LNH20: LNH20 Comics Presents #11
martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Thu Feb 9 01:30:25 PST 2012
LNH20 Comics Presents #11:
"The Assassination Squad"
Chapter 11 of a chaotic add-on cascade
by Martin Phipps
The Recovery Man returned to the office that housed Ultravac, the
villainous supercomputer that controlled the terrorist group WHATEVER
- the World Headquarters for Anarchy, Terrorism, Evil, Vengeance,
Extermination and Retribution. Once again it was Ultravac's assistant/
tickertape reader/annuniator who spoke for the computer.
"Ah. I see you have returned. Do you have the spoon?"
"Yes, I do."
"Then give it to me!"
"I can't. Not just yet."
"I promised a dragon I would use it to kill Googlemesh and bring his
skull to him."
"And how am I bound by this promise you made to a dragon? Why don't
I just have my people take the spoon from you by force?"
"I can't know for sure what would happen if you tried. What if the
spoon, on its own, were to act in defense of its possessor? Do you
want to take the chance of losing some of your men in the attempt?"
"So why are you here?"
"I need you to give me some operatives who can help me take down and
"But if you have become so powerful because you have the spoon then
why don't you take on Googlemesh yourself?"
"Right now the Legion doesn't know I have the spoon. After I kill
Googlemesh they will be after me. Giving me a team to help me fight
them is the best way to ensure that you will get the spoon back."
"Alright. I will contact some people. Be back in an hour."
"An hour? In that case, are there any good restaurants around here
where I can have lunch?"
"I wouldn't know. I don't eat."
"I was talking to your assistant."
"Oh. In that case I grant her permission to speak and direct you to
a suitable place."
Doc Nostalgia, January Frost and Fearless Leader were interviewing
the latest Legion recruit: a mouse.
To be fair, this was not just any mouse but the super-intelligent
mouse who called himself the Cranium.
"How do we know," Frost asked, "that you won't betray us at some
point in an attempt to take over the world?"
"That is pure speciesism!" the Cranium complained. "I am not
human! Therefore I want to take over the world!"
"We have reason to be suspicious," Doc Nostalgia said. "The
Lycopersicons said they were coming and peace and then attacked us as
a prelude to a full invasion. Luckily we were able to fight them off
and scare them away."
"I may not be human but I see no reason why mice and men can't live
together in harmony."
"Enough!" Fearless Leader said. "WHATEVER is the immediate threat.
If you are here to help us then get on with it!"
The Cranium nodded. "All I know is what the floating eye and the
sparkly vampire told me. You know WHATEVER is looking for the Spoon
of Destiny and you know of many spoons of power but you don't know
which one is the true spoon of destiny."
"That's true," January Frost said.
"So maybe they all are."
"Come again?" Doc Nostalgia asked.
"An object of such immense power need not obey the usual laws of
physics whereby an object cannot be in two different places at the
"Of course!" Fearless Leader said.
"This is a bit too complicated for me," Doc Nostalgia complained.
"It is quite simple," the Cranium said. "Suppose you have a spoon
in a box. Is the spoon of destiny? Before you open the box you don't
know. You can open the box and find that the spoon inside is the
spoon of destiny or you can open the box and find that the spoon
inside is not the spoon of destiny. Before you open the box then, is
it the spoon of destiny or not?"
"It is..." Fearless Leader said.
"and it isn't," Frost said.
"Wait," Doc Nostalgia said. "What?"
"So now suppose you have two boxes both with spoons inside. Which
one is the spoon of destiny?"
"They both are!" Fearless Leader said.
"And neither are!" Frost said.
"Okay," Doc Nostalgia said, "now I am completely lost."
"A spoon can both be the spoon of destiny and not be the spoon of
destiny," Fearless Leader explained. "That's why there is more than
"And at the same time," Frost said, "only one."
"So do they take turns being the spoon of destiny?" Doc Nostalgia
"That is one interpretation," the Cranium said, "although it does
not accurately describe what may actually be happening."
"What it means is that anyone who wants to possess the spoon of
destiny needs to have all the spoons," Fearless Leader said. "That's
the only way of knowing if you have the spoon at all."
"So how many spoons are we talking about?"
Fearless Leader, January Frost and the Cranium all shrugged their
"So is this a good thing or a bad thing?" Doc Nostalgia asked.
"A bad thing," January Frost said. "If the individual spoons are
objects of power then imagine what someone could do with all of them!"
The Recovery Man, having finished his spaghetti and garlic bread at
an Italian restaurant just around the corner from the building which
housed Ultravac, returned to find four costumed villains waiting for
"What do we have here?" the Recovery Man asked.
Ultravac had his assistant do the roll call. "MSN: he is strong and
powerful, maybe powerful enough to take on Googlemesh by himself;
Sonic: her sonic scream will render opponents defenseless; The Yahoo:
his specialty is poisonous gas and, plus, he has the ability to hide
weapons in his costume, including machine guns and katanas; Random-
Thug-in-a-Red-Shirt: he has no special abilities but you can use him
if you need to sacrifice somebody on the team in order to complete the
"Wait..." Random-Thug-in-a-Red-Shirt said, "what did you just say?"
"The Yahoo," the Recovery Man said. "I've heard of you. You've
been known to kill your own people. How can we trust you?"
"Ha ha ha ha ha!" the Yahoo laughed. "If it means killing
Googlemesh, the legendary leader of the ancient legion, then you can
trust me to do whatever WHATEVER asks. Ha ha ha ha ha!"
"I'm getting full medical coverage if I get hurt, right?" Random-
"Absolutely," Ultravac had his assistant tell him, "and a there's
also a generous life insurance policy payable to your next of kin
should the need a rise."
"Oh," Random-Thug-in-a-Red-Shirt said, "that's okay then."
"It's settled then!" the Recovery Man said. "Tonight this
Assassination Squad is going to go after Googlemesh!"
That evening, Walter "Wikipedia" Brown, Juliana "Amazon
Lass" Almeida, Edward "E-Boy" Boyd and George "Google Lad" Patel were
showing Googlemesh around town.
"So what do you think of Netropolis?" Juliana asked.
"Verily," Googlemesh said, "it is much different from what I
"Yeah," Edward said, "but it can't be that different. I mean, you
were here in 1962 and that was only fifty years ago."
"A lot has changed in fifty years," Walter pointed out.
"Yeah, but surely the major landmarks are the same, right?" Edward
"Now that you mention it," Juliana said, "Netropolis does look
different every time I look at it."
"Well, sure," Edward said, "but only because it is a major American
city. You can't expect to look at it twice and expect it to be
exactly the same!"
"Wait," Googlemesh said. "Did you say _American_?"
"Strange," Googlemesh said. "I have been away for so long. I
remembered Netropolis was in Europe! In Norway! No, wait... that's
not right either... it was in Greece... on top of a mountain... or was
it? This is obviously not Norway or Greece... and even if Netropolis
was in Europe before it couldn't have been in both Norway and Greece
anyway. I must be remembering things wrong!"
"Hmm," Walter said, "could it be..."
"It is odd," Googlemesh said, "I also vaguely remember LNH HQ in
Just then there was a terrible screaming sound that brought all five
of them to their knees. Then an open canister of nerve gas was
dropped onto the ground in front of them. George immediately
recognized the gas from its distinctive smell.
"It's the Yahoo!" he said. "He's back! And he's trying to kill us
Despite the intense scream filling his ears, George was certain he
could hear the Yahoo laughing.
Is this it? Are two thirds of Generation 2.0 going to die along with
Googlemesh? Or are some other Net.Heroes going to show up just in
time to save them? Or will Edward pull a Deux-Ex-Machima device out
of his pocket? (Who knows: he might even have a spoon in there!)
Oh and is the Cranium right about all the spoons being one spoon that
just happens to be able to be in several places at the same time? And
does it really matter if each individual spoon is a source of power in
and of itself?
Are we all confused yet or did I not do my job adequately enough?
We shall see!
The Spoon of Destiny created by Tom Russell.
The Recovery Man created by Saxon Brenton
Generation 2.0: Walter "Wikipedia" Brown, Juliana "Amazon
Lass" Almeida, Edward "E-Boy" Boyd and George "Google Lad" Patel, The
Assassination Squad: Michael Steven "MSN" Nelson, Yiling "Sonic" Yang,
John "The Yahoo" Smith and Random-Thug-in-a-Red-Shirt, Googlemesh and
the Cranium created by Martin Phipps
Fearless Leader created by Adrian J. McClure and Dave Van Domelen
January Frost created by Adrian J. McClure and Tom Russell
Doctor Nostalgia, the Lycopersicons, WHATEVER, Ultravac and Ultravac's
ticker-tape reader created by Adrian J. McClure
More information about the racc