G!: Biomechanoid Angel GENESIS #0:

Edward Protera protera at ohnosecond.com
Thu May 17 19:47:27 PDT 2012

On Fri, 18 May 2012 00:16:39 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:

>  > 	The tumbling lunar fragments.  A small subroutine had been idly plotting
>  > their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension.  But 
> there
>  > was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
>  > margin of error.
> Perhaps "planetary" might be a better word than "lunar" to describe the 
> fragments.  I had to reread the story twice to find out what moon was 
> around when the planet was blown up.  (I don't think moons get to be 
> planets too.)

Actually, there is a moon. It's mentioned on the cover and in the first
paragraph... and the planet didn't get blown up so much as it did scorched
and blackened.
> But that's all I've got for critique.  Your wording, your drama, and 
> your plotline seem impeccable so far.  Off to a good start.
> And Andrew should probably find more people to help him write.  8{D>

I totally agree, he's a great collaborator! So many awesome ideas <3

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