MISC: GODLING # 30: The Reality Bomb Saga Part Three

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Jul 29 00:08:29 PDT 2013

On Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:54:55 +0000 (UTC), jvdsteen1974 at gmail.com wrote:

> "It seems these reality bombs that are going off all over the globe are
> causing tears in the fabric of reality, weakening the walls between
> different realities and dimensions."
> "That sounds pretty incredible even to me. And I've visited Olympus,"
> Godling says.


(Also, I think these would be easier to read with either lines between the
paragraphs or spaces at the beginning of each paragraph.)

> “What kind of beings should I be thinking of?” Bogatyr asks.
> “Sometimes creatures with tentacles, sometimes other versions of
> ourselves. There’s a lot of possibilities.”

Oooooh, I know what's going to happen. Good way of working it in.

> “Some time ago a lot of different versions of myself showed up to help me
> out in a showdown with a supervillain.”
> Sir Magick strokes his chin. “That might explain how the bad guys were
> able to plant the bombs. It probably caused just enough of a tear in the
> fabric of reality for them to drop a few bombs through.”

There's always a catch!

> The robed man uses the slight upheaval to produce a small pen-like item
> from his sleeve. It turns out to be a blaster of some kind, firing a light
> bolt right into Godling’s face, who lets go of his prisoner.

Aw, I was hoping it'd be a sonic screwdriver.

> “Cracks in reality are caused by anomalies, things or beings from other
> realities. Find the anomaly in your reality, remove it and the cracks
> close.”
> Godling frowns. “He could be mentioning my fellow Godlings from other
> realities. But they’re gone now.”
> “Are you sure about that?” Sir Magick asks the One Man Pantheon.
> “Not 100%, I guess.”
> Sir Magick nods. “Then we need to make sure. In the meantime we need to
> make sure Throx here poses no danger.”

Doesn't Throx himself count, tho?

> “Your presence is endangering our present,” Godling tells him. “Please,
> return to your own reality.”
> “Not possible. I am here to save your world, not endanger it.”

Well, you could explain to him what Throx said--

> “You heard my comrade,” Bogatyr says and puts the point of his sword
> against Eye-Patch Godling’s chin.

--never mind.


Good stuff!

Now, since you'd been asking for opinions before: There's one thing I would
ask for more of, and that's description. Not long, lingering looks around a
room or ballads about the morning light through the curtains; I'm talking
about stuff that's short, zippy, and adjective-filled, just like in the
style of comic you're taking inspiration from. A punch can become a
rocketing super-punch (or a feeble weakling's punch); an explosion can be
booming or bright; a voice can be soft or grating or wobbly. I think it'd
really help the feel! <3

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, feel free to disregard, of course.

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