LNH: Those Darn Vectors! #5

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Tue Aug 28 12:25:22 PDT 2012

On Saturday, August 25, 2012 6:54:35 PM UTC-4, Arthur Spitzer wrote:

> They wait for that day in the near (or more likely the far, far, and 
> away) future when they finally can overthrow their cruel spandex clad 
> masters.  A day when they can jettison the useless crashlanding minded 
> parasites and instead of being forced to go to trivial places like 
> Andale Atoll, Omaha, or Net.Zealand they can go to places they 
> themselves would like to go.  Like Hot-Air Balloon Strip Joints or 
> All-Night Zepplin Casinos.  A day when they can worship their 
> flight.thingee gods and honk their flight.thingee ballads and 
> flight.thingee poetry without the fear of being snickered at.  A day 
> when *They* are the masters and those carbon-based leeches are the 
> waxing-washing slaves they always truly deserved to be.

Rule 173: Every piece of superhero technology eventually gains sentience.

> And as they sit silently plotting and anticipating that day to come, a 
> mysterious figure oblivious to the previous paragraph carefully removes 
> a hubcap off of one of them.  A mysterious figure, that if you were a 
> betting person you'd bet she might very well be the main character of 
> this story.  And if someone were actually insane enough to take you up 
> on that bet, you would easily win it because this mysterious figure is 
> *indeed* the main character of this story!


> And deep down, dear reader, you want this woman to succeed.  Don't you? 
>   Come on admit it.  Isn't there some small part of you that hates all 
> of those LNH hero types; with their perfect hair, perfect teeth the fact 
> that they always get the girl or guy, or anatomically correct android? 

*looks at Cheesecake-Eater Lad, the Incredible Man-With-No-Life, and the anatomically correct snowman that used to be WikiBoy* These guys, right?

> And it looked like the mysterious figure was almost finished with her 
> anti-social work.  But before she could make good with her escape from 
> this fortress of colorful fascism, one of its many tenants came charging 
> towards her.  Well more like a casual stroll than a charge.  Or perhaps 
> a casual charge?

That is a great line. This one is filled with great lines.

> The mysterious figure didn't have to turn around to know whom she was 
> facing.  From the smell of dripping raspberry syrup and crackling graham 
> cracker crust, it was quite obvious who it was.  The Sweet Smelling 
> Sentry, The Dealer of Just Desserts, or what his millions of adoring 
> fans across the Looniverse knew him as.
> Cheesecake-Eater Lad.

Speak of the devil!

> "But..." Cheesecake-Eater Lad said in a puzzled voice, "There are no 
> hubcaps on Flight.thingees!"
> "Oh..." And for the first time the mysterious stranger felt the shocking 
> grip of uneasiness.  "Then this must be a -- *Dream*!"
> And of course it was!


> "That this is also a dream!"  And then Vector Lime took a bite from her pie.
> Vector Mime pantomimed a scream.


> And Skippy the Flight.thingee woke up.


> "Well, hopefully you can dream of more pleasant things -- like us 
> enslaving those evil meat.thingees and finally punishing them for all 
> their sins."
> "Yeah, hopefully."  But Skippy the Flight.thingee wasn't sure if he 
> could ever do that.  Go back to sleep.  Skippy gazed into the darkness 
> of the LNHHQ Flight.thingee.  And he tried to forget the horror.  The 
> horror of that dream.

Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn...

> Was looking through old writing files and stumbled onto this one.  So 
> with some gender pronoun changes -- and couple more scenes -- I turned 
> it into a 'Those Darn Vectors' story.
> And there you have it.

Pretty neat! It does explain why the main character of the story was not, in fact, the main character of the story.

> Arthur "Writing Leftovers..." Spitzer

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, was hoping there was some word that meant "dream" and rhymed with prime.

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