LNH: Those Darn Vectors! #1

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Sun Apr 22 12:48:24 PDT 2012

Mookie Moono wiped the glass with a dirty bar rag as he gazed at the 
comic book incased in a sheet of clear plastic.  It was a Classics Squad 
Comics #57 and the cover showed the Classic Squad battling with Net.zi 
batwinged kangaroos.  And it was signed by Golden Man.  He had met 
Golden Man and the Classic Squad when he was just a boy back in 50s [See 
Beige Countdown #0 -- Pointless Continuity Porn].  It seemed like a 
million years ago.  He touched the plastic casing that held the comic. 
Wonder how much he could get for it on ebay?

He looked away.  Someone was opening the door!  He turned his head and 
looked as the door to Moono's Liquor World began to creak open.  And he 
saw a girl.  It was a girl with punkish green hair and she wore a black 
T-shirt that had a picture of a big lime in the center of it.  She wore 
green jeans and green boots.  And she walked into the bar like she owned 
the world.

"Can I do something for you?" said Mookie placing the glass back onto 
the bar.

"Yes," she said without any hesitation.  "I'm looking for a job!"

"Sorry, sweet cheeks.  Bad economy and all that."

"But -- you haven't seen what I can do!"

"Yeah?  And what can you do?"

"Just watch!"  And the girl with the green hair hopped over the bar and 
began to grab various liquor bottles, some ice, some margarita salt, a 
knife, and some limes.  And then she began to juggle the hell out of 
those bottle, that ice, that margarita salt, that knife, and those 
limes.  And she did things to those limes with a knife that Mookie had 
never seen before.  Amazing things.

And when she was finished she poured the concoction from the blender 
glass into a salt-rimmed margarita glass.  "How's that?"

"That's all well and good," said Mookie.  "But anyone and their grandma 
can do that Tom Cruise 'Cocktail' #$*&%#!  The taste -- that's what 
matters!"  And Mookie grabbed the margarita and chugged it down.

"Whoahh," said Mookie with shock in his face.  "That is the best damn 
margarita I've ever had.  How'd you do it?"

"First -- do I get the job?"

"Yeah.  Yeah sure thing, kid!  And hey if you're like under 21 or have 
some citizenship problems I've got people who can fix that stuff.  BTW, 
what's you name?"

"Lime," she said with a smile.  "Vector Lime."

    -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=-

               'A Taste of -- VECTOR LIME!'

                     by Arthur Spitzer

    -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=- -=V=-

Tomorrow:  Because I wrote four of these stupid things...


Vector concept: Rob Rogers
The rest of the characters -- Mine

Arthur "Vector Rhyme" Spitzer

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