GC: GC #14: Back in Action! Eventually

mrnelson007 at gmail.com mrnelson007 at gmail.com
Fri Jun 21 20:54:55 PDT 2013

So I'd like to apologize to RACC as a whole here. I genuinely didn't mean to disappear off the face of the RACCverse after swooping in to steal all your trophies like some kind of LNH supervillain.  I fully intend to try and catch up here though. Someday. I hope.

Meanwhile I haven't stopped posting updates to the blog, over at http;//goddesscorrespondence.tumblr.com so you can always check it out over there.

I ran into a young boy today. He was lost, and I’m sure he was scared as he cried out for his mother at the zoo. I walked with him and calmed him down and soon enough we found her. She was grateful of course, but I’m just glad I could help. A child should be with their parents as long as they can. Such is the natural order of things.

- Elana

Hm. For once I’m not feeling particularly introspective. I mean, I’ve talked about all of this a dozen times already. Sometimes I feel things, though, out at the edge of my consciousness. Alright, yeah, that was really vague, I know. Sorry. Let me elaborate.

Basically, I’m pretty sure I’m stable now. Not changing anymore. About fucking time, by the way. How much more could I change at this point? Well, I guess there are a few things, but I don’t really want to talk about them much. I’ll just say I do have my limits, extreme though they may be. In a way, though, that’s a relief. It kind of reassures me to know that I can’t do anything, just almost anything. A minor detail but very important, at least to me

I’m sure that sounds really stupid to all of you, and when things first started happening I never would have imagined I would think this way either. As it turns out, though, having limits reminds me that there’s always more out there. That there are things I don’t know, maybe even can’t know, at least not without effort. If everything was easy, I would be bored as all hell right now. I’m still bored, don’t get me wrong, but this is like an acceptable level of bored and not “I want to cut myself to feel like I’m alive” or something. Pretty sure if I could do everything it would be awesome for about 5 minutes and then I would be out of ideas.

You know, I never had suicidal thoughts until after the whole well, until after everything. I don’t have them so much anymore, but every once in a while I feel like I don’t deserve to be here. These things in my memory. They kind of terrify me, and I don’t want to know about them anymore…

Well, shit. There I go getting all sappy and sad after I already said I wasn’t going to do that. I’m such a liar. Well, enough of that for now. Where was I? Oh, right.

“No. I refuse. Absolutely not.” I said, stomping my foot against the ground. Sadly, it didn’t cause the windows to rattle or the ground to shake or anything dramatic like it does in the movies, but a girl can dream. Well, I mean, it would now but you get my point.

“I’m not sure I understand.” Rachel said, stepping between me and the doctor, looking back and forth between us. “What exactly is the issue here?”

“Well, you see-”

“The issue is fuck that guy,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “Seriously, I refuse. He’s a jerk and a shitty doctor and you never even checked on that brain tumor asshole!” It was kind of funny really. At the time, I was probably more pissed off than I should have been, but it turns out that, after everything that happened, it was totally justified. So I’ll just call that preemptive anger. Yeah, that sounds pretty good.

“Please, Lydia, calm down.” The doctor put his hands up, attempting to look innocent. “It’s not like I’m going to hurt you or anything.”

“Why would you even mention that? See? He is totally an asshole. I can’t believe he even thought of that. What the fuck?”

“Ahem.” He cleared his throat, and I relented in my verbal assault for the moment. “Thank you. Now, if you’ll let me finish. No one is going to hurt you, we’re just here to study you and-”

“No. They’re here to study me, or whatever. And now that I said that out loud, I have no idea why I ever agreed to this, but whatever. Why are you here?”

“Well, I-”

Now Rachel decided to interrupt him. I admit it. That made me smile a little. I’m not ashamed of that. “He’s here because he has the most experience with you on a medical or scientific level. We’re dealing with some kind of unexplained phenomenon here, so it only makes sense to get all of the experts, or at least the closest thing we have to them, all in one place. That gives us the best chance of figuring things out. Don’t you think?”

“Hmph. Alright, fine. I guess.” I wasn’t happy about it, but she did have a point. For the moment, at least, I let it go. After all, it should just be in and out, right? Nothing to worry about.

Oh, I was so dumb then. So fucking dumb.

“Right, well, let’s just get it over with, okay? So what do you want me to do?”

“First, we’re going to need to hook you up to these.” The doctor stepped past me, picking up some wires, the ones with those sticky pads on the ends that help you take heart rate and all that shit. “This will help us get a more accurate reading of your capabilities.”

Well, that was innocent enough, at least. I stepped up to the edge of the treadmill, holding my arms out for him.

Naturally my general feelings of accepting were quickly shattered when he talked. “Alright, I’m going to need you to lift up your shirt.”

“Like hell you are,” I said as I shook my head. But then I realized I was being an idiot. I know! I actually realized that. Shocking. …wow, alright. I should probably back off. Yeah he’s a creep, but he does have a point. “Yeah, I know. Bare skin, right. Sorry.” I actually blushed a little as I turned away from the glass wall, lifting up the front of my shirt. Dammit. Now I actually feel stupid for being in public. Son of a bitch. Hmm… maybe that’s their whole plan? They’re going to get me to feel really awkward and want to be somewhere private and then they’ll- Goddammit I am way too fucking paranoid. Not everything is some kind of conspiracy.

Why is it I was only being sensible at the times when I really shouldn’t? God, it’s like I was determined to talk myself into the situations that would be as dangerous as possible. I must have been really fucking bored deep down inside or something.

The doctor reached over and put his hand on my stomach, attaching the sensors and making his way up slowly. I gave him my best glare, although I didn’t move, still holding my shirt up for easier access. “Don’t go getting any ideas, doc. Pervert…”

“Relax, it will all be over soon.” Thankfully, he was a gentleman about it, which I admit I was a little surprised about. His hands came down and he pulled them out of my shirt, leaving what little I had to show off untouched. “There, see? No problem right?”

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky.” I said, nodding and pulling my shirt down. “So now do I go running on the treadmill or what?”

“Just a minute, let me check the readings here…”He looked at the monitor, then nodded his approval. “Yeah, looks good. You’re in pretty good shape, but I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise, hm? Alright, now just get on there and we’ll see what you can do.”

“About fucking time,” I grumbled under my breath as I stepped onto it. “Do you think this thing will be able to keep up with me?”

“Well, I don’t know. I guess you’ll just have to show us, won’t you?” Albert talked for the first time since Wallowitz had come in.

“I guess I will.” And so I started to run.

- Lydia

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