LNH/HCC: Another LNH Title? Really? #2, "Analogue State"

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Aug 6 15:53:37 PDT 2014

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                           <    MASHUP  LAQ     >
              < FAIRY PRINCESS LAD >   <     AND FUZZY     >

                           #2: "Analogue State"
                             by Andrew Perron
                    Part of High Concept Challenge 47!


Net.power is in your heart!
Moving fearlessly into the future; obviously you'll reach the goal;
Everybody knows what you're feeling; it's cheesy but it's joyous
We're all just weirdos on the Internet
And that's what brings us together.
We don't need to be protected
By hitting hard or running fast
Our silly personalities are our strengths!
Net.Heroes Forever! I'll pick out my own name
We'll pick up the keyboard and write our own fates
Net.Heroes Forever! Even if it's a joke
A new legend begins at this very moment.
La La Comely Internet HERO LOON


A giant robot is attacking the Quantum Computing Lab at 'Boontown
University! And the Legion of Net.Heroes is there!

Fuzzy, the senior member, leads the way! "It looks like a RoboMAC - it's
reacting too fast to be a manually piloted suit."

Fairy Princess Lad and Mashup Laq, the newbies, bring up the rear!
"That's definitely a human voice, though!" said FPL, shifting the story
into past tense.

"Ha ha ha!" The robot was modeled to look like a balding man in a three-
piece suit. It grabbed one of the tanks that were defending the building
and shook it, intelligent primate soldiers spilling out onto their
butts. "The foul stench of your indeterminism will be washed away by...
Senator Binary!"

Fuzzy grimaced. "Oh, lord. Not this guy again."

"Again?" questioned Mashup Laq, cocking their head.

Fuzzy shook her head and sighed. "'Senator Binary' is one of my old
enemies. Gimmicky idiot whose schtick is putting things into sharply-
defined binary categories. One thing or the other." She lifted her
flight.thingee ring in the air and took off, floating towards the robot.

Mashup Laq and Fairy Princess Lad followed. FPL already had wings, so he
didn't need rings. "Binary... I bet it's some kinda pun on robots."

"Wait, I've heard about this," said Mashup Laq. "I'm doing an elective
in Cybernetic Systems, and there's a newly-developed manner of direct
brain-computer interface that results in faster-than-human reflexes on a
larger-than-human scale. He's probably joined directly with that

"Oh, really," said Fuzzy, thoughtfully. She pulled a science-fictiony
pistol out of her pocket.

"Yes - I believe it's a form of binary bonding."

In the distance, they could hear a short drum roll followed by a splash
cymbal and a rimshot.

The three dove at the robot. Mashup Laq wove a distracting pattern in
front of its optics, while Fairy Princess Lad laid down a layer of
calming fairy dust. Fuzzy let loose a blast of ionic energy to scramble
its circuits.

Senator Binary roared "Incoherent fools!" and swiped at the net.heroes.
Mashup Laq just barely dodged the giant chrome hand. "Indecisive
nitwits! My newly-acquired might will settle you once and for all!"

They peeled away to regroup. "So... is he an actual senator?" asked
Fairy Princess Lad.

Fuzzy laughed. "Of course not. Who'd vote for that nutbag? It's like
being Baron von Whatev--"

SKPOW! The edge of an energy blast grazed Fuzzy's form. Stunned, she
fell through the air.

"Ha ha ha!" exulted Senator Binary. "Alive or dead, net.hero!"

"Fuzzy!" Mashup Laq executed a perfect power dive. They grabbed Fuzzy's
indistinct form and used the flight.thingee to slow their shared
momentum until they could lay her on the ground.

FPL landed next to them. "Is she okay!?"

Mashup Laq did a quick check of vitals. "She's breathing. Steady pulse.
Hard to tell anything else." They looked up at the robot. "Fairy
Princess Lad, what are your powers?"

"Um, I don't think they've been *completely* defined yet, but there's
the flight and fairy dust, and also my special attacks - Midsummer
Millennium Heart Blitz, and Dreamfire Genesis Rhapsody Arpeggio."

Mashup Laq stood there for a moment, silently sounding out "Dreamfire
Genesis...?" They shook their head, and said, "Okay, so you and Fuzzy
are neutral to each other - not conceptually similar, but not
conceptually opposed, either." They rolled up their sleeves. "It'll have
to do."

FPL's mouth formed an "O". "You're gonna do the thing!"

ML nodded and held out their hand. FPL took it. They pressed their other
hand to Fuzzy and said, "By your powers combined, I am..."

There was a flash. When it ended, Mashup Laq was standing up straight.
Their labcoat had gone bright pink, and they were surrounded by a nimbus
of light, with an effect like vaseline smeared on a camera lens.

ML/Sparkly blasted off into the air, a trail of glitter streaming out
behind them. Senator Binary blasted away at them, but missed, Sparkly's
out-of-focus field making it hard to aim.

They zoomed around and around the giant robot. Fairy Princess Lad's
attacks were of the stock-footage kind - one use per battle, maybe two
if they really needed to stretch the animation budget. It would be best
if he could target some sort of weak point.

They struggled to remember any more details about the cybernetic bonding
process. Did it have a weakness, some aspect that could... wait.

Could it really be that simple? Sparkly/Mashup Laq shrugged. Well, it
was worth a try!

They zoomed up towards the robot's head, being careful to keep moving.
"Hey, Senator Binary!" they yelled. "I've got a question with only two

"Two, you say!?" rumbled the robotic miscreant. "Well, out with it!"

"The question is, if you've got cybernetic devices in your brain-- are
you a robot... or are you human??"

"--!" Senator Binary twitched. Little puffs of smoke came out of the
giant robot's carefully-machined ears. "Er, both! No, wait, neither!
That is to say--"

"Fairy Princess Lad, now!" they shouted.

Fairy Princess Lad pulled out his twinkling magic wand. "Midsummer..."
He spun around and around. "Millenium..." He spun in tighter and tighter
circles. "Heart..." He suddenly stopped, raising the wand in the air and
letting a giant destructive magical beam blast out. "Blitz!"

The beam sheared off the robot's arms and legs, letting the torso and
head fall with a KERWHUMP! into the ground. "...i say..." muttered the
dazed Senator.

Mashup Laq landed on the ground, and the Sparkly persona faded away.
"Well done!"

"Awesome!" said Fairy Princess Lad, and they high-fived.

"Now let's get Fuzzy to the infirmary!"

"That is a really good idea!"



Author's Note: I'm not sure if it's Fuzzy or Senator Binary saying "ow"
at the end there. Probably it is both.

To clarify Mashup Laq's powers: They can touch someone to store their
powers in their database, but once they're used in a mashup, they'd need
to touch that person again to use the powers again.

Senator Binary is Free For Use. (As are Mashup Laq and Fairy Princess
Lad.) I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually have any powers, though maybe
his cybernetic implants count now? Maybe he wants to get more of those?
Whatever, go crazy!

"Loon Pride" is, of course, a sort of free-verse filk of the Sailor Moon
Crystal theme, "Moon Pride". It's a good show, you guys!

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, you can watch it online!

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