LNHY: Looniverse Y #13: 1st Fit

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Tue Apr 30 20:01:49 PDT 2013

On Wed, 1 May 2013 00:50:07 +0000 (UTC), Adrian J. McClure wrote:

> "Hold it!" said Pister Y. Maprika III, the world's richest man, clad in
> his newly built armor in the shape of a can of No-Duh Soda. ("No-Duh! I'ts
> a soda!")

> "Ah," said Pister Y. Maprika III. "Ah, that's the red button, right? They
> said it was the red button..."
> "Give me a minute, dear, I'll take care of this," said Trophy Wife.

Ah, good, I was afraid he might be competent for a minute there.

> "See!" said Exclamation!Master! "The power of your popcorn is nothing
> compared to the metallic maiden of might!"
> "Maiden," said Trophy Wife. "Heh."
> "Ah. Well," said Exclamation!Master!, blushing. "Sometimes one must
> sacrifice accuracy for alliteration!"


> "Forget it!" said Kid Kicked-Out. "I'm out of here. I quit."
> "I thought you weren't even part of the team anymore," said Trophy Wife.
> "I don't know what you're even doing here."
> "Well... I double quit!"

XD I was wondering!

> "Oh," said Exclamation!Master!, "for the record, Trophy Wife's rump is not
> hypnotic in and of itself! It merely had a powerful influence on the
> unfortunate victims of the zombifying popcorn who had already been rendered
> susceptible!"
> "Uh, who are you talking to," said Kid Kicked-Out.
> "Anyone who might be listening!"


> "I... No, I won't have it." He stamped his feet. "You see, the amount of
> fuel the Legioncruiser uses has to be carefully calculated, and we can’t
> allow even the slightest deviation or else we'll go crashing into the sun!"
> "We're not in space," said Trophy Wife. But Exclamation!Missy! had already
> left in tears, pedaling away on her Exclamation!Cycle!


> Everything in his life
> between the time he left home and the time he became a cape was kind of a
> blur. (It was funny how prevalent that term was even though practically no
> one actually wore a cape.)

Tradition abides.

> Every time we got together to give him a gift, he
> looked down on my gifts and he loved my brothers. And then one day we got
> into a fight, and... and..." He gripped his hands around something in
> midair, then brought them down, as if bashing someone’s head in.

...oh. Ohhhhhhhh.

> People have tried to kill me again and again--I've been shot,
> hanged, stabbed--I was crucified twice! Everyone thinks that other guy was
> so great but he was only crucified once!


> Everyone else in the bar stood dumbfounded at this, except for the
> bartender, who had had net.heroes and villains in before and was used to
> this kind of behavior now. He waited until Kid Kicked-Out had fully
> demonstrated the futility of his course of action and dropped the chainsaw
> on the floor, collapsing into a sobbing heap.

Ah, blase bystanders. How I love you.

> "OK, so what have you got?"
> "Here. It's on the house," said the bartender, handing him a can of No-Duh.

YES. And perfect frustration moment... go.

> It wasn't long before the bartender picked him up and summarily ejected him
> into the street.

*sad trombone*

> "Kid Kicked-Out?! Are you OK?!!!" said Exclamation Missy. She grimaced, as
> he had not washed his uniform or taken a shower in several weeks, not
> having access to the resources of the LNHQ.

So it's only been a few weeks since Looniverse Y #11?

> "I... hey. Wait a minute. That gives me an idea."
> She looked alarmed. "It isn't anything dirty, is it?!!?"
> "Uh... no, no it isn't.

Exclaimation!Missy! is ADORABLE.

> I mean, what if we formed our own net.hero team. The Legion of Substitute
> Net.Heroes! Or something. We don't have to give a crap about that Maprkia
> guy or the Member Detector or any of their stupid rules.

Ooooooooh. Very nice. I wonder how it's going to go wrong.

> Suddenly he was wondering whether he
> should go ahead with this. She was such a sweet kid, even if she had a
> really annoying voice. Would it be right for him to drag her into this
> mess? Was this a good idea?
> Well, Kid Kicked-Out had never had a good idea in his entire life, and
> he'd never let that stop him before.

Heeheehee <3 <3 <3

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, nicely done.

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