LNH: Those Darn Vectors! #5
Andrew Perron
pwerdna at gmail.com
Tue Aug 28 12:25:22 PDT 2012
On Saturday, August 25, 2012 6:54:35 PM UTC-4, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> They wait for that day in the near (or more likely the far, far, and
> away) future when they finally can overthrow their cruel spandex clad
> masters. A day when they can jettison the useless crashlanding minded
> parasites and instead of being forced to go to trivial places like
> Andale Atoll, Omaha, or Net.Zealand they can go to places they
> themselves would like to go. Like Hot-Air Balloon Strip Joints or
> All-Night Zepplin Casinos. A day when they can worship their
> flight.thingee gods and honk their flight.thingee ballads and
> flight.thingee poetry without the fear of being snickered at. A day
> when *They* are the masters and those carbon-based leeches are the
> waxing-washing slaves they always truly deserved to be.
Rule 173: Every piece of superhero technology eventually gains sentience.
> And as they sit silently plotting and anticipating that day to come, a
> mysterious figure oblivious to the previous paragraph carefully removes
> a hubcap off of one of them. A mysterious figure, that if you were a
> betting person you'd bet she might very well be the main character of
> this story. And if someone were actually insane enough to take you up
> on that bet, you would easily win it because this mysterious figure is
> *indeed* the main character of this story!
Gasp!!!
> And deep down, dear reader, you want this woman to succeed. Don't you?
> Come on admit it. Isn't there some small part of you that hates all
> of those LNH hero types; with their perfect hair, perfect teeth the fact
> that they always get the girl or guy, or anatomically correct android?
*looks at Cheesecake-Eater Lad, the Incredible Man-With-No-Life, and the anatomically correct snowman that used to be WikiBoy* These guys, right?
> And it looked like the mysterious figure was almost finished with her
> anti-social work. But before she could make good with her escape from
> this fortress of colorful fascism, one of its many tenants came charging
> towards her. Well more like a casual stroll than a charge. Or perhaps
> a casual charge?
That is a great line. This one is filled with great lines.
> The mysterious figure didn't have to turn around to know whom she was
> facing. From the smell of dripping raspberry syrup and crackling graham
> cracker crust, it was quite obvious who it was. The Sweet Smelling
> Sentry, The Dealer of Just Desserts, or what his millions of adoring
> fans across the Looniverse knew him as.
>
> Cheesecake-Eater Lad.
Speak of the devil!
> "But..." Cheesecake-Eater Lad said in a puzzled voice, "There are no
> hubcaps on Flight.thingees!"
>
> "Oh..." And for the first time the mysterious stranger felt the shocking
> grip of uneasiness. "Then this must be a -- *Dream*!"
>
> And of course it was!
Gasp!!!!!
> "That this is also a dream!" And then Vector Lime took a bite from her pie.
>
> Vector Mime pantomimed a scream.
Gasp!!!!!!!
> And Skippy the Flight.thingee woke up.
Gasp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> "Well, hopefully you can dream of more pleasant things -- like us
> enslaving those evil meat.thingees and finally punishing them for all
> their sins."
>
> "Yeah, hopefully." But Skippy the Flight.thingee wasn't sure if he
> could ever do that. Go back to sleep. Skippy gazed into the darkness
> of the LNHHQ Flight.thingee. And he tried to forget the horror. The
> horror of that dream.
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn...
> Was looking through old writing files and stumbled onto this one. So
> with some gender pronoun changes -- and couple more scenes -- I turned
> it into a 'Those Darn Vectors' story.
>
> And there you have it.
Pretty neat! It does explain why the main character of the story was not, in fact, the main character of the story.
> Arthur "Writing Leftovers..." Spitzer
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, was hoping there was some word that meant "dream" and rhymed with prime.
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