LNH20/HCC: Kung-Fu Holmes # 3

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Tue Sep 24 05:11:17 PDT 2013

On Wed, 28 Aug 2013 23:22:15 +0000 (UTC), Tom Russell wrote:

>    "What other mysteries can you decipher through your keen powers of
> observation, deduction, and inference?" sniveled Cyborg Boswell.
>    "The animal in question is a rodent of unusual size," said Kung-Fu
> Holmes. "And her name is Matilda."
>    "I ordered it. Online. The package was scheduled to arrive today. This
> is my new pet, Matilda Briggs, a giant rat of Sumatra."


>    "So you did, Holmes!"
>    "Allegedly."
>    "So you didn't, Holmes," said Cyborg Boswell.

This is like screwball comedy level dialogue. <3

>    "If it's just a matter of filling the cage, you needn't have the rat. I
> could live in the cage. Then I could be with you always. I would never have
> to go home."
>    "Yes, well, that's not terrifying at all," said Kung-Fu Holmes.

What even the hell. XD

>    "Murder! In LNHHQ?"
>    "I'm almost certain it's the work of Murder Lad," said Kung-Fu Holmes.
> "Honestly, I don't know why they let that guy in. About as sensible as
> Knife-Throwing Man."

My question for future stories: Is there a Murder Lad? If so, what are his
powers, and his personality?

    "Still farther! For your own safety! For when I clench my fist and it
begins to glow, it becomes like unto a thing of potassium!"
>    He punched the door. Nothing happened.
    "Huh. I must have done that wrong. Maybe it becomes like unto a thing
of sodium?"
>    He punched the door again.
>    "Like unto a thing of praseodymium?"

I'm getting out of here before he gets past bismuth!

>    Matilda facepawed. Then she stared at the knife, considering the depth
> of its penetration and angle. She stared at the ceiling, noting the several
> knives stuck in it, then let her eyes slowly plummet down into his skull.
>    Matilda grabbed a penny from the desk, tossed it in the air, and let it
> hit her on the noggin. She did it again, and again.

More Matilda stories please!

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, wonders if she's related to the Giant
Sewer Rat.

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