LNH: One-Page Giant #3

[Andrew Perron]

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|           O N E           P A G E           G I A N T           | #3 |
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Who will be *your* - LNH Dream Date!

[ A nine-year-old girl with brown hair holds up a bunch of cards with 
LNHers on them in glamour-shot poses. ]

Collect Consumerism Tokens to buy outfits!

[ A redheaded girl holds up two cards with dresses ] 

Reveal your date's secret origin and see if they're an A-lister-- or 
the comic relief!

[ A blonde girl reads a card ] He got bitten by a radioactive platypus? 
Like, no way!

Get kidnapped for extra Peril Points! 

[ The redhead goes, ] "Uh-oh! Stuffed in a fridge! Lose a turn!"

Then press the Pop-o-Matic Hologram Projector to reveal the hero of 
your dreams!

[ The brunette pops up Ultimate Mercenary. ] "Aw, I got the dud!"

[ They all giggle and throw pillows. ]

"LNH Dream Date! Definitely not part of an evil plan to instill 
disturbingly monolithic and limited ideas of femininity, the role of a 
teenage girl in society, and the ultimate, inescapable necessity of 
having a man in your life via post-hypnotic signals!"

[ All three girls turn around and say, ] "This date is going to go 
*super*!"

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, sparkly plastic