[MV] The Super Wizard From Space #38: Do While Rw Nw Prt M Hrw, part 2
pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Feb 2 18:24:28 PST 2013
On Thu, 10 Jan 2013 18:22:25 +0000 (UTC), Wil Alambre wrote:
> Like a universe giving birth right amongst Us. Shoving away this puny
> reality to make space. The great black throne room bends away, curves into
> the distance. A new foreign gravity forms. Dragging Us toward it. Pushing
> Us away.
Always so good the DESCRIPTION <3
> "What wasz all thisz for, then? Thisz pomp and pageantry. Wasz it to
> impressz Us? To impressz upon Our perszon some error of judgement? Or wasz
> it to prop up that fragile confidence you blame me for diminishzing? To
> show your ridiculousz peerz that your diszconsolateness is Our fault?"
> "It-*is*-your-fault," he mutters. "I-did-everything-for-you. Gave-you-gifts.
> Did-you-favors. I-wouldn't-even-be-*in*-this-tournament-if-it-wasn't-for-you."
Ohhhhhhhh... I see.
> "You whimpering urchin! We are *Genovefa Buzz*! Immortal and
> illusztriousz! We are not a vending machine for you to deposzit
> indulgencesz into until reciprocation comesz out!"
Yeah dude, way to be a Nice Mummy. >:/
> We're-given-a-world-of-complacency. We're-stagnant, existing-without-
> living. We're-rotting-away. I believe-that-there's-more-than-this.
> Only-trepidation-holds-us-back. I-will-overcome-this... not-by-overcoming-
> risk, but-by-*accepting-failure*."
Ahhhhhhh. Classic, yet still great.
> M reaches out. We flinch away. We cannot risk whatever malaise infecting
> his programming to be downloaded along our transmission. "Thisz abdication
> you preach isz an act of treaszon and cowardicze."
> He steps back. "I-thought-you'd-understand."
> "Then you do *not* know Usz," We spit back.
Poor Queen Buzz, doomed not to understand.
> speak-with-the-Pyramids-Of-Ka. It's-not-my-place."
> "It isz *every* drone'sz place to protect the szwarm."
> "I-am-*not*-one-of-your-drones," it states firmly.
Interesting mix of subservience and self-determination!
> The hot desert wind, already blowing in red sand into the corridor. The
> shattered orange window, where the orbiting drone plunged through. The
> spiderweb of cracks in the stone floor, where the drone slammed down upon
> its unsuspecting prey. The little round robot, a victim of the drone's
> string and already succumbing to its transformative toxin.
Ohhhhhhh. Yes, naturally.
> We approach and gently lay hand on its metal carapace. A maternal sense of
> pride washes over Us as it looks up in supplication. And reverence. We
> lean forward, close enough to whisper, so sweetly, "Szo, who are you now?"
> It speaks with clarity. "I've-been-reclassified! I'm-now-Servitor-designated-B."
D'oh! XD Nice, and nice tonal shift.
> Playing on the egyptian motif, M's originally intention was to let the
> wizard kill him, in defiance of the pseudo afterlife he and his fellow
> robots were stuck in. However, I did not want it to come across as a noble
> sacrifice (I was aiming more for a selfish martyr thing), and more
> importantly, I did not want to come across as advocating suicide.
Honestly, it still comes across as pretty noble here.
> In my attend to make "rounder" characters, I'm trying to add more meaning
> to what they say and what they *don't* say. That read-between-the-lines
> stuff. I believe I'm a good enough storyteller to ideas across, but I'm
> still not certain I'm a good enough *writer* to get those ideas across
> without blatantly saying so.
Hmmmmm. I think it's working!
> Compared to the earlier issues in this series, I feel that I'm doing a
> much better job self-editing a story, getting the most
> "bang for my buck", word-count wise :)
Awesome! <3 Good luck!
As a side note: It's interesting how almost everyone in this series is
being controlled by someone or something, whether it be some cosmic force,
an invading technology (bio- or cyber-), or their own fixed ideas - of
justice, of destiny.
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, faskinatin'.
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