Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Sat Apr 21 14:05:56 PDT 2012

        Legion of Net.Heroes Comics Presents...




       'Seeing if I can post man's Day' or
     'Why won't this stupid story post?!!!!!!'

The LNHQ --
April 73, 2012 --
11:54 PM --

"Arrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!" cried Seeing if I can post man as he made another 
futile attempt at posting this story to Rec.arts.comics.creative.

"Did you post it?" asked Building Suspense Lad.

"Would I be screaming in frustration if I had actually posted it?" 
glared Seeing if I can post man.

"You must post the story," said All-Knowing Last-Chance Whiner Destiny 
Woman mysteriously.  "For if you do not post this story before midnight 
-- then the very fabric of the Omnilooniversal Time Continuum shall 
break a part into never ending chaos and madness!!!"

"I'm trying!" said Seeing if I can post man as he gave it another shot. 
  "It just won't work!  It won't post!!  I don't know what I'm doing 
wrong -- I usually get them to post by the thousandth try.  But I'm 
already up to 1225 attempts -- and nothing.  I can't do it.  I can't 
post this story!!  Why did you have to choose me to be leader -- 
Pulls-Paper-out-of-Hats Lad?  Why me?  Why not my greatest arch-enemy 
Always-Gets-His-Stories-Posted-On-The-First-Attempt Man?  He could have 
easily gotten this story posted -- The Bastard!  I can't do it.  I can't 
post this story!!  I just can't."

"You know -- maybe we should have someone else post this story. 
Maybe..." said Fuzzy.

"No," said All-Knowing Last-Chance Whiner Destiny Woman shaking her 
head.  "It must be him.  It must be -- Seeing if I can post man!  He is 
the only one who can post this story.  And if he can't -- then we are 
all doomed!"

"Well," said Fuzzy trying to think of something.  "How about posting it 
on another computer?"

"No," said Seeing if I can post man shaking his head.  "This is my lucky 
computer!  Every other computer my posting attempts are usually even 
worse!  It has to be this computer!"

Fuzzy took the toothpick out of her mouth and snapped it in half as she 
resisted the urge to hit Seeing if I can post man.  "Okay.  Is your 
system working right?  How about your newsreader?  Is the internet on? 
How about...?"

"Oh!" said Seeing if I can post man snapping his fingers.  "The 
Internet!  Forgot about that!"  And then he moved his mouse over and 
clicked the Internet on.  "That should help!"

"Seriously," said Fuzzy with disbelief.  "You didn't have the internet 
on?  You didn't have the internet *On*?!!!"  She dug her fingers into 
her forehead and thought to herself, I will not snap.  I will not snap. 
  Newbies.  Newbies!!!

"Two minutes till midnight," said Robo-Stomper glancing at his watch.

"Okay, I just need to... Oh no," said Seeing if I can post man as he 
made another attempt.  "It's not working.  It's not working!!"

"What's not working?" asked Building Suspense Lad as he looked at the 
clock that was slowly ticking away to midnight.

"The Mouse!" cried Seeing if I can post man.  "I can't get it to work! 
It won't move!!"

"BSL!" shouted Fuzzy as she looked in Building Suspense Lad's direction.

"On it!" said Building Suspense Lad has he rushed out of the room and 
into the hallway.  And then he looked around him and then at his watch. 
  He was running out of time!  And he didn't even know where the LNH 
kept all its working mice!  Where could he possibly -- no wait, he 
thought as he saw someone else in the hallway.  It was WikiBoy.  WikiBoy 
licking an ice cream cone.  "WikiBoy!  You're a mouse!!"

And WikiBoy turned into a furry little brown mouse.  The ice cream cone 
that he had been licking fell on top of him.

"No!  No!" cried Building Suspense Lad.  "A computer mouse!  You're a 
computer mouse!!"

Building Suspense Lad grabbed the mouse -- still sticky with melted ice 
cream and rushed back into the room.

"Half a minute till midnight!" said Robo-Stomper.

Building Suspense Lad rushed over to the computer and took the other 
mouse out and then tried to put the WikiBoy mouse into the computer.  "I 
can't -- seem to get it in!  Won't fit!!"

"Oh for the love of..." said Fuzzy rushing over and pushing Building 
Suspense Lad away and making her own attempt to plug the mouse into the 
computer.  "I've got it!  Post the story!"

Seeing if I can post man touched the mouse and then pulled his hand 
away.  "Eww!  What's the weird sticky stuff on the mouse?!!"

"Five seconds -- Four seconds..." counted down Robo-Stomper.

"Doesn't matter!  Post it!  Post it!!  Post the damn thing!!" shouted Fuzzy.

"Two seconds.  One second..."

And Seeing if I can post man grabbed the mouse and made a click.  And 
then he disappeared as Midnight struck.

"Did he do it?" said Fuzzy looking at the computer and clicked over to 
RACC to see if it had gotten through.  "I don't understand.  It's still 
not posted, but everything seems fine."

"It won't get posted today.  We will have to wait till April 21st, 2012 
to see this story.  And now that my work is done here -- I must go. 
Fare thee well!"  And then All-Knowing Last-Chance Whiner Destiny Woman 
vanished away.  Mysteriously.

"Some day I'm going to punch her," said Fuzzy as she tried to wipe away 
the sticky melted ice cream on her hand.



Last-Chance Whiner Destiny Woman - wReam
Fuzzy -- Connie Hirsch
WikiBoy -- Tom Russell
See if I can post man, Buidling Suspense Lad, and Robo-Stomper -- Arthur 

Writer's Notes:

Ah, I hope Adrian wasn't planning on writing this issue.  :)

For the rest of the ILC stories check here...

Arthur "Will this post?" Spitzer

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