MISC: One Day at a Time: The Chronicles of Mike Kittyman #23: How Do Names Work?

[James Mason]

Mike: Jumbo shrimp.

Alex: WAFFLE NIGHT GALL!

The Arch Mage: Of those ten people, the bold high error of the bees my 
  god.

THE BALL: hebedobedo. *EXPLOSION!*

Mike: YAY! *EXPLOSION!*

Alex: Oh no! *EXPLOSION*

The Arch Mage: ...*EXPLOSION!*

Announcer: GAH! ...What was up with that dream? Maybe I shouldn't 
  continue doing the stupid cat thing... Wait... this script is 
  different! Oh no.

                    Chronicles Of Mike Kittyman #23:
                           How Do Names Work?
(no, really, I don't know how to think up of good names for stuff! help!)

Announcer: So, anyway, where were we?

Body of the blue armor girl without the armor: *gets dumped on the 
  floor*

Announcer: Ah, right, murder. ...wait, that doesn't seem right.

Victor Montague: So this is the perp!

Mike: Yep. Shot lighting and everything.

Victor Montague: Usually they shoot bullets.

The Arch Mage: Those aren't magic.

Sir Greg: Bullets could be magic.

The Arch Mage: I meant the ones he was talking about.

Victor Montague: Well those could have been magic bullets, god knows 
  I've seen weirder stuff before, like for example--

A Noise: *BOOM*

The Arch Mage: Is that bomberguy loose?

That guy who tried to rob that bank once, what was his name again?: HA! 
  I told you guys that I could summon a goblin with a club!

Goblin with a club: ...

Mike: Hang on, I'll handle this.

Announcer: So he walks up to the thing and instantly defeats it. I 
  don't even think he did more than walk past it really. I guess a 
  weakness to wind is a terrible thing to have. Yeah, I know that no 
  one knows what it's weaknesses are, but it seems logical.

TGWTTRTBOWWHNA: How--

Mike: No, No! That is bad.

TGWTTRTBOWWHNA: Awww...

The Arch Mage: Ya know, if we can't keep that guy in this prison, how 
  are we going to keep this crazy woman in?

Robertson: That's why I've called the army. Though that was a few days 
  ago...

Sir Greg: How long were you standing there?

Robertson: The whole time. Have you been ignoring me?

Sir Greg: No, no, not at all! It's just... on a presence scale of one 
  to five, you're a one.

Robertson: Great, that's great for me to know.

Announcer: Suddenly, an army. I swear, if they get into an anti-
  military message, I'm out of here.

Army mooks who are coming from the roof (which doesn't have skylights, 
  by the way): HUPHUPHUPHUPHUPHUPHUP!

Army mooks who are coming from the windows: HUPHUPHUPHUPHUPHUPHUP!

Door: *knock knock*

Sir Greg: I've got it! *opens it*

Door going into Sir Greg's armor: *whack!*

Army mooks who came through that rude door: HUPHUPHUPHUPHUP!

Presumably the guy who is leading these army guys: *is lowered down 
  dramatically on a wire, at least until it gets stuck* Oh come on! 
  This is the fifth time this week! Fuck it, I'm just going to-- 
  *click* AHHH-- *and then he meets the floor!*

Awkward silence: *AWKWARD SILENCE!*

Mike: Hey, are yo--

Possible Army Leader Guy: HAHA! I'VE SURVIVED!

Mike: Kay.

Robertson: *while facepalming* ...moving along, the reason you guys 
  came here, there's one right next to the cat guy and another one is 
  the one in the blue sweater over there. A third is in the cells back 
  there, I'll show you the way.

Possible Army Leader Guy: *while looking at Mike* Oh, there's a 
  convention in town, huh? Take off that costume, son, you are 
  embarrassing yourself! *he says as he pulls on Mike's skin*

Robertson: That's not a costume, at least as far as we can tell. And 
  that probably counts as assault.

Possible Army Leader Guy: Oh. Okay, then.

Mike: That's alright, I probably would have done the same. I'm Mike.

Possible Army Leader Guy: I'm Charles T. Carver, currently a Sargeant. 
  Hopefully I'll get promoted in a good way! *walks off*

Sir Greg: Is he always like that?

Random Army Guy: Oh, that's just his way of saying "I'm sorry." ...we 
  think.

Sir Greg: *rushes up to Mike (and when I say "rushes" I mean "blink and 
  you'll miss it")* Did he hurt you? ARE YOU SCARED? I WILL RIP HIM TO 
  PIECES IF HE--

Mike: Ummmmm... *points to the other army guys*

Sir Greg: Yeah, what about them?

Mike: ...Nevermind.

Announcer: So, a few awkward minutes later. Seriously, what was that?

Charles T. Carver: HAHA! WE'VE SECURED HIM!

Robertson: He was still knocked out. What did you do to him?

Sir Greg: Shove his own explosive in his mouth.

Announcer: ...Sigh...

Robertson: Why am I surprised?

Announcer: Because that was an unexpected response. Also, because if 
  you look at her right now, she doesn't look like she uses explosives 
  as her main weapon, so you didn't expect her to use someone else's 
  explosive. Sorry, sometimes I go off on weird tangents.

Charles T. Carver: Well he seems alive enough, though I'm not sure if 
  he'll come out of his coma.

Bomberguy64: Muh... me gunna blow you up...

Charles T. Carver: Huh. Well... what about her?

Mike: Just got her. Also wasn't there another guy?

Sir Greg: Hey yeah Steven! Or Naven or what ever his name was.

Mike: Was that guy really crazy?

Sir Greg: He seemed to have some sort of personalty disorder. I don't 
  really know about them but he might have one. Also, I should help you 
  out with him because of his powers.

Charles T. Carver: I can handle it. I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING!

Edmund Crumpleston: Hey guys how are things? *completely falls apart* 
  It's only been five seconds. A new record.

Miranda: Has anyone seen the tape? *trips on Edmund and falls apart 
  when she hits the ground* Dang.

The Arch Mage: That's why.

Charles T. Carver: Yeah, that would be inconvenient.

The Arch Mage: *whispering* Seriously, he's like this all the time?

Random Army Guy: 'fraid so.

Announcer: Well, apparently that's done. Now, if you need me, don't. 
  I'm going home to sleep on a comfortable thing. Well, more 
  comfortable than this desk...

----
Oh man only 10 more levels until I can make Dragon Armor! What about a 
series I was writing? Oh right Great Catastrophy! *Does Great 
Catastrophy* Oh man 5 more levels until I get to use the adept 
destruction magic! What about the other cat super hero? I already wrote 
Great Catastrophy this month, Mike Kitty-OH oh I should work on that 
shouldn't I? I'll get right on it.