LNH: Possum-Man: Relinquished #8: Shadows and Silhouettes

[Andrew Perron]

On Thu, 20 Sep 2012 11:46:22 +0000 (UTC), Mitchell Crouch wrote:

> ~ * PREVIOUSLY IN POSSUM-MAN: RELINQUISHED... * ~

Woohoo!

BTW, I wrote up the wiki article for the series: http://www.lnhq.info/wiki/Possum-Man%3A_Relinquished

> The cover shows Sticks walking down a path in a park, whistling a merry
> tune. The sun has an enormous smiley face, as do the trees, and flowers.
> The bright colours are the very definition of gaiety. His shadow, however,
> is that of Possum-Man fending off an attack from a sinister assailant.

Wheeeeee! 

> Deano looked up at the two men, and his face lit up as he recognised
> Sticks. "Clown-Man!" he cried happily. He placed his brightly coloured
> watering can on the ground and raced inside, his arms outstretched like
> those of an aeroplane as he made whooshing noises. He did this because he
> is a young boy, and that is how all young boys behave, all the time. I am a
> good author.

...I... I... yes. Yes, you are, because you managed to express that in the most hilariously silly manner possible. <3

> "Oh, that's okay." Deano ran into the middle of the yard, and sank to his 
> knees, gripping the grass firmly with both hands as he squeezed his eyes 
> shut tightly. When he opened them again, his irises were glowing a fierce 
> green as his jungle came to life around him. "It's not like he can do anything 
> to stop me anyway."
>
> And Sticks' jaw dropped like it was attached to a tonne of lead.

GASP

AWESOME

> ----=== {PM} ===----
>
> Or a tonne of anything, really. It would still be a tonne, either way.

Well, if we're talking troy weight vs. avoirdupois vs. metric...



> "OH YEAH!" came the reply, and Stones pelted a treat at his friend. "They 
> let me out today so I came home. Honestly, I'm kinda glad you two were 
> out. I didn't wanna, you know, walk in you two having a limited edition 
> team-up or anything."
>
> "Never call it that again."

Insert Giant-Size Man-Thing joke here.

> Stones rolled his eyes playfully. "Oh, okay, dad. I didn't realise you'd 
> invented a time machine and gone back to the 1920s without me." With a sly 
> wink at the reader, he added, "Ha! Just kidding. Time machines have already 
> been invented, because this is the Looniverse and everything is friggin' 
> awesome."

*cheers!* It's true! It's so true. <3

> It was the strangest, darndest thing, but once the Vixen showed up, Moni was 
> nowhere to be seen. Absolutely weird, right? After that, they just seemed to 
> keep missing each other. He'd received no replies to any of the texts he'd 
> sent her, and only reached her message bank when he tried calling. Whenever 
> he came home from work or patrol as Possum-Man there would be another missed 
> call from her, as though she knew exactly what he was doing and when and was 
> purposefully leading him in circles. It was just so odd!

What a completely inexplicable series of events!

> According to this article I read this morning with an oddly specific tagline
> that says it was edited by Moni, the Vixen is 'probably the smartest, best 
> and prettiest ever'."

Sounds legit.

> Then again, it was probably his own fault; if he didn't continually and
> reasonably insist that he didn't care for Possum-Man, she probably wouldn't 
> be taking the side of his villain now. She was so sweet and caring like that!
>
> Sticks sighed wistfully and floated off into his bedroom in a happy haze.
>
> After a moment, Stones popped another treat into his mouth and continued 
> watching his movie. "That's cool," he called out after his friend. "It's not
> like we were in the middle of a conversation about how I just came out of 
> hospital after being shot or anything. Just walk away, that's cool. I, mean,
> I'm practically a hero, but that's cool." He rolled his eyes and kept eating.
> "Geez, the guy thinks the whole story revolves him."

I'm not gonna lie: This sequence is easily the funniest thing I've read all week.

> Sah Mumiyah winced as he poured liquid nitrogen from one Erlenmeyer flask 
> to another for visual effect. "No, no, no. I've spent my entire career as an 
> Egyptologist studying Netmakahn. He was a powerful sorcerer, but he was also 
> what we archaeologists call a 'douche bag'.

First funny: Visual effect. Second funny: 'douche bag'.

> "But even this dilute, it would turn any normal man into some kind of super-
> powered... villain! Don't you see? This could be used to create an army!" 
> Mumiyah picked up a separating funnel filled with water and vegetable oil and 
> gave it a shake.

dfkljbhdfklbjkdfl WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT FUNNY DETAILS

> "I'm afraid I'm not able to answer the phone right now, but just leave your 
> name and number after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm 
> able, unless I forget!" There was a pause, followed by Hank mumbling, 
> "How do I...?" and then a beep.

rtd;ljhbelkdbjlkfdsj

> "In fact, in my professional opinion as a net.hero, I think she's actually
> kind of ugly. She kind of... she looks like a truck, yeah? Does anyone else
> see that?"
>
> "Oh my god, YES!" muttered a member of the audience.
>
> "Like, I think it's just the red hair. It's not attractive, at all. It's 
> really, really unbecoming." In many ways, Pos was glad he had his goggles on.
> If he'd had to take the death glares he was receiving from Moni right now 
> straight to his unprotected eyes, he didn't know if he'd survive.

...you're sure you wanted to date this guy, Monica?

> Meanwhile, Monica sat in the audience, and watched. And listened. And smiled.

MWAHAHAHAAAAA

> I feel as though I broke the fourth wall a lot to cover up how uninteresting 
> the events of this issue are. But now the fan is on, and the shit can hit it! 
> yaaaaay

Yaaaaaaaay! <3 I thought this episode was super fun, obviously.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, augh all this stuff.