LNH20: Clueless Lad Team-Up #3: Featuring The Great Catastrophe! (Spoon of Destiny Tie-In)

Scott Eiler seiler at eilertech.com
Mon Sep 24 18:30:22 PDT 2012

Continuing the September of Shaking Things Loose.


featuring The Great Catastrophe!
Tie-In with the Spoon of Destiny Parts 12 and 13!


Last Issue:  The Legion of Net.Heroes Headquarters building can manifest 
itself anywhere.  One of its side entrances leads to a mine entrance in 
West Virginia.  The Kiwis of the LNH HQ made it out the entrance as 
dragon fire shot out.  One Kiwi watched Dimm Bulbus charge in and turn 
the responsible dragon into a human.  Dimm is charging upward, to make 
sure nobody's trapped in a mine fire...  Can Kiwis sigh? 

Meanwhile:  The Great Catastrophe, a cat-like hero with the powers of 
previous heroes, has been deposited by unknown mystic forces in the LNH 
HQ lobby.  The receptionist promptly gave him a huge pile of membership 
forms.  (The Great Catastrophe #3)

Meanwhile:  Two separate villainous forces have invaded Net.ropolis, 
home of the LNH.  Among them they have the power of elder gods *and* a 
Spoon of Destiny.  With that power, they've turned the city into an 
airborne island.  (LNH Comics Presents #12, 13)


Legionnaires flooded out the LNH lobby door.  The Great Catastrophe 
said, "Oh, it must be time to fight evil!"

January Jones, er, Emma Frost, er, January Frost had followed the 
Legion.  She said, "No, not you.  You'll have to fill out our liability 
forms first."  (pointing at a huge pile of paperwork that Catastrophe 
had dodged - see The Great Catastrophe #3)

"Well, okay.  But why aren't *you* going out to fight evil?"

"Because it's *my* job to defend headquarters!", she said with chest 
prominently thrust out.

"Well, *all right*!  I'm all over that paperwork!"  Next to The Great 
Catastrophe, his companion Vivian snorted.

Then a smug voice emerged from an intercom.  "If I might interrupt your 
preliminary mating ritual, humans..."

January Frost snarled, "WHAT!?"

"Merely an observation.  But to business.  You'll be glad to know I've 
deduced how to read this building's defensive systems."

"What would possess you to think that makes me *glad*, rodent?

"Because that is the *good* news.  The *bad* news is, those systems have 
been going offline, one floor at a time, floor by floor.  Some effect is 
rising from below.  It has now negated your lobby defenses."


Below, Dimm Bulbus climbed the stairwell.  It must have been fifty 
stories.  He'd stopped at every level, looking for survivors.  Every 
level looked fine, but he knew that mine fires could jump mine levels.

He didn't know how long he'd taken; his watch moved an hour every time 
he thought to look.  He just kept telling himself:  Real firemen do 
this.  I have to do it too.

One mine chicken was coming along with him.  He figured it was good 
luck.  Occasionally he'd say, "You okay, little guy?"  The bird would 
lift a wingtip.  Like Thumbs Up or something.  And he'd chirp "Kiwi." 
Smart bird.

Dimm had finally gotten to what looked like an office level.  At least 
it had a nice wooden door, not a steel fire door.  He pushed through.

On the other side, he saw a man and two women in the lobby.  The man had 
a short beard and long mustache, and wore a trenchcoat.  One woman 
looked like a receptionist.  The other woman wore a white business suit, 
with high heels.  Dimm asked her, "You the boss?"

She tried to look sexy but authoritative.  Whatever.


January Frost said to the intruder, "*I* ask the questions here. 
Perhaps you could tell me what's happening to our systems."

Dimm Bulbus was still a bit out of breath.  He just said, "Mine fire."

"Your fire?  You're setting fire to our systems?"

"Not me.  Lady, you're on top of a mine.  Ain't you heard of mine fires?"

"Oh.  You're setting incendiary *mines*.  All right, then."  January 
spun to take the intruder down with a side kick.

One of her high heels got caught in the carpet!  She fell sprawling, and 
grimaced as her ankle sprained.  Dimm said, "Never *did* know how you 
ladies could walk in those shoes."

January turned to the man in the trenchcoat.  "You!  If you want to be a 
hero, now would be an especially good time.  Could you perhaps take this 
man into custody?"

Then the trenchcoat itself said:  "What are you waiting for?  Go give 
this guy a smiting!"

Dimm said, "Uh, did your coat just talk?"

The man in the trenchcoat responded, "Yup."

Dimm:  "No way!"

Trenchcoat:  "Yes way, you moron!  And I'll talk all day if I want to!"

Man in trenchcoat:  "It will, too."


To Be Continued - in The Great Catastrophe #4!



-  LNH-20 Kiwis created by Lalo Martins, inspired by Kid Kiwi's Kiwi 
Kommandos, created by Descrii Ian Porrell.  Or so I hear.

-  The Great Catastrophe created by James Mason.

-  January Frost created by Tom Russell and Adrian J. McClure.  Or so I 

-  The nameless rodent slot is up for grabs.

-  The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 12 created by Adrian J. McClure.

-  The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 13 created by Martin Phipps.

-  Clueless Lad created by Scott Eiler.  Let's come out and say it: 
Clueless Lad is copyright 2012 by Eiler Technical Enterprises, but is 
available for public use within media related to the Legion of 
Net.Heroes without condition.


Author's Notes:

err, I had some more Author's Notes, but that was six months ago. 
Still, I'm glad I took some time off from Powernaut 1955 to write a 
combat scene of Clueless Lad vs. high heels.

Over to you, James, err, Andrew.

(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

Let's take a look, if you will, at the Second Amendment of the
Constitution, which protects every American's right to shoot another
American.  This cherished constitutional right to shoot people and make
them dead is currently recognized in all fifty states, most recently

- The Borowitz Report
March 2012.

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