LNH20: A Drop of Blood

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu Mar 15 09:11:08 PDT 2012

Oooooh, awesome!  So... what do you call this?

On Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:51:43 +0000 (UTC), Adrian J. McClure wrote:

> Doc Nostalgia looked out at him from across the conference table.
> "Motion denied! Not only did she take a life--"
> "In self-defense," said Kid Enthusiastic. "By that standard you'd have
> to throw out everyone who used to work for Pla.net.ary investiations,
> except me."
> "He's right," said Fearless Leader, a note of regret in his voice. He
> idly touched the dial on the side of his ray gun. He'd never had to
> set it on "kill" for as long as the LNH had been around, but the
> setting was still there if he needed it.

I really like the idea that the world is getting less grim-and-gritty as we
move away from The Killfile.

> "I don't mean a vampire. She's something even worse than that--a Mary
> Sue!"

GASP!  Them's fighting words!

> Kid Enthusiastic leaned forward and glared at Fearless Leader. "No she
> isn't. She's an anime-inspired character. People have weird eyes in
> anime all the time, and 'Emily Aria Kyjoi' is a perfectly normal name
> compared to 'Allelujah Haptism.' And--and yeah, 'Kyjoi' isn't really
> Japanese, but anime always gives foreign characters names like
> 'Quillsh Wammy.'

It's a good point!

> And it doesn’t matter if she--how we're connected,
> because this setting's only been around for a few months--"
> "Wait, what did you just say?" said Fearless Leader.
> "Never mind! I have no idea!'

This is my new official policy for how Kid E-20's fourth-wall-breaking
works. XD

> The point is--" He jabbed a finger at Doc
> Nostalgia, who flinched. "You're the biggest Gary Stu of them all!
> You're the last survivor of your species, you're considered one of the
> greatest heroes in the world, you used to be practically omnipotent,
> you have that weird blue-black hair and you'll never be thrown off the
> team and you'll always have a leadership position no matter how much
> of a big mean jerk you are!"


> "You wouldn't know. You can't feel anything." Fearless Leader gasped,
> and Kid Enthusiastic immediately regretted it. "Oh crap, Felix, I'm
> sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Hmmmmm.  This is the only bit that really feels out of character to me; I
don't think he's the kind of person who would lash out with insults, even
when in the funkiest funk. (Which reminds me, I really do need to write Kid
Enthusiastic Unlimited, to show how he *is* in the funkiest funk.) (And the
"Doc N is a Gary Stu" thing doesn't count as insulting, just defensive of
Emme. Is different.)

> "I guess so." He walked out of the room, and January Frost followed
> him. "I'm sorry, Kid Enthusiastic. I regret that she couldn't join the
> LNH, but there are other ways I can help her, and other people who can
> come to her aid if necessary."
> "Yeah, I know. I just wish she could have found somewhere to belong."
> "I myself longed to find the same thing for much of my life. It took
> me quite some time, but perhaps I did. "

Mmmmmmm. *nods*

> So he was going to spend the rest of the
> day wrestling with some ornery cyborg arms. Still, at least he could
> be alone--
> "Hi Kid!" said Professor Penumbra. Kid Enthusiastic almost jumped out
> of his shoes.

Heh heh heh heh.

> "You OK? You look like you're feeling a little Claremonty."


> "Eh, I dunno." Kid Enthusiastic did his best to smile, the way he
> almost always did, but he'd never been very good at faking it. "I'm
> all right."

Now *this* rings very true.

> "It's a girl, isn't it?" He smiled gently. Kid Enthusiastic winced.
> "Oh. It's Emme."

As does this. <3

> "Close enough. There was this guy... He was an old friend of mine from
> the net before my adventuring days, and one day after I hadn't talked
> to him in years he calls me out of the blue and tells me he's a
> vampire and he needs my help to cure him. I helped him deal with a
> couple of his enemies and spent some time looking for a cure. It
> turned out we made a pretty good team, and we got pretty close." He
> smiled ruefully. "But then one day he let himself get to hungry, broke
> into my house after a fight and drank all the blood from my cat. We
> had a fight, and I never saw him again."


> "This wasn't the right environment for her. And you weren't the right
> guy. It happens sometimes. The thing is, when I was younger I felt
> lonely a lot of the time because I didn't have anywhere to belong or
> anyone to belong to. I wanted someone to love me and help take my pain
> away. But now I know that when you love someone, whether it's
> friendship or romance or somewhere in between, you've still got your
> own pain and you've got theirs too. It's like a wise man once said: no
> two people are not on fire. If you really love someone and try to bear
> their pain, sometimes that actually makes you stronger and sometimes
> it doesn't. And that's not your fault or theirs or anyone else's,
> that's just life."

A strong thematic statement!

> "But I don't know who else there would be for her. Or me. I mean, we
> can't get any older. Then again, I guess that means we can't, uh, go
> anywhere either. You know, I, uh..." He started blushing. "Generally I
> feel pretty good about the fact that I'll never have anything to do
> with, uh, that whole sex thing. It makes my life a lot simpler."

I had a vague idea that he'd actually gotten aged up at one point and tried
it (similar to how the Thing keeps getting turned human), but thinking
about it, I prefer this way.

> As if
> on cue, Pantra walked by, muttering under her breath. Probably it was
> because of a certain young ninja. Or because Fearless Leader had told
> her again that she couldn't eat Cranium. Or... well, there were any
> number of reasons Pantra could be angry, but Ultimate Mercenary was
> certainly one of them.


> "But, well, I'm curious about everything, so
> sometimes I feel a little sad I'll never know what that's like,
> outside of those really creepy fanfics."
> "Kid, you're kind of putting me in the Weird Zone right now."


> "And I'm never going to have kids either, not even in an alternate
> future story. Sometimes I feel a little sad about that too. But don't
> tell anyone."

Technically, he already has a kid!  Tori!

> "I won't. And listen. You've got a family, and it's us. It's a total
> cliche, I know, but it's still true.


> Note: I asked Lalo whether Professor Penumbra, like Weirdness Magnet
> before him, was bisexual and he said he wasn't sure. As a result, I
> wound up leaving his relationship with the guy who could very well be
> Sparkly-Disturbed-Sexy-Vampire Man ambiguous. It makes sense if
> Professor Penumbra is bisexual because part of his concept is that
> he's a liminal figure, who crosses boundaries and defies easy
> categorization. His origin mentions that he his mixed-race background
> and sense of not fitting in drew him into the geek world and BBSes,
> and "he was involved in every single one." He's both scientist and
> mage. It's also expressed in his name. But by the same token it makes
> sense that he'd sometimes wind up in relationships that are confusing
> and hard to categorize, so I think this works.

I just want to say, you're *really* good at using pre-established
characters.  Dag, yo.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, also, sent this along to Yuki, who
liked it quite a bit!

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