RACCCafe: I Love the 90s (was LNH/META: The 'Anyone who has ever read alt.comics.lnh or RACC post here!' Thread...)
Adrian J. McClure
mrfantastic7 at gmail.com
Fri May 4 10:53:27 PDT 2012
On Apr 28, 7:32 pm, Arthur Spitzer <arspit... at earthlink.net> wrote:
> So, post something. One post is all I'm asking (although you can do way
> more than that if you want -- and feel free to stop in the RACCCafe for
> a drink). Pretend it's the 90s (or the 00s if you prefer). I promise
> you won't be freebasing old issues of the R-Men with just one post (then
> again maybe you will).
> Come on, post something! We miss you!!
> (And please ignore all those people behind me shouting, 'It's a trap!' :)
"IT'S A TRAP!" shouting Bad Timing Boy. "And for God's sake whatever
you do, don't order the froppucinos!" His warnings were met with
resounding silence. As usual, people were avoiding the RACCCafe in
"Oh well," said Brain Boy, seated in front of the piano. "At least my
writer poked his head above ground for a bit. Maybe he'll actually
write something with me this year."
"I wouldn't bet on it," said Rebel Yell, stoically drinking his
Newcastle. "My writer promised that a bunch of times, but he never
got around to it. Don't worry. You get used to it. It's kind of
peaceful not being in a story. At least you're writer's not screwing
up your life any more."
"True! But I'd like some closure. I mean, was he ever going to explain
what was going on in those issues of The Team where I helped blow up
"I had no idea what was going on in any of those things," said Rebel
"I don't think anyone did," said BTB. "That was a weird, weird time
for RACC. And they're probably not even in continuity anymore."
"Still, I know what you mean about the closure," said Rebel Yell. He
sipped his drink again and looked off into the distance. "See, our
writers are amateurs, and that's a good thing because it means they
don't have editors breathing down their necks telling them to put in
Convoluted Origin Man to get more sales. But they've got so many other
things going on in their lives, and they get more and more until one
day they put down the story and don't come back. It happens to
everyone. I used to get mad at him for that, but now I've seen it
happen so many times... I'm just glad I got the stories I did."
"Hey, you never know," said BTB. "Scav was poking around the writer's
group last I heard. He's working with Arthur on something or other.
And these days you never know who's going to come back. I mean,
Lurking Girl of all people just showed up in LNH20... Oh crap, I'm
sorry. I forgot. I mean, I didn't forget, but... I mean..."
Rebel Yell flinched for a moment. "No, it's all right. Yes, I still
miss Luri. And everyone else from the early days, too. At least
Sig.Lad's still here in the cafe. Most of them never even got here
because their Writers were long, long gone before it started."
"You know, sometimes I wish I'd been around then," said Brain Boy.
"Back when it was all getting started, when people like Continuity
Champ and Particle Man were still around. It just got too big and
confusing when I came in. I mean, Old Comics Man and Sister State the
Obvious, and you, Brad, you guys were great. You did everything you
could to help me. But I never stopped feeling like a clueless newbie."
"Here's the thing, though," said Rebel Yell. "You came along only five
years after I did, and the LNH is, what, twenty years old now? And now
we've got all these LNH20 people. It doesn't seem like so much now."
"You're right," said Brain Boy. "It's weird. I remember when I first
joined the LNH, Tom Russell was the newbie everyone loved to hate and
Jamie Rosen wasn't even a blip on most peoples' screens. Then by the
time Adrian McClure and Andrew Perron came on board, they were the
writers everyone else was looking up to. Now Adrian and Andrew are
part of the old guard and they're trying to recruit new people."
"It really makes you think," said BTB. "This is a weird time for RACC
too, but I guess they all are. I know I can't wait to see what's
coming next." He turned to Brain Boy. "We could use some music. Hey,
Carter, play it again. Play 'As Time Goes By.'"
"Sure." He ran his fingers down the keyboard. "You must remember this,
a post is just a post, a RACCie is just a RACCie..."
"No!" said an enraged man who burst out of his drunken stupor. "Not
more filk!" A crackling halo of fire burst around his head.
"Wait, who's this guy?" said BTB.
"That's Tom Russell's old nemesis, The Irate Poster Whom Doesn't Pay
Attention When The Author Asks For Responses But Instead, I Recall
Previous Scandals Once Thought Laid To Rest Whom Blames You For The
Recent Deterioration Of RACCCafe And Its Posts." He sighed. "And here
I was thinking I could get through a whole story without a gratuitous
fight scene. Oh well..." Brain Boy started to glow green. Rebel Yell
drew his saber.
One gratuitous fight scene later...
"Heh," said Rebel Yell. "I forgot how fun those could be."
"Speak for yourself," said the charred corpse of Bad Timing Boy.
"Oh, don't worry, you'll come back in no time," said Brain Boy. He
picked up the Irate Poster's half-finished beer and raised the glass.
"To the good old days."
Rebel Yell met his glass with a clink. "And the good new days."
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