LNH20: The Great Catastrophe #2
mason.james.jamesmason at gmail.com
Mon Jan 9 12:30:14 PST 2012
The Great Catastrophe #2
"-rned... Ummmmm." said David as he suddenly appeared in... a
mysterious glowing red hallway!!
"Vivian? Are you there? Please say you are the spirit of the coat
again, I'm lonely. Crap, I probably have to go through another
metaphysical dungeon where I face my inner demons or something." So
David starts walking... only to immediately stop. I hope it's because
he's about to kick the ass of an eldritch horror!
Suddenly the scene shifts to one in an alleyway with a cat guy (Who,
one must note, does not look like a butler. He is a calico.) laying on
the ground and a kid with a bike noticing him.
"Hey kid!" The cat guy says. "Would you like to have cat powers?"
And the kid is like "Oh, boy! Would I!?"
"Good, because it would have gone to you anyway."
"Ahhhh, good times," David said. "So it's a trip down memory lane, huh?
I can deal with that."
"NO, YOU DON'T GET IT!" said a teenaged David.
"That, however, will get on my nerves," said an exasperated David.
"I'M BETTER THAN YOU AND ALL YOUR MINIONS! I'VE KILLED ALL THREE OF
YOUR MAIN GUYS! Also a bunch of mooks, but who really cares about
those?" the teenage David proved with all the intelligence and finesse
of the best and most subtle debators of all time, Superboy-Prime.
"If you desire this to be true, you might want to give your throat a
rest and take a breath," said the suave and sophisticated villian.
(Well, I guess it's a villian, but for all we know of teenage David it
could be a hero.)
"YOU BETTER SHUT UP BEFORE I MAKE YOU SO DEAD THAT YOU WILL BE KILLED
IN ANOTHER LIFE!"
"Well, technically speaking, we all will die eventually. The exception
being immortals, of course."
"YEAH? WELL.... ERRR.... DIE!"
And then the scene is over and we can all be thankful for that.
"Too bad it ended there. It was about to show the part were I used that
awesome weapon I got from one of his main guys. Do I have that on me?
Nope. Dang, why didn't I bring any of my stuff? Hell, the last time I
did, that scene happened!" current-age David lamented.
"YoU aReN't GoInG tO gEt AnY ThInG oUt Of Me If ThAt'S wHaT yOu ArE
tHiNkInG!" sAiD a-- *whack whack* said a... Thing that's attempting to
look like a human woman.
"Oh hello, say you are not some sort of unimaginable horror that's
trying to do something horrible to me are you?"
"No, Of CoUrSe NoT."
"Okay, good, because that would be annoying." Uhhh, David, you do know
that thing is doing a horrible attempt at being human. I mean, look at
"her" - the breasts are too big, stomach too small, and hips too wide!
Not to mention she's contorting her back in such a bizarre way! I don't
know how anyone could mistake that for a human. Also she's floating.
"By ThE wAy, I kNoW tHe WaY oUt. It'S oVeR tHeRe."
"Oh, wow, you are the most helpful person I've ever met in something
like this! Usually I have to go through a test or something. By the way
what's your name?"
"JuSt Go In!"
"Thanks miss Justgoin! Bye!" Suddenly I realize why he doesn't suspect
Suddenly, in a building, a swirly hole opens up and out comes David.
"Aaaaah-- OOF! I've had worse."
"May I help you?" said the secretary of the LNHQ.
Writer's note: Well *that* took too long. I really should write these
out faster. And try not to get distracted by video games.
Editor's note: I have nothing to say here!
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