LNH: Possum-Man: Relinquished #9: Of Family and Friends

[Andrew Perron]

On Tue, 12 Mar 2013 11:39:56 +0000 (UTC), Mitchell Crouch wrote:

> The cover shows a tall, muscular, handsome man in a costume similar to 
> Possum-Man's; where Pos' would be silver, his is green, and where Pos' is 
> gold, his is a mottled purple. Instead of a stylised possum face as a logo, 
> he appears to have some kind of rose. He's dramatically backlit and proudly 
> holding a waving flag, which also has his logo on it. A child version of 
> Sticks, dressed in a Possum-Man costume that is obviously too big for him, 
> stands in front of the man, gazing up in awe.

...ooooooooh. This does exactly what a cover should: Make you want to read
it.

(Which probably means that the recap should be below it.)

> "I have a headache," the child responded, and then coughed again. Sticks 
> was about to make a witty reply when the child continued, "It's because 
> you're boring and we hate you."

XD I love your dialogue.

> "Of which to be proud," Sticks interjected. "You... you ended your 
> sentence with a preposition, and that's wrong.
> 
> The children suddenly burst into applause. "Yay!" they cheered. "Grammar 
> is fun and interesting!"

Oh, so this is a dream then

> The children placed the skulls of stillborn children in Sticks' hand 
> before he could protest, and he bit back tears.

It doesn't even make sense, and yet. XD

> The silence was punctuated by the sound of Stones inexplicably chewing on 
> his Mr. Paprika.

I almost missed this bit. XD

> "Oh. Oh! Geez, sorry. I'll do that when I get back from my... walk."
> 
> "'S cool." Stones paused to observe his donut philosophically, and then 
> took another bite. The scene ended awkwardly.

*sad trombone*

> As Possum-Man, Sticks jumped awkwardly from tree to tree, mostly missing 
> and falling to the ground and having to hastily climb back up again,

I LOVE THE DETAILS. All of them.

> Pos placed a tender finger on Sawley's lips and gently shushed him. "Don't 
> ruin this beautiful moment with words, Sawley. Now tell me what you wanted 
> to tell me about!"
> 
> "...so you ¬_do_ want me to ruin the moment with words."

ALL OF THEM

> Pos grabbed the man's face roughly and pulled him in close, so close that 
> all Sawley could see was his own terrified reflection in the Possum-Man's 
> yellow goggles. "Mad sleuthing skills, Sawley." Turning Sawley's head so 
> that he was speaking directly into his ear, he repeated at a whisper, "Mad 
> sleuthing skills."

Okay seriously Pos, if you want to make out with him I'm behind you 100%

> "Possum-Man," David Sawley looked straight in his goggles, completely 
> straight-faced and straightly continued, "you need to take Deano on as your 
> sidekick."

Oooooooooh. <3 <3 <3 Yes perfect.

> "Okay. Fine. I'll take Deano on. But if you ironically die in a heavily 
> foreshadowed way at the hands of a net.villain whose, say, alter-ego 
> happens to work for the same newspaper that you do, I'm not adopting him so 
> that he can have whacky misadventures with my comic relief secondary 
> character roommate, okay?"

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

(He should have them anyway DO IT STICKS)

> Sawley's face lit up. "Thank you! Thank you, Possum-Man!" He shook the 
> hero's hand enthusiastically, and then added, "And don't worry, even if I 
> did die, he'd probably fight tooth and nail to go to that idiot party clown 
> he's always talking about anyway."
> 
> Possum-Man gritted his teeth, climbed up the nearest tree, and pretended 
> to disappear.

Heeheehee

> ----=== {PM} ===----
> 
> "Can still see you, Possum-Man!" called Sawley from the bottom of the 
> tree, waving up at him.

BWAHAHAHA

> "What does 'drunk' mean?"

...I think kids mostly know that `.`

> Deano nodded, his loose-fitting second-hand Possum-Man costume flopping 
> about uselessly. "I wanna be... Sonflower!"

D'awwwww! <3 That's perfect.

> But Sonflower had already turned into a giant tree and grown downwards 
> from the top of the tower with such velocity that he smashed through the 
> pavement, ripping up the nearby ground with huge roots as a thick branch 
> cracked the gunman in the jaw, knocking him out cold while agile vines 
> wrapped around his wrists and ankles, stringing him up from a nearby 
> eucalypt that Pos could have sworn wasn't there before. A Venus flytrap 
> sprouted from the road and rapidly digested the gun, burping afterwards.

Holy crap o.o

> "Um... yes. Yeah, uh, wait, where did the costume come from?"
> 
> "Oh," Sonflower replied happily, "I synthesised some new fibres and dyes 
> from-"

Humor about incompetence is over, humor about supercompetence is the new
hotness <3

> Pos scratched his jaw thoughtfully. That was definitely the Vixen's ship. 
> But who was this 'Ossum-Man'? Perhaps he would be able to help out in the 
> upcoming battle against oh nope nevermind, the missing 'P' at the front of 
> 'POSSUM-MAN' flickered on and off unreliably because it was definitely a 
> trap set for him.

Have I ever mentioned that I love this phrasing?

> The net.hero spared a glance over his shoulder at the tree, and saw it 
> swaying in the evening wind as if it was waving goodbye. He blinked, and 
> the tree was just a tree again.

Augh he's such a cutie.

> And then Possum-Man landed on the White Boomer's head, smashing it into 
> the floor and knocking him out. "I beat the Boomer!" he yelled with frantic 
> excitement as he used his momentum to pounce onto the Vixen, knocking her 
> to the ground. In the split second he had before she regained her 
> composure, he waved his arms haphazardly in the air and let out a joyful 
> squee.

Augh HE's such a cutie.

> Best to shut her up, he decided, and swiftly began shoving handfuls 
> of his cape into her mouth.

...but why

> "Urgh, that tastes awful!" the Vixen exclaimed. "When was - puh! - the ]
> last time you washed that thing?!"
> 
> "I wash it," Possum-Man growled through gritted teeth, "every Wednesday, 
> and I didn't realise IT WAS ALREADY THURSDAY!"

That's kind of a James Mason-y line, in the good way. <3
 
> Mumiyah considered this for a moment before attempting to comply. "Gotta 
> be honest," said Pos as he jumped backwards out of the way, "kinda don't 
> want you to put that thing inside of me."
> 
> ----=== {PM} ===----
> 
> Suddenly, Stones woke from his peaceful slumber and sat up straight on the 
> couch. "That's what she said," he muttered, and instantly fell back to 
> sleep.

Heeheehee <3

> Sah Mumiyah paused for a moment, catching his breath. A life of academia 
> was not usually this active. "Probably because this same amount of his soul 
> would be sufficient to, at best, drive anyone else insane, maybe even to 
> the point where they whoops! you stuck me with it."

Oh shit XD <3 I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE MY GOD

> "Who are you?" he whispered, his voice barely audible above the sound of 
> waves and Sah Mumiyah's dramatic transformation.
> 
> The Vixen's gaze softened as she realised she'd been caught unawares for 
> the second time this evening, and Possum-Man used his momentary advantage 
> to reach out and rip her mask off her face.
> 
> To no one's surprise but his own, Monica Jade stared back at him.

Augh. And this-- GOOD EMOTIONS. BEST WRITER.

> But seriously, I kinda forgot to introduce Deano as Sonflower last issue, 
> so this one got a little big and that subplot feels kinda rushed, but 
> that's okay! Now that Possum-Man is definitely 100% dead Sonflower becomes 
> the new main character of the series and you get plenty of time to get to 
> know him!

Oh yay awesome I look forward to it!

> (Spoilers: Possum-Man is not dead, he falls in the water and then wonders 
> if he remembered to turn the stove off. He swims to shore, walks home, and 
> realises that he did. He has some corn with butter, salt and pepper before 
> going to bed and dreaming of dinosaurs surfing through space. When he 
> awakens the next morning, he is confused, but oddly content.)

Huh. Well that's good too.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, going to bed now himself