is probably either
>    super awesome or super terrible!"
>
> Maia says, "I dunno, I think I'd be a good date."
>
> ========================================================================
> Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, THE AMAZING POWER OF JUST KIND OF
> TRAILING OFF!

Funny thing about interactive fiction...  anyone can play!

Now featuring:

SCOTT EILER as Psychovant the Duck!  8{D>

Psychovant says, "So, you argued over finances, you argued with Higher
    Power, Maia discovered zippers, and, err, what?  People used to call
    *my* Writer on his diary entries thinly disguised as stories, before
    he chucked it and started cartooning.  What's all this then?"

-- 
(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

When you *are* the leader... whatever goes wrong... whether you did it
or not... *you* are held responsible. - Barack Obama

I know. - Archie Andrews

- from Archie #617, March 2011, scripted by Alex Simmons.