[NTB/LNH/HCC] Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #57

[Andrew Perron]

On Tue, 31 Dec 2013 02:55:36 +0000 (UTC), Saxon Brenton wrote:
    
>   []                       
>   [] egion of              
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>   [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes  Volume 2 #57
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> has *once again* been highjacked to present another of the 
>      
>                      MISANTHROPIC TALES
>                           OF THE 
>                    NET.TRENCHCOAT BRIGADE

YAY

>      As a professional anarchist dedicated to raising humanity's 
> consciousness,

That's pretty damn NTB.

>      Ring Job reached out and picked up the scotch bottle and held 
> it up to the light.  A golden brown colour filtered through the whiskey. 
> Richly hued, and warmly coloured.  Warm and fuzzy.  Just like the 
> thinking of most of humanity.  Poor stupid bastards.

Very good self-righteousness there.

>      And besides, it would give him the excuse to be a foul mouthed, 
> chain smoking, hard drinking bastard, and that was always a lot of fun.

That is also pretty damn NTB.

>      Ring Job glanced at the sky.  "Aye, a bit," he said.  "I'll 
> pr'bably have to pack it in soon."  Then he looked back at the canvas 
> again and smiled.  "Still, she's a beauty, ain't she?"
>      The cop followed the direction of his gaze, saw the canvas, and was 
> caught.  The colours glowed - in fact the entire picture pulsed with an 
> interior light.
>      And then, while the man was staring enthralled at the picture, Ring 
> Job deftly reached over and stole the gun from his holster and then 
> ambled off into the crowd.

Oh, very nice. Prep time FTW.

>      It was evening.  Ring Job opened the skylight to the Hollywood 
> warehouse and then tested the rope and harness that he planned to use to 
> lower himself down to the floor below.  There was no magically symbolic 
> need to enter the warehouse this way - and the security on the doors was 
> pretty mediocre in any case, to be honest - but Ring Job just liked the 
> Mission Impossible style entrances.

Awwwwww. <3 Very good.

>      The tiny box was empty of course.  But that was okay, because it 
> had been empty when it had appeared in 'Mork's First Christmas'.  Sure, 
> the dialogue had *said* it had contained homemade presents of hand 
> painted flies, but there hadn't been any close up shot and in any case 
> the purported flies had been forgotten when the eponymous alien had 
> learned that mere material things weren't the point of giving Christmas 
> gifts.
>      So.  An empty box, that had only pretended to hold something, 
> which had represented a useless gift for fictional people who would 
> learn better.  It was absolutely perfect.

This is fascinating. o.o I love these kinds of magic systems.

> Then the hero announced, "Surrender!  I, 
> You're-Not-Hitting-Me-Hard-Enough Lad, am taking you in!" before 
> leaping forward with a superhuman bound.

YES! YNHMHELad on the job!

(I, or someone, really needs to do a Kid E/NTB story. Clash of
perspectives!)

>      Then Ring Job ran for it.  He even tried to keep the impromptu 
> cover he had created for himself by throwing in an obligatory villainous 
> "Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!", but his ribs hurt too much for him to be able to 
> pull it off properly.

Heeheehee.

>      Now that he'd committed himself Ring Job moved with deliberation.  
> He went to a mirror and took off the Nagahame mask (even though for 
> magical purposes he was still wearing it) and looked at his rings.  
> Almost every bit of Ring Job's exposed flesh had a piercing.  They 
> all had some purpose.  Many of them had a symbolic meaning, and quite 
> a few of them had some sort of special power.

Hmmmmm. Fascinating.

>      And the next day, pretty much everybody around the planet got some 
> little thing that - on a deeply metaphysical level - they needed, even 
> if they didn't particularly want it and maybe even could have really done 
> without it on a practical level.  Just because it was good didn't mean 
> it had to be nice.

Awwwww. That's sweet, or at least, as sweet as the NTB gets.

>      Huh, well what do you know.  A 'Misanthropic Tales...' story 
> starring a Brigade member who's actually appeared in a story within the 
> past half decade, rather than being dredged out of the original _Wrath 
> Of The Administrator_ cascade or the NTB FAQ.

I know, right?

>      Actually, the main reason for this story is because I initially 
> thought that we were lacking in an entry for the NTB imprint in the 
> list of Looniverse RACCies eligibles for 2013.  However feedback on 
> the first posting of that list in early December, plus double checking 
> subject headers, indicates that this is wrong.  So now we're simply 
> having another NTB story for... uhm... for the Net.Trenchcoat Brigades' 
> 20th anniversary.

Woo! <3

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, picnic time