RACCIES: 2012 (19th Annual) RACCies Ceremony

[Andrew Perron]

On Fri, 26 Apr 2013 01:45:15 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:

> Inside, it said, "Sharpshooter!  You are invited to observe the RACCies 
> Award Ceremony of 2012!  Your reading this invitation constitutes 
> acceptance of this request!"

YAY. <3 Start right off with the awesome obscure ones.

> She turned to the big man who'd just stepped in behind her.  He was like 
> an orc from the movies!  He looked down and said, "I know the feeling. 
> That's how this ceremony works.  I greet you as Anal-Retentive Analysis 
> Kid 2."
> 
> "Uh, hi.  I greet you as Rachel Hawkins."
> 
> "Understood on many levels.

ARAK II's pretty great. <3 He's so Saxon-y.

> Past the gate, a man was holding a sign, "Rachel Hawkins".  He had a 
> tuxedo, a top hat, and a serious sunburn.

*snerk* Somethingburn, anyway.

> "You *are* investigating metahuman powers.  I'm involved with that. 
> More than that, you'll understand I can't reveal without a briefing."

Heeheehee. <3

> "When the time comes, you will know that is not important.  But I do 
> want you to know, I directed that invitation to you.  I know you 
> personally can change things tonight by just being here.  I may be 
> unavailable later, but I'll count on you to represent us."

Ooooooooh. Eenteresting.

> Eager 
> for *anyone* she knew, she yelled and waved.  "Hey!  Lydia!  Lydia 
> Devin!  Hi!"
> 
> Lydia visibly shrugged.

Heeheehee

> Lydia interjected, "I think they were the Power Nut and the Stupo Wizard."

Ah, Lydia. <3

> "Let me introduce myself. I am the Maximum Overlord of the Dorfs!  I 
> know superhumans!"  He raised his fists.  Some people at Rachel's table 
> gasped, but more people clapped.

Oooooh, ahhhhh.

> "You'll be 
> glad to know this year they will be *restrained!*"  Spotlights shone on 
> that Power-NAUT and that Super Wizard, as tentacles enfolded them from 
> their seats.  Aa they struggled, their energy was drained from them. 
> Some people applauded, but Rachel gasped.

I see. o.o Kinky.

> "You will notice we restrain many beings of power.  We do this with 
> power which *surpasses* theirs!  First:  The entire Legion of Net.Heroes 
> collection of occult objects!"  Shelves appeared with a ring, a 
> gauntlet, and stuff.
> 
> "Then:  Six of the Omniversal Engines!"  Jewels burst through the backdrop.
> 
> "Finally:  Four of the Cosmic Crowns!"  Four headdresses burst 
> underneath them.

Daaaaang. The last time I saw that many MacGuffins in one room, I was being
labeled SCP-24601.

> Another voice sang out from one more table.
> 
> "A desperate time had come to pass!
> Our Heroes trapped like flies in glass!
> They all were far from help or aid!
> So who could ever come to save?"
> 
> "Uh... TerraStar.  Silence Mr. Chevalier's Narrator."  ZZZORCH from 
> across tables

*snerk* Man, he needs to team up with the Mike Kittyman narrator.

> The young man next to her said, "No!  If you have a way out of here, we 
> have to hold it in reserve!  Meanwhile, we can learn the villain's plan!"

My little boy is learning! (Casey sez, "Dude, I'm eighteen. For like eleven
years running.")

> The speaker continued.  "We have harnessed the power of this ceremony 
> itself, to call out and harness all this *other* power!  *Your* power! 
> So now our plan commences!  The Great Plan of the Dorfs!"

Gosh dorf it.

> An award trophy grew to about fifteen feet tall.  Tentacles came from it 
> to drag one man to shackles at the top, and another at the bottom!  It 
> had a label:
> 
>                   .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....
> ** FAVORITE REVIEW TITLE (RACC13):  End of Month Reviews! (Accepted by 
> Anal-Retentive Analysis Kid)  HONORABLE MENTION:  The Tribulations of 
> Kid Review!  (Accepted by Kid Review)
>                   .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

Maaaaaaann. These shackles hurt. >:/

>                   .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....
> ** FAVORITE STORY UNIVERSE (RACC14):  Classic LNH!  (Accepted by 
> Cheesecake Eater Lad)  HONORABLE MENTION:  LNH20!  (Accepted by January 
> Frost)
> 
> ** BEST DISCUSSION (RACC16):  Queer LNHers/Superhuman World Sexuality! 
> (Accepted by Fairy Princess Lad)  HONORABLE MENTION:  Three Metaphors 
> For Superhero Teams!  (Accepted by Manga Girl)

Interesting way you're doing it.

> Casey said, "Okay, I get their plan.  We'd better shut this down before 
> they get to the Super Wizard or the Goddess."
> 
> "... Goddess?"
> 
> "Yeah."

It's not like we need someone *more* unstable than Lydia with that power.
*hides in the next dimension over*

> A professorial-looking man at the table said, "Never mind him.  I've got 
> this one."  He got up, walked away from the table - then started 
> glowing.  Guards moved toward him.
> 
> "Ah, thank you, Easily Discovered Man," Casey whispered.

Truly a stand-up guy.

> Two Dorf guards held on to Easily Discovered Man, while others converged 
> on Rachel's table.  But a naked man stood up at the next table, and 
> exposed himself!  The guards stopped and gaped.  Casey said, "And thank 
> *you*, Nudist Man."

Too bad Distraction Dude isn't here or we coulda had a threefer.

> "Limo with a *magic* motor.  Think of it as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang if 
> it makes you feel better."  Now that Rachel had a chance to listen, the 
> car *did* sound like like it was saying something, only "Can'tbe Saxon 
> Brenton, Can'tbe Saxon Brenton..."

*snerk!* 

> The driver said, "Not THE Higher Power.  Y'know, there's more than one. 

Some of us are more like Lower Powers. I'm more an Eightfold Path Power.

> The man at the computer shook hands.  "Okaay, I get it.  Hi, Ron.  I'm 
> Scott.  I guess *they* want to talk to me now."

Ahhhhh, classic. <3

> Casey said, "Oh, no!  Obsessive Compulsive Boy's current obsession with 
> soda has turned him into Attention Deficit Boy!"
> 
> Scott said, "Yeah, that's it..."

Hmmmmmm. This could come off as a bit insensitive,
actual-human-problems-wise.

> "Kid.  Shut.  Up."  Obsessive Compulsive Boy was invisibly forced away - 
> and around a corner!
> 
> The others gaped.  Casey said, "His compulsion power isn't working on 
> this guy!"

I-- that's not his power I don't think

> Casey had looked dumfounded.  But he said, "I get it!  We've ascended to 
> The Writers!  The Ultimate Ninja's group did this and resolved the Beige 
> Midnight crisis..."  And he just kept talking.

Jeez, the narration got bored with the exposition.

> "Err... You came here for the power of the Writers, right?  I'd guess if 
> you eat of my food and drink of my drink, you'll get my power back where 
> you live.  At least that's what *I* come here to get."

Ooooooh. Good point. Let's see, I have some pomegranate seeds...

> "Great.  Here it comes."  The barmaid brought a wooden paddle holding 
> small glasses of beer, and a small pizza with six slices.  "Eat of this 
> fine food and drink these cups, and you shall have the same powers I 
> have here."

That's good too!

> Obsessive Compulsive Boy dashed in.  "I heard we all got power from The 
> Writer!  And he's writing us all at *that* computer so if I grab it we 
> can have *all* the power of the Writers -"  He climbed on a barstool and 
> grabbed for Scott's computer!

XD XD XD OCBoy no, the last time someone tried that-- why do you think the
last RACCies were late, huh

> The visitors disappeared!  (art at 
> http://www.eilertech.com/stories/powernaut/RACCies_2012.png)

Shiny!

>                   .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....
> ** FAVORITE ONGOING SERIES (RACC2):  Correspondence With the Goddess! 
> (Accepted by The Goddess) - Lydia was hanging from a trophy!

Maaaaaaaan

> ** FAVORITE MINI-SERIES (RACC3):  TIE!  Beige Midnight (Accepted by 
> Ultimate Ninja) AND Ultimate Mercenary (Accepted by Ultimate Mercenary)!

Oooooh, he must be excitied to be strung up with his idol.

> ** FAVORITE HERO/PROTAGONIST (RACC6):  Lydia Devin/The Goddess!   Lydia 
> was chained from her trophy to another one!  HONORABLE MENTION:  Kid 
> Enthusiastic!

Yaaaaay!

> ** FAVORITE NEW CHARACTER (RACC9):  Lydia Devin/The Goddess!  Another 
> chain for Lydia!

Back on the chain gang~

> The Dorf Master kept speaking.  "And now we take the FINAL PRIZES!  We 
> Claim the Power of the Writers!"

GASP!

> ** FAVORITE PERSON WHO HANGS OUT ON RACC (RACC15):  TIE!  Adrian McClure 
> AND Andrew Perron!  Honorable Mentions:  Scott Eiler AND Rob Rogers!

Woo! Nobody I'd rather be chained up with! <3

> Casey said,  "This is getting out of control...  *Everyone Safe!*"  The 
> audience disappeared, and so did Obsessive Compulsive Boy.

Very good. <3

> It was down to Rachel.  She had the last wish.  How could she save them 
> all?  But then she remembered her friends, in chains.  And she 
> remembered, the one guy had said to watch them.  So she said, "Lydia!"
> 
> Rachel was suddenly at Lydia's side, and the restraints around her 
> dissolved.  Lydia said, "Oh, you do not know what a right decision you 
> have made."

I know, right?

> "Err, *we* is the wrong word."  Lydia gestured.

Heeheehee <3

> "Oooh..."  Rachel woke up in her own bed.  She remembered Lydia in a 
> vivid dream.  Then she said...  "Prince Charming *and* an Invincible 
> Lava Lamp?"

You know, I've been having pretty weird dreams the last few nights.
Maybe... @-@

> Hi.  I'm Scott the Writer.  I get prizes for quality sometimes, and for 
> quantity often.  So the Internet group Rec.Arts.Comics.Creative has let 
> me write their awards ceremony this year.  I've promised to publish on 
> the weekend nearest May 1st.  To me, that means the weekend before, and 
> the Thursday before *that*.  Obsessive Compulsive Boy has met his match 
> in more ways than one.

<3 <3 <3 Well-done, especially compared to me.

> Oooh, I've seen the results.  Truly it is a mixed blessing to see them 
> before everyone else and in detail, as tabulator Andrew Perron well 
> knows.  So I want people to know how many of these contestants could 
> have become the winner with just one vote in the opposite direction. 
> These are the Honorable Mentions.  It certainly made *me* feel better 
> about some of those contests when I saw them.

<3 An excellent idea!

> As for the ceremony...  I'm tired of writing new text stories for *my* 
> world.  I wanna play with everyone else's.  8{D>

Heeheehee. <3

> By tradition, the RACCies ceremony is trans-universal.  All characters 
> are always used without restriction, in the understanding that their use 
> here does not affect their home storylines.  In that tradition I'm 
> trying to return the characters without harm, but I'm also 
> *incorporating* those storylines as much as feasible, so the story here 
> need not be ignored.  This is my fourth year as contributor to the 
> RACCies, and I've not ignored its story yet.  Not *entirely,* anyway.

Works well!

> Is he in his 
> youthful 1944 body, his heroic 1962 body, or a cursed old man who's 
> cranky like Internet Bill Cosby in 2011?  Based on what works for this 
> story, I'm declaring Cranky Old Guy!

Yaaaaaaay!

> For what it's worth, the perfect Food of the Writers came to me on Pi 
> Day.  The Food of course is Pizza Pi.  So there.

<3 Naturally.

> *  Anal-Retentive Analysis Kid II (not to be confused with 
> Anal-Retentive Analysis Kid) and No, It Can't Be Saxon Brenton, He's 
> Dead Kid are characters of Saxon Brenton.  You can blame the Dorf-run 
> ceremony on Saxon too.  The concept came up at RACC-Con last year.

Ahhhhhhh, that's what you meant. <3

> *  Casey von Aluminumfoil is a character of Andrew Perron and is used by 
> permission.  His powers are telepathy and limited precognition.  We may 
> safely assume he was using those powers throughout the adventure to 
> understand things, quietly so as not to be swatted.

Indeed~ Subtlety!

(And you'll be getting to know him a lot better in FLAME WARS FINAL! Begins
May 1st with Flame Wars Final #0! *plugplugplug*)

> Personal Note:  The Powernaut *almost* winning, I understand.  But *I* 
> almost won WHAT?  I wasn't even *trying* for Mr. Congeniality!  Uh, thanks!

Naturally! You're humble and lovable, just like Underdog.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, and always give feedback, that's very
important.