LNHY: Biblical Avengers #1: Biblical Avengers Assemble!

Scott Eiler seiler at eilertech.com
Thu Apr 3 18:30:01 PDT 2014

On 4/1/2014 9:31 PM, April White wrote:

> Christ reappeared in Jerusalem.  There he saw Moses and Noah trying
> to apprehend Sampson.  Each of them held one of Sampson's arms.
> "Stop!" Christ said.  "I command you!"
> "Who are you?" Moses asked.
> "I am Jesus Christ!  The son of God!"
> "There is only one god!" Noah said.
> "Indeed!" Moses said.  "And he doesn't dress like that!"
> Sampson's anger intensified and he was able to get free of Noah and
> Moses.  "Sampson smash!" he said as he ran towards Jesus.
> Seeing Sampson run at him, Jesus Christ spoke his own name.

heh.  I think it makes Jesus happy to be at least as popular as Thor in 
every single way.  8{D>  But I think you spell it "Samson".  8{C>

As the writer who introduced Satanic superheroes to the LNH universes 
(ref. "Devil Legion"), I had better skip the other theological aspects 
of this comic.  But I can still jump in with fanboy commentary...  What 
powers do the Bible Avengers have?

*  Noah, of course, is a beastmaster.  Think "Aquaman", only with every 
landborne species.  And his expected lifespan is 900+ years.  So he's 
probably at least as rugged as Aquaman too.

*  Moses only lives 140 years or so.  (Don't make me look it up.)  But 
he has a magic staff and can summon plagues.  The trouble is, if he uses 
all his powers, governments will treat him like a supervillain.

*  Samson, well, we all know him already.

*  Jesus has an interesting drawback:  his powers are at least sometimes 
limited if people don't believe in them.  And let's not forget, 
governments *did* treat him like a supervillain.

There's just one thing missing from this series:  a female Bible Avenger!

(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

When you *are* the leader... whatever goes wrong... whether you did it
or not... *you* are held responsible. - Barack Obama

I know. - Archie Andrews

- from Archie #617, March 2011, scripted by Alex Simmons.

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