8FOLD/HCC: Nonfiction # 2 (part 1), "Other Life"

Tom Russell joltcity at gmail.com
Tue Feb 4 18:15:25 PST 2014


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 == NUMBER 2 PT 1 = OTHER LIFE == BY TOM RUSSELL =====[102]==


FIVE YEARS AGO TOMORROW
Posted Friday 06-22-2013; 4 comments

Tomorrow is my "anniversary". Regular readers of the blog (all three
of you) will know that means I'm probably not going to be posting too
much this weekend.


SO, THE GORGON'S BACK
Posted Tuesday 07-02-2013; 19 comments

Firstly, I didn't intend to be away for so long. Part of the point of
keeping this blog is to do it regularly, so that I have a routine, a
thing I do every morning. There's a reason for that, and I'll be
coming back to that (if you haven't guessed already, the title of this
post has something to do with it).

Before that, though, I'll talk about the twenty-third. It was... okay.
I didn't do a whole lot. I didn't talk to anybody, of course, I never
do on my anniversary. And, no, I didn't leave my apartment. I know, I
know-- I thought I'd be able to do it this year. Maybe next year.

But I also didn't spend the whole day moping. I remembered to turn on
the lights. I opened the blinds. Listened to some music. It probably
sounds depressing and it probably is, but last year I didn't even get
out of bed and I just cried the whole time, shivering and hugging
myself. I didn't cry. I didn't shiver. It's a baby step, but it's a
step.

I was really proud of myself, all things considered, and I was looking
forward to sharing it with you on the Monday after. But when I powered
up my PC I saw that bit about the Gorgon resurfacing. I immediately
shut my computer down, and I didn't turn it on again until last night.

And the last week or so, well, it's been really rough. You have to
understand, the internet has been my only safe place for the last
three years. It's been the only way I've been able to talk to people.
The only way I can engage with the world. So you take that away, and I
don't feel safe anymore. At all. I couldn't leave my apartment,
couldn't go into work. (I'm probably going to get fired again.)

On Wednesday morning I woke up from a really bad dream. I don't
remember what it was, but I was so disturbed by it that I shut myself
up in my closet. I just sat there crouched with my shirts about my
face, holding my breath, hoping no one knew I was alive. I ended up
soiling myself and I sat in that for about an hour before I could
bring myself to open the door.

I don't want to get into the whole story. But like I said it was bad.
It made me realize that I'm not so strong after all. I've been working
hard the last two years to dig myself out of this mess and all it took
was one headline on Google and I was right back where I started again,
maybe worse even.


NEW POLICY
Posted Thursday 07-04-2013; 0 comments

I am no longer accepting comments. Those of you who know me know why.


ON THE TAKING OF HINTS
Posted Friday 07-05-2013; 0 comments

One thing I forgot to mention re: my recent anniversary is that my
mother called, "to see how" I "was doing". She left a voicemail that
I'm sure she thought was supportive.

So about five minutes ago she called and left another message, wanting
to know why I never returned her call. I don't know, it could be the
same reason I haven't returned any of her calls for the last three
years.


MAYBE I SHOULD TRY NOT BREATHING
Posted Friday 07-05-2013; 0 comments

I read a terrifying article on Popular Science [link] about the
Tri-bot virus. I don't think they meant it to be terrifying. The main
focus is on how they developed the cure in a record-setting
forty-eight hours, and of course Darkhorse. It's all very "world's
best professionals worked tirelessly", etc.

It's not that I'm scared of getting the virus. I got my inoculation
like everyone else. And it's not what the virus can do, or how easy it
was to get, how fast it spread. I can sorta kinda handle all that. I
understand that diseases are a thing that exists in the world, that
viruses evolve and are living things. But those exist naturally,
right? The Tri-bot virus was made by the Tri-bots, and it was made to
kill humans. The fact that something wants us dead bad enough to
create a disease is staggering, overwhelming.

There's a quote in the article where a military source said he had
intelligence to the effect of the Tri-bots had studied the previous
invasions of Earth, and wanted to learn from the mistakes other aliens
had made. And that they had. It was a close run thing. And who is to
say the next time something invades, they won't have studied and
learned from the Tri-bots?

And I saw this infographic [link] about all previous full-scale alien
invasions, and how there have been more in the last ten years (four of
them!!!) then in the two hundred years before that. They're getting
closer together and they're getting worse.

TESTING
Posted Saturday 07-13-2013; 0 comments

One-two-three.

AN APPARENTLY VALID FEAR OF EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL
Posted Saturday 07-13-2013; 0 comments

You're probably wondering where I've been, and the answer is, I'm
still there, and it's not here. "Here" being where you are.

I've talked often before [category link] about my seemingly
pathological and unfounded fear of being sucked into a parallel
timeline. And, well, it happened. I think.

I don't remember how, just all of the sudden yesterday I found myself
sitting by myself in a McDonald's eating a chicken sandwich. I didn't
remember going in. I never go into McDonald's, haven't for over a
year. There are always just too many people. So, me being there is
weird enough, but not know how I got there, just finding myself
mid-mastication? It really freaked me out. So I stepped outside, and
it got a thousand times worse. I didn't know where I was at all. I
wasn't anywhere near home. Turns out I was in Detroit, which I've
never been to before, and, yeah, knowing me, I never would go there.

I tried calling those few that laughably call me their friend, but
none of their numbers worked. Some of them, it was the wrong number. I
even called my mom. Some old guy answered the phone.

I went to a public library and used their internet. None of my
favorite sites even existed anymore. More to the point, neither did I:
my e-mail address, my Facebook, none of it registers.

Except apparently this blog. Small comfort there.

NO TITLE
Posted Monday 07-15-2013; 0 comments

Sorry for cutting the last post short. Some annoying library man came
up and asked me to leave because of my "hygiene". You remember how I
didn't know when or how I ended up in that strange McDonald's? I also
can't remember much since, well, since my post on the fifth. So I
don't know how long I've been walking around in the same clothes
without washing.

I found a shelter. They let me take a shower and gave me a change of
clothes. Not great clothes, of course, but clean clothes. They sent me
out the next morning-- they only let you stay there during the night.
I was hoping I'd find someplace else to stay, but long story short, I
was back on Sunday night.

I guess more than one of the shelter workers noticed that I was more
than a little out of place there, because this morning they took me
aside and said as much. It didn't look like I was a drinker or a drug
addict. They wanted to know if I was a runaway, if I was a dropout.
Which was kinda flattering, being that I'm pushing up against thirty.

I explained that I came from a different universe, that I suddenly
found myself in this one, and that none of my friends or family seem
to exist. It was clear from the pained glances they gave one another
but tried to hide from me that they thought I was crazy. And not crazy
like parallel universe displacement was rare, but crazy like it didn't
exist at all. It made matters worse when I asked if they could direct
me to the nearest FCL to see if they could get me back home.

"What's an FCL?" they asked, but almost like they were dreading the
answer. I told them. Instead of that pitying look, they just looked
confused. Then they asked what a four-colour was. I told them, and it
was right back to pity. Like I had revealed another layer of my sad
delusion.

When I left in the morning, I went back to the library (obviously;
that's where I'm posting this from). I wanted to post this first. Now
I'm going to try to find a way home, and failing that, a new place to
stay, because I'm worried the shelter people might try to get me
"help", and it's not the kind of help I need.

NO HEROES
Posted Tuesday 07-16-2013; 0 comments

It took me a while to realize it, but: there are no superheroes here.
I mean, they have a concept of the superhero, and their culture is
actually up to their necks in it, superhero movies, superhero TV,
books, etc., but it's all fiction. They don't have actual superheroes.
There's no one to save me. If I had a closet, I would lock myself in
it right about now.

I DON'T EXIST
Posted Thursday 07-18-2013; 0 comments

The worst part about being a refuge from a parallel universe isn't
that I'll never see my friends or family again, it's that I never
existed. My social security number isn't mine; it belongs to someone
else. There's no record of my birth. I have no references. YOU try to
make a fresh start at my age without any information.

And I'm not even trying to do that, to start over with my life. I
really just want to not be a starving homeless person while I'm
waiting for... well, whatever it is that I'm waiting for.

I've been applying for jobs, and looking for places to stay that won't
mind the rent being late for the first month or so. As I hinted at
above, the jobs have been a total wash. I can't put down my high
school or college, because as near as I can tell, my hometown doesn't
even exist here. There'd be no one for them to call or contact. And no
references.

The roof over the head thing might be going a little bit better... at
least, I have a place to stay tonight. Maybe. The guy kinda gives me
the creeps, so I might just ditch and go back to the shelter. Of
course, I'm also asking him to trust a total stranger not to murder
him in his sleep, so I guess it's only fair that I trust him not to do
the same.

APPARENTLY I'M HILARIOUS
Posted Saturday 07-19-2013; 0 comments

So the guy I'm staying with is named Joel. He has this friend Dosh who
was over this morning. Dosh was going on and on about alien abductions
and black helicopters, and Joel was just kinda rolling his eyes the
whole time.

And innocently, out of curiosity, I asked Dosh how many full-scale
alien invasions there had been in recent history. And to you and me
where we come from, this is a legitimate concern. Not so much here;
Joel just burst out laughing. Not with me, at Dosh. Like I had
"burned" him. Joel said something about my dry wit, and I guess I did
a decent job playing it off that way, because it never occurred to
either of them that I was serious.

And also apparently there have been zero alien invasions, no
officially-documented visits, no evidence of hostility in this
universe. At least not yet.

THE SAME, BUT DIFFERENT
Posted Sunday 07-20-2013; 0 comments

So I guess this would be an interesting reoccurring feature for the
blog: things that are in both this world and my home timeline, but a
little different.

First up is Edward Snowden. He exists here, just like he does back
home. And he leaked a bunch of government documents, just like back
home. And you have people calling him a hero and people calling him a
villain. Okay, so that's the part that's the same.

What's different is, this Snowden guy got himself hired into the CIA
specifically to leak a bunch of documents about the NSA. Whereas where
I come from, Snowden's the guy that got himself hired into the CIA
specifically to unmasked almost all the important heroes.

The funny thing is, the people who are for him and the people who are
against him seem to be in about the same proportion here as back home.

GAINFULLY EMPLOYED
Posted Tuesday 07-21-2013; 0 comments

It's sketchy but it's legal, mostly, and nothing I'm ashamed of doing.
One of Joel's friends was kind enough to hook me up. Doesn't pay
great. Plus side, it's not customer service, and I don't have to
handle other people's money.

I HAD AN ACCIDENT
Posted Thursday 07-23-2013; 1 comment

First let me say that I'm okay.

On the way home from my second day of work, Joel and I got in a car
accident. We were merging onto the freeway when this big semi-truck
hit us on Joel's side. The car got flipped over onto the grass and was
smashed up something awful.

[Photo]

I immediately went into full panic mode. I mean, I would, right? For
the first year after my last car accident, I couldn't get into a car
without going a little nuts. I was hyperventilating, making weird
little sobbing noises, the whole works.

And Joel put his hand on my arm and said, are you okay. Meaning was I
injured. And he said it a few times, and slowly I realized that I
wasn't. Miraculously, neither of us were. No broken bones, no
bleeding, nothing but a little stiffness that wouldn't show up until
this morning.

We're both fine, said Joel, so there's nothing to get this upset
about. He wasn't patronizing about it. Very calming. Very matter of
fact.

And he was right, as far as car accidents go, this wasn't anything to
get upset about. My last car accident, I was in the hospital for
months. I had almost died. I wasn't hit by a truck then; a demigod had
picked up my car and threw it into the side of a building thirty-four
yards away. So, hit by a huge semi-truck that should have killed us
but left us none the worse for wear? That was okay. More than okay.

More than that, it was normal. Maybe not the whole not-a-scratch-on-us
part. But it was a truck, and it was physics, Newtonian laws, speed
and force. No demigods, no flying, no battle. There are no demigods
here. No villains bent on conquest. No genocidal computer programs. No
clones of Hitler, or of anybody. No alien diseases, weaponized or
otherwise. The worst terrorists we have here are maybe al-Qaeda, and
they're on the wane, and nothing like F.E.V.E.R.

After the paramedics checked us out, Joel said I must have super-luck
powers. And that made me insanely happy. Not because I'm crushing on
him (I'm not), or because it was a compliment, or even that I was glad
we were so lucky, or that I thought he was right. I was glad because I
knew he was wrong. Super-powers? No such thing.

===

(C) COPYRIGHT 2014 TOM RUSSELL


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