LNH: Kid Recap Explains Beige Midnight (Again)!
arspitzer at earthlink.net
Wed Sep 19 12:24:13 PDT 2012
"Okay," said Kid Recap sitting in his room. "For those of you out there
that don't know what Beige Midnight -- here's a little video for you to
Kid Recap's video began to play.
Can't-Understand-Beige-Midnight Man had a gigantic cannon sized gun
pointed at Kid Recap's head. "This is it, Kid Recap. This is where I
destroy you. But before I do that -- I want you to do one thing. Just
one thing. Explain it to me! Explain Beige Midnight!!!!!!!!!"
"Okay," said Kid Recap, "Mind if I get a drink first?"
"If you need too."
"Thanks," said Kid Recap taking a flask out of one of his pockets and
then taking a swig. "Okay. Let's see here. First we have to talk
about Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig."
"Do we have to?"
"Yes. We have to. So, back in March 31, 2007 -- The Ultimate Ninja
took some badly needed vacation time and put Fearless Leader in charge.
But at exactly Midnight on Fearless Leader's first day on the job,
Fearless Leader disappeared. And so Irony Man was put in charge. But
he disappeared too. And Pull-Paper-out-of-Hats Lad was given the task
of picking a new leader each day, which he did. And for about 465 days,
a new leader was picked for each day (and all of this took place in a
month. An Infinite April). The last one being Cannon Fodder who met
the person responsible for abducting the LNH'rs. It was Bart. Bart the
Dark Receptionist. And Bart was working for Dekay and Diskolor -- The
Bryttle Brothers -- two powerful entities that the LNH defeated back in
1992 -- in an event called 'Beige Noon'.
"Bart had abducted the LNH to the future. 2092. It was an alternate
future where the Bryttles had laid waste the entire Looniverse. Bart
told Cannon Fodder that the Bryttles would come a year from now, which
would be 2008 back then. And they would destroy the LNH when they came
back. With that said Bart sent the LNH back to 2007 so that they could
prepare themselves for the upcoming battle.
"So now we get to Beige Countdown -- the year or so between Infinite
Leadership Cry.Sig and Beige Midnight. The Ultimate Ninja was being
accused of murdering wReamicus Maximus (he didn't -- it was wReamicus
Maximus who murdered himself using a cloned Ultimate Ninja body) so he
decided to resign and gave the reins to a Triumvirate made up of
Fearless Leader, Catalyst Lass, and Irony Man. The ninja didn't realize
that Irony Man was in league with a supervillain group called the
HexFire Club that was being run by President Hex Luthor and that the
club was manipulating the LNH Leadership Election. Anyways, the
Election was held and the Ultimate Ninja won it. But the Ultimate Ninja
had been kidnapped by the HexFire Club and wReamicus Maximus in a cloned
Ultimate Ninja body was now running the LNH. So the HexFire Club has
control of the LNH. And while all of that is happening, Occultism Kid
is searching for the Book of Deus ex Machinas, which he thinks will help
the LNH beat the Bryttle Brothers. Turns out though Bart tricked
Occultism Kid into searching for the book and when Occultism Kid did
find it -- Bart got to it first and freed the Bryttle Brothers who were
trapped in one of the book's pages. And here's where we get to Beige
"Finally!" said an impatient Can't-Understand-Beige-Midnight Man.
"Anyways, the Bryttles are free although still asleep on gigantic
thrones in the middle of Net.ropolis not to wake till April 29, 2008.
And the HexFire Club is in control of the LNH. And the HexFire Club has
its own plan for defeating the Bryttles with something called the
Freedom Chip -- which gives people who have it put in their brain --
powers. The Chip also allows the HexFire Club to control that person.
Some LNH'rs discover the HexFire Club's plan and decide to form a
Resistance group to stop the HexFire Club. And a number of these
resistance groups form and go about stopping Hex and the HexFire Club in
various different ways. Hex, however, has something up his sleeve. A
part of the Cosmic Plot Device. And both he and Occultism Kid search
for the last part, which Occultism Kid finds first within the body of
Obscure Trivia Lad. Occultism Kid has WikiBoy make himself into a copy
of that final part and through various trickery they give Hex that part.
Hex thinking he has the full Cosmic Plot Device decides to make his
final play for power -- and using various world leaders who are under
his control, he stages a big Treaty signing to make Freedom Chips
available to every single person in the world. The LNH and Legion of
Net.Villains crash the party though. The LNH figures how to disable the
Freedom Chips freeing all of the people controlled by them and stop Hex
by editing WikiBoy back into himself thus depowering the Cosmic Plot Device.
"After defeating Hex and the HexFire Club, the LNH now run by the real
Ultimate Ninja sends five space ships with half the LNH back into time
to get the Ring of Retconn and Insanity Gauntlet that Bart currently
has. Bart, who now calls himself King Qwert-El, is on Ancient Qwerty in
1994 BC. Another secret team led by Contraption Man goes back to 1994
AD to put a chip into 1994 AD Bart's head (the plan doesn't work
though). Contraption Man's team gets the chip into Bart's head and gets
back to the present -- gets a ship -- and goes into space and time to
meet the other five ships. The LNH in the other five ships battle Bart
who has made himself nearly omnipotent and no longer needs either the
Insanity Gauntlet or Ring of Retconn. Bart kills off all of these
LNH'rs and then kills the members of Contraption Man's team. But little
did Bart know, that there was a stowaway on Contraption Man's ship.
That stowaway -- a supervillain cat and former member of the HexFire
Club called Mr. Tiddles. Mr. Tiddles exploits a weakness in Bart and
uses his mind powers to control Bart and has Bart bring back all of the
LNH'rs back to life. And having defeated Bart and gotten the Cosmic
Items they were after, the LNH makes there way back to the Loonivearth
so they can finally stop the Bryttle Brothers.
"However, when the LNH gets back they find that the Legion of
Net.Villains (now calling themselves the Legion of Net.Freedom Lovers)
has released a virus, which has caused every single person including the
LNH members that remained behind to become slaves to their own ids. The
LNH finds a cure -- and cures everyone, but while they do that Mynabird
has gathered an army of 3 million or so villains to finally crush the
LNH (so Mynabird can get revenge on Easily-Discovered Man Lite). And
while the LNH fights these millions of villains, Occultism Kid and 57.5
trenchcoaters start a spell using the Book of Deus ex Machinas, the
Insanity Gauntlet, Cosmic Plot Device, and Ring of Retconn that will
hopefully stop the Bryttle Brothers once and for all. Unfortunately,
when Occultism Kid put on the Insanity Gauntlet -- he was sucked into
it. And that's where we are -- right now.
"So, do you get it? Do you understand -- Beige Midnight?"
"I -- uh..." Can't-Understand-Beige-Midnight Man started to say
something -- but before he could ask his question his brain exploded.
"Gets them every time," said Kid Recap winking at the reader.
"Okay," said Kid Recap turning the video off. "That gets us to Beige
Midnight #9. Guess, it's time for me to recap issue #10. Let's see
here. Occultism Kid got sucked into the Insanity Gauntlet where he met
what looked like Bart and then he got out and Bart turned out to be the
Book of Deus ex Machinas. And using the Book of Deus ex Machinas and
the rest of his cosmic items he helped save the LNH and Net.ropolis from
Mynabird's massive supervillain army (which he Elsewhirled away), but at
the cost of using so much power from the cosmic devices that he didn't
have enough to take care of the Bryttles. The Book of Deus ex Machinas
showed him another possible way to stop the Bryttles by showing him a
kid that had potential powers that could stop the Bryttles if Occultism
Kid was willing to put a Freedome Chip in the brain of the kid and
trigger those powers, which would ultimately kill the kid if he used them.
"Not wanting to sacrifice the kid to save the Looniverse, Occultism Kid
came up with another solution. The solution would require Occultism Kid
to use up all of the powers of the Insanity Gauntlet, Cosmic Plot
Device, and Ring of Retconn. The Book of Deus ex Machinas didn't like
the idea so Occultism Kid had to destroy it. And then Occultism Kid
used all of the powers he had to make his idea happen.
"And after everything changed, Occultism Kid became quite mad. And
whatever he did caused every sentient being that wasn't the LNH or the
Bryttle Brothers to disappear from the Looniverse.
"And that's where we are.
"Oh, and I should probably recap some about Ripping Dancer. Let's see.
Ripping Dancer was a spy working for Manga Man who gave her potions
that gave her powers and her beauty which she used to seduce Fearless
Leader. She was eventually exposed by the Hexfire Club (who Manga Man
was a part of). Fearless Leader saved her from committing suicide and
then she started working for the LNH Resistance and then did some
undercover work as a member of Legion of Net.Villains so she could help
free Bicycle Repair Boy from one of Hex's secret prisons. During this
time she found out that the potions that gave her her powers were also
giving her cancer. She finished her mission with the LNV and then went
on the time traveling mission to put a Freedom Chip in Bart's head.
After Bart was defeated, she slipped into a coma do to the cancer
ravaging her body.
"She would have probably died, but the Book of Deus ex Machinas gave
Occultism Kid a choice of either bringing the Gothic Gorilla to life or
curing Ripping Dancers cancer and Occultism Kid chose to cure Ripping
"Okay, that's it," said Kid Recap. "I refuse to explain anything more.
If that didn't help you understand Beige Midnight -- then tough! I
have my limits, people!"
Kid Recap sighed. "Man, I'll be glad when this thing is over with."
Writer's Notes: Aaaagggghuhuhuhguhgughugh!!!!
Oh and for more info:
Probably won't help.
Arthur "Aaaaggghhuhuhuhuhu!!!!" Spitzer
More information about the racc