GC: Correspondence With the Goddess #8: A Brisk Evening Jog

[mrnelson007 at gmail.com]

Hi everyone. I really need to get better about posting here more often.  Tumblr is getting further ahead of RACC, not closer!  That's never good.  As always, you can find everything over at http://goddesscorrespondence.tumblr.com if you don't want to wait on me to post over here. Probably best, really.  I can be so forgetful sometimes.

Also I added a new tag for myself, GC. Should be obvious enough, I think.  I hope that's not some sort of RACC faux pas.








Two months in, aren’t we? Wow. It’s never been easy to keep this sort of thing going for anyone, and Lydia in particular has always had some issues in that area. She’s been sort of flighty her whole life, losing interest and moving on from one project to another at the drop of a hat. I hope this is a sign that she’s maturing. But then, it might also just be that she’s rather bored. Hard to say.

I sincerely believe that Lydia was chosen for this, and I hope that she can get herself to a point where she deals with it responsibly…

- Elana

Wow. Eight whole letters. I feel like I’ve barely started, but I’ve been doing this for two months now.  I suppose there’s a lot to cover, but I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels regardless.

You know, I’ve been feeling pretty depressed lately.  Not sure why, but I’m just down.  Elana is constantly telling me to look on the bright side with this stuff, but I just have issues.  My brain doesn’t work that way, and it’s not something I can force.

Well, actually, I suppose I probably could.  I’m just really hesitant to go poking around inside my own brain and trying to fix things.  I have enough problems fixing other people. Trying to fix myself is an entirely different prospect, especially as a goddess or… whatever I am.  The last thing I need is to fuck with the part of my brain that keeps me from blowing up suns.  Kind of an issue, that.

But then, maybe I could find the thing that’s giving me all these powers and yank it out and be normal again. Wouldn’t that be nice?  So much less stressful. Maybe I should look into that stuff they were researching…

Of course, at this point, if I lost my powers, they would probably just kill me, right?  I mean, after all of this, there’s no way they would just let me go home and act normal.  Although sometimes even being dead sounds like an improvement over this.

Well, anyway.  No reason to make you all suffer my bad mood.  Back to the story, hm?

“Ugh, my head.” It was a couple of weeks later, and I was laying on the sofa, holding an ice pack to my forehead. “What is with these things anyway? Fuck this…”

“I thought you never get headaches?” Elana asked, looking up from her book and over at me. 

“I don’t.  …Usually.  This is different.” I insisted, adjusting my position to sit upright and see her better.  ”These aren’t just normal headaches.”

“Of course they’re not.” Elana’s voice made it clear how unlikely she felt that prospect was.  ”So it’s a migraine then? That’s still a headache, it just hurts more.”

“No! It’s not a migraine either!” I huffed again. “You never believe me with this stuff.”

“That’s because you say all these crazy things to try and convince yourself that you’re special somehow or that the world revolves around you.  I mean…” She took a deep breath, calming herself down before she continued. “Yes, you’re special, because everyone is special.  You have something unique about you, but so does everyone else, and just because you have a different situation in life doesn’t mean that it makes you better or worse. It just makes you different.”

“Oh, please. Enough with that sappy crap. You know who you sound like? You sound like the mom in The Incredibles.  And you know what? The kid was right. If everyone is special, no one is special.” I rolled my eyes, already bored with this particular lecture.  ”But that’s missing the point because you’re overlooking the fucking superpowers, which I personally think put me solidly into ‘special’ territory.”

“Alright, yes, you can move really fast now, under the right conditions.  And that is pretty unique, as far as we know.  But that doesn’t change anything.  Besides, you’re complaining about those  ’special headaches’ right now. Last time I checked you thought the speed was awesome.”

The airquotes are kind of unnecessary, El.  “Look, I’m telling you they’re not normal. And for the record, I think they’re fucking awesome, not just regular awesome.”

“Fine, fine, I stand corrected. But then what are they?  I mean, maybe this is your brain finally catching up and punishing you for being so dumb to ask me to punch you.” She laughed, putting a hand on her hip as she shook her head.

“Har har.  What a comedian.  Don’t you at least think it’s a little weird that suddenly I get these headaches when I never had them before?”

“Maybe.  I’d tell you to go see a doctor, but that seems like it’s out of the question at this point.” She put her book away, crossing her legs and tapping a finger against her chin as she pondered.  ”Still, it could just be a coincidence, you know.” Then another pause before she spoke up again. “Well, wait.  This just started before the hospital, right?  How is your ‘superhero training’ going?”

By this point, I had started to figure out how to control the activation of the speed boost.  Elana was more cooperative to throw punches after I moved so fast before, so we had experimented with it.  It took a couple of days before it clicked, but eventually I was able to notice something that felt different when it kicked in. After that, it was just a matter of reaching inward and flicking the right switch.  At that point I didn’t need her help, and I practiced on my own for about a week until, like most things in my life, I figured I had it down “good enough” and stopped.

“It’s not superhero training, I would be a shitty hero.  Besides, I would just get shot and killed my first night out.” I shrugged at the question. “I don’t know, yeah, it started then.  And I haven’t done it much lately. It’s cool but it’s not like I go out much, and I don’t know what else to use it for.  Why?”

“Well…” She was quiet again, seemingly rather hesitant to say what was on her mind. “This is just a theory mind you, I have no idea or anything…”

“Oh, stop with this hedging bullshit and just tell me.”

“Fine.  Do you think maybe the headaches are a sort of building up of energy?”

“Yeah, obviously. They’re a buildup of pain energy inside my skull.”

“Well, good, your sarcasm still works.” Elana shrugged. “Like I said, it’s just an idea, but maybe whatever is fueling your power is filling up and the headache is a sign that you need to use it somehow?”

“Hmm. I guess it couldn’t hurt to try.  Mind driving me out to the woods again?”  There was a forest a couple of miles from our apartment, not far from the edge of town.  Maybe half a mile inside, there was a pretty sizable clearing that I had been using to run around and experiment where no one would see me.

Elana sighed, standing and heading for her bedroom. “I guess I’ll get my keys. But you really need to get your license.”

“Actually, no, I don’t.” I said, laughing a little.  ”I think I can get around just fine without one now.”

“Except you still want me to drive you.”

“Only so I don’t run in to people or something and…” I sighed. “Alright, point taken. I’ll consider it.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

The trip was rather uneventful. I spent most of it staring out the window, the pounding in my head mixing nicely with that stupid Christian rock station that Elana always listened to to make my mood even worse.  Thankfully, the short distance meant she only had time to sing along to one song before we arrived.

“Here we are. Should I wait here or are you going to call me when you’re done?”

“Nah, just park it. I want you to come up with more bright ideas if this doesn’t work.” I got out of the car, heading over to the path. “Besides, you can be my lookout.”

“I could probably do that better if I waited here, you know.”

“Then forget the lookout, just come on.”

The walk was just as uneventful as the drive, though it took a bit longer. But at least there was no music this time.

“Great, here we are. Alright.  Time me, I’m going to run around for… give me, I dunno, how about 5 minutes?  Then we’ll see how I feel.”  I was already stretching some. It occurred to me that jeans were probably not the best choice to run in, but oh well.  We were already here, too late now.

“Right.” She reached into her purse, retrieving a stopwatch and sitting down under a tree.  ”Alright, ready, set, go!”

I took off, and after a couple of seconds to get started, I reached inside and flipped that mental switch.  All around me, the world shifted into that increasingly-familiar state of slow motion, while I remained running at the same speed.  It felt like it was the same speed, at least.  I had found that I got exhausted a lot faster while I had it active, but that could be improved with exercise and training. Overall, though, I had a real superpower.  I had dismissed it to Elana, but inside, I was overwhelmed with excitement. Holy fuck I’m doing it!  This is the coolest thing and I can do it whenever I want!  Fuck what she said, I am special, and that’s great.

My thoughts continued like that for a good whil, from my perspective. It seemed like I was  lost in this world of sloths for an hour, maybe more. Finally, I heard Elana speak up on the other side of the clearing. “Ttttttttttttiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmeeeeee’ssssss uuuuuuuuupppppppppp.”  I turned and cut straight across to the other side, coming to a stop before flipping the switch off.

Elana looked over at me, tilting her head. “Well? How do you feel?”

It was a good question, of course.  And the answer was even better. “Great! Headache is gone!” I smiled, then laughed a little. “You were right! It actually worked!” Although, there was more than just that, now that I thought about it. “And I was able to run. That whole time.  Non-stop.  So maybe you’re right.  Maybe there is some energy that I was tapping into, or something.”

I stood there and mulled it over as Elana stood up, brushing herself off and putting the stopwatch away. “Alright, we should get back.  But now you know what to do, right?”

“Yeah.” I wiped some sweat from my face, looking down. My shirt was completely soaked, and I let out a groan. “Hey, sis.  I just wanted to say thanks. For listening to me.”

She paused, staring at the tree in front of her for a few seconds before turning around. “You’re welcome.  That’s what I’m here for, right? To help out.”

“Right.  You can be my sidekick or something.” I laughed, walking over and patting her shoulder gently, resting my hand on it. “How does that sound?”

I could feel her stiffen up a little. “Yeah, sure.  Sidekick.”

- Lydia