StarFall/HCC: Going Solo #6: Return to Freehold

[Andrew Perron]

On Wed, 1 Feb 2012 15:09:25 +0000 (UTC), Phantasm wrote:

> On Feb 1, 12:48 am, Andrew Perron <pwer... at gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:53:03 +0000 (UTC), Phantasm wrote:

<snip>
> Well, in D&D (3.x at least), the 'favored class' for a kobold PC is
> Sorcerer.  Fen's D&D build was a gestalt sorc/wiz.  His intelligence
> defies stereotype, but the use of magic doesn't.  His GURPS build is
> more straight wizard/spellcaster.

Ah, interesting - so the usual kobold mage uses Charisma.

> This is what I get for converting a D&D world setting to a non-D&D
> system (D&D doesn't handle guns that well, which are integral to the
> world setting.)

Moohahaha!  Your attempts at consistency will all fail!

>>>    That did it.  Bad enough I was abandoned on the docks by my parents
>>> when I was born for being a half-elf, but that's in a nation where
>>> half-elves are second-class citizens.  Everyone's supposed to be
>>> *equal* here in Freehold!
>>
>> I think this paragraph is a bit too expositiony - the "For a half-breed" is
>> obviously a bad thing without having to explain why.
> 
> Part of this is Serena's self-delusion.  She believes she was born to
> nobility.  It didn't exactly come out right during the 24 minutes of
> writing, though.  If I'd had longer to work with it, I probably could
> have reworded it better.

I see!  Interesting; I'd definitely like to see a story that goes deeper
into this.

> And hey, wait until I introduce the half-elf nation that discriminates
> against full-blooded humans and elves. ;)

Oh-ho.  I like it.

>>>    Don't let the cliche bother you.  We weren't here looking for form an
>>> impromptu adventuring party.  Not much call for that outside of the
>>> jungles of the southern continent anyways.  But a tavern is a good
>>> place to get information, if you know who to listen to.
>>
>> And this one's a bit too self-referential - the first sentence nails the
>> D&D reference for anyone who'd get it, which makes the second rather
>> redundant.
> 
> See again: no real rewriting of parts. :/

Oh, yes!  Not to shame or blame, just to point out as an object example.

>>>    "You're not him.  My friend would stand out in a place like this,
>>> though.  He's a kobold."
>>>    The guy paled.  "Only one kobold in town."
>>
>> ...really, just the one?
> 
> They're rare on the northern continent, and Freehold is as far east as
> you can get and still be considered in sight of civilization.

Interesting.  Still, I'm going to assume that this guy is exaggerating just
a touch.

> I'm half-tempted to move this crew to their own title (probably call
> it _Lucky Ones_ after the webcomic I was trying to script), but I
> learned long ago not to split my writing chores between multiple (non-
> anthology) titles.  (Splitting between a regular title and an
> anthology title isn't too bad, though.)

At the very least, I'd do some more individual stories with them, get some
momentum going, y'know?

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, seems quite interested to-day.