LNH20: LNH20 Comics Presents #12

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Fri Feb 10 15:52:01 PST 2012

On Thu, 9 Feb 2012 19:41:25 +0000 (UTC), Adrian J. McClure wrote:

> Lawrence Herrera, age 45, single, recently laid off from his job as
> department store manager, was the first to notice it.

Yay, normalperson viewpoint!

> Lawrence got out of his car and ran for his life. Soon other people
> started to notice as well. Panic spread like wildfire throughout
> Netropolis as its citizens realized it was floating in midair.

...ooooooooooh.  Yes, yes, perfect consequence to the way this Netropolis
is set up.

> Somewhere beyond time and space as we know it, there lies the
> Preceptory, the gathering place of the Elder Gods, larger than the
> universe itself. No mortal has ever set foot here, though Professor
> Penumbra has seen it in his dreams.

That is never not an awesome way to start a description.

> The King in Plaid shifts uneasily
> on his throne as the great Betathoth finally ends its million-year-
> long filibuster. Rwtn-t'bol taps their tentacles impatiently on the
> table. The Archon of the Thirteenth Hour grimaced as she touched a
> chewed-up wad of stories from a long-dead race of shapeshifters that
> another Elder God had stuck thoughtlessly to the bottom of the desk.

Don'cha hate Mutiversal Bureaucracy?

> (Of course there were no tables or chairs or desks here, but rather
> things that could only be metaphorically referred to as such, or
> perhaps things for which our tables and chairs and desks are only
> metaphors).

They are feeling Platonic boredom right now.

> They were discussing how to handle the matter of an object that had
> been stolen from the Preceptory countless aeons ago, which had brought
> endless terror and grief to the mortal worlds it passed through.

Specifically, from the Cornucopia Empyrean, seat of nourishment, AKA the
Preceptory's cafeteria.

> They glanced often at the seats once held by those the
> Ultimate Ninja had slain [in the Classic LNH's Beige Midnight #9--
> ed.]

A nice tie-in!

> "I believe I know the answer," said January Frost. "Agent-M recently
> uncovered information that WHATEVER was trying to clone Cranium, but
> stopped after five attempts. There were rumors that the fifth Cranium
> had gone rogue and was now attempting to undermine their organization.
> Given that we encountered this Cranium as he was in the process of
> infiltrating and disrupting with a WHATEVER operation, I believe this
> is the same person. Perhaps we could call him 'Cranium 5' if it would
> make you more comfortable."

Hah!  Yes, very good.

> I always knew Sigrid was going to join
> someday as soon as we found out about her, but the rest... It's
> reached the point where I can't remember who all the members are
> without looking at the wiki anymore.

BWAH *edit edit edit* *add pages*

> And now that we're famous all of
> a sudden it's only going to get worse. We've put so much effort into
> building this thing, and now I'm worried it's getting out of our
> hands."

Man.  Shades of the original, definitely.

> "As well it should. Our goal was to give prospective net.heroes a
> place to grow into their role and to give them an example to live up
> to. We always knew that someday it would grow beyond us. I remember
> when you were my student, after a fashion. Now we are more or less
> equals. So too it will be with them, given time."


> "I hope so," said Fearless Leader. "But it's never easy to get used
> to."
> "You're absolutely right," said January Frost. "I remember when you
> couldn't feel overwhelmed, or much of anything. That's clearly not the
> case now. It's not an unpleasant change."

Awwwww. ^-^

> Choke!" said Doc Nostalgia.

Incidentally, I love this as a catchphrase for him.

> "That's, uh, nice," said Nerf Girl. The team had wandered into the
> museum, which had been twisted into something resembling one of M.C.
> Escher's weird dream.

Hmmmm.  Bit of a continuity error here: #8 ends with the LNH running into
the Incredibly Dangerous Ancient Mystic Artifacts Room...

> "I noticed--augh! I'm wearing clothes!" Nudist Man, now wearing a
> conservative business suit, blushed a furious crimson. He ducked
> behind a pillar and tried to take them off, but to no avail.

I love him *blushing*!

> "Wait! I can fly again now? How is that possible? Of course--the
> Muppets are such a potent source of nostalgia that it's brought me
> back to my previous power level!"

Of course!

> "Of
> course! This can only be the work of--

YAAAAAAAAAAAY *happy Kermit flail*

> For more detail on the Elder Gods' debate, consult the Congressional
> Record of Realities, if you are one of the few who can do so without
> instantly going mad.

It'll drive you INSANE with boredom!

> The Preceptory and the previously-unmentioned Elder were created by me
> and are general use. Mr. Morrison was created by Andrew Perron.

And is also General Use.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, doot dee doo

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