MISC: Spies With Badges: "Junior Spies: Spell of the Unknown"

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Tue Feb 25 13:16:07 PST 2014

Steffan Alun knows what he did. May Heaven forgive him. Or may not.


Once, in the dark days when Doctor Who was forgotten and Homestuck did 
not yet exist, there was a school that trained kids to become Junior 

Emilia Octavian's backpack had seven and three-quarters Junior Spy 
Patches. It was now or never.

The Junior Spies and the Child Spies stood in rows side by side. 
Between them was the product of all that kidspy ingenuity could 
construct: A giant slingshot.

Jayden Cunningham, Junior Nice Mad Scientist, stood next to the control 
stick. He was the only one who could have calculated the precise 
slingshottiness. He saluted as she climbed up into the slingseat.

She looked around. Everyone was there... everyone except Miss Steve. 

The Child Spies and the Junior Spies took the giant rubber band and 
pulled it far, far back, as far as it would go. She was ready.

"Three... two... one!"

They all let go and she shot forward in time through the back of time. 
She flew through to the point where the skeleton of her future ran out, 
past her first seven lives and into the Unknown, the terminus past 
which where this takes place in relation to other stories becomes 
meaningless. Irony imploded with a rattling cough.

Then with a ZERSWUSH she was there. She was Time-Traveling Past Emilia 
Octavian (Not Yet a Full Spy), in front of Emilia the Spy and Boss 
Charlie With an Eyepatch.

She looked herself in the eye. "Why?"

Emilia the Spy sat down on the floor. She crossed her legs like they 
did in elementary school. "Once in the Long Ago there was a great 

"His greatness was measured in his deeds. He brought peace, making the 
tribes realize that they could compete in more interesting ways. He 
created great public works, building roads and irrigation and free 
schools for the public. He made a great patronage of both art and 

"And he kept seven upon seven upon seven thousand people in endless, 
generational slavery. The angels did not change this. The spies did not 
stop this. It was not their fight."

She looked herself in the eye. "Just because someone is doing great 
things does not mean they are not also making terrible mistakes. And 
just because someone is making terrible mistakes does not mean they are 
not capable of great things."

And with that, Emilia's Geopolitical Paradigm changed. But she did not 
become Emilia the Spy.

The future broke apart around her and the rushing vacuum of time drew 
her back to her starting point. The children stood around her, no 
longer Junior Spies, no longer Child Spies.

She took out her seven and three-quarters Spy Patches and set them on 
the ground. The children linked hands in a great circle.

She held up her sneakers. "Junior Spies are the junior angels of 

Because of Katie the Journalist.

"But we do not have to be earthly. We do not have to be divine."

Because of the Tumbleweed Badge.

"We choose to shine in the light of other stars."

Because of the rabbit.

"Dragons are neither spies nor angels, and we choose to be dragons!"

The pink sparkly light burst across the playground, and in a radiant 
cloud born of the dreams of children fulfilled, the College of Dragons 
rose into the sky.

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