MISC: One Day at a Time: The Chronicles of Mike Kittyman #24:
mason.james.jamesmason at gmail.com
Mon Apr 30 22:05:51 PDT 2012
Muh? Guh? what? What's going on? How long was I napping for?
Oh, that long? That's not so bad. You should've seen me in the 80s.
Probably why I missed out on the nostalgia. Anyway, where were we? Ah,
Chronicles Of Mike Kittyman #24:
I'm Not Even Going To Try For A Name Right Now
Announcer: Alright, I'm back. Physically. Mentally, I'm still asleep.
Anyway, a door... and? Is thi--
The Door: *Is ignored by the teleporting people who are teleporting in.*
Announcer: Oh, yeah, that happens in this show, doesn't it?
Mike: What a day; got kidnapped, found the secret of heavy metal, and I
met a military guy.
The Arch Mage: And yet it's only noon!
Mike: Whatever. *flops on couch* I'm beat.
Alex: I wonder if we got on the news?
Mike: Let's check. *Reaches for the TV remote, but knocks it off of the
coffee table. Did I mention they had a coffee table? Or that they had
a TV?* Dang. Oh wait I can just use my spear. *Summons the spear and
is about to give the TV a lobotomy.*
Alex: Ya know, I think I'll turn it on! I don't mind.
Mike: All right, if you're okay with it.
Announcer: I'd like it if they turned on the TV but it wasn't the news.
Alex: *turns on the TV*
TV: 24 hours of the All Scottish Show!
Announcer: Oh, hey, look at that! I'd like it if... I can't concentrate
hard enough to make a wish, keep going.
Alex: *changes it to Channel News*
Anchorwoman: Which is why your father had to die, Little Billy. In
other news not specifically targeted to people I hate, apparently
animal people are superheroes now. And here I thought my tax dollars
were paying to keep them employed in the sports mascot and cartoon
character industries! Apparently they attacked malls with wizards
against knights. I don't know who to be rooting for, but apparently
the police were involved, so I guess these are bad guys? I guess. I
Offscreen Whispering: *happens*
Anchorwoman: Oh, they were with the police? Okay, fine, they're good
guys, I guess. I don't care.
Announcer: Did they get a girl version of me or something? I'm still
tired. Probably can't remember what happened.
Alex: Geez, Kittyman, this bitch seems to hate-- Kittyman?
Mike: *As asleep as I want to be right now.*
Alex: *Climbs into the sofa and hugs him. I think he can officially get
a restraining order.* He doesn't need to know.
Announcer: Well, I guess we'll look into Mike's dream now. Probably to
foreshadow stuff or to do that stupid "Everything is awesome" shit
again. Alright, so he seems to be standing over the corpse of the
crab-bot-tank thing. Yeah, remember that? Anyway, he's standing over it
and looking kind of sad and then he turns to see a silhouette, and it
seems to be... taller than him, I guess. Then it throws a... beaker at
him. Don't forget to throw a bunsen burner at him or he can't do any
science! So anyway, this jolts him back to life. I mean, awake... ness.
Mike: Gah! Just had a nightmare. *notices Alex* Oh, hey, how are you
Alex: I'm actually kind of cold.
Mike: Really? I don't feel too-- well, now that you mention it, I do
The Arch Mage: I guess you redefine cold sweat. What kind of a dream
did you have?
Mike: Uhh... nonsensical nightmare.
The Arch Mage: Oh, okay then.
Announcer: Nonsensical? What about that was non- Wait. Is he trying to
hide something? *whispering* Oh he is? Ok then. *whispering* Well if
you wanted it to be subtle you should have told me in the first place.
Are we done here? *yeah we are* Oh. Good.
Apparently I was so deep in sleep during the 80s that I was not allowed
to wake up. Had to be reincarnated and do you know how annoying that
is? Oh, sure, it's fine for the first few years, then puberty hits and
all hell breaks lose.
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