MISC: One Day at a Time: The Chronicles of Mike Kittyman #20

[James Mason]

                               Chapter 20:
                            In His Own World

Announcer: Guuuuuh, of all the-- WHATEVER, let's just get this over 
with. So we start with Mike jumping around rooftops *why*!? I don't 
know, *or* care, probably something to do with the last chapter, who 
cares, we're doing this chapter so-- SHUT *UP* MAN! I'VE BEEN HAVING A 
BAD DAY! EVERYONE IS GIVING M--

Mike: .oO(I'm almost at the place. So how am I supposed to get the 
metal?)

The Arch Mage: (By taking it.)Oo.

Mike: .oO(That's kind of stealing.)

The Arch Mage: (I don't think people are going to notice a few pieces 
of scrap metal disappearing.)Oo.

Mike: .oO(We are cops, John! And as cops, we should be practicing the 
law as well as upholding it. Otherwise, we would give mixed signals, 
and that would just annoy people!)

Random Guy: HEEEEY!

Mike: Huh? *And he jumps down to his death, I mean to the guy.* Yes? Is 
something happening?

Random Guy: Just this. *snaps his fingers*

Mike: Tha-- *Mike gets dragged down to somewhere, I'm just going to 
assume his death.* aaaaaAAAAAAAA! *pop*

Announcer: He's dead, can I go home now? Of course not.

Mike: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-- Ouf! That was stupid. 
But at least I'm not dead, so no one can make any "curiosity killed the 
cat" jokes.

Announcer: What, does he know he's in a story? GOD, it's things like 
these that piss me off even more.

Mike: Okay, surveying surroundings time. Darkness, dark mirror, dark 
door, dark wall, dark table, dark chair... single light coming from the 
ceiling lamp that hardly illuminates the room. Gee, I wonder what kind 
of room I'm in and why I'm here.

That Random Guy From Earlier: I can answer your questions, if you 
answer mine.

Mike: Really? You had to use such a predictable line? You could have 
said anything else - *anything* in the *world* - and it would have 
sounded better. Let's just get this over with.

TRGFE [That's what I'm calling him, now deal with it]: Now I--

Mike: Seriously, that was lame!

TRGFE: You done?

Mike: *Grumpyface*

TRGFE: Anyway, you are going to tell me why you are a cat person.

Mike: *Still Grumpyfaced*

TRGFE: Okay, fine you leave me with no choice. Can you put your arms on 
the armrests?

Mike: *Still Grumpyfaced and keeps his arms crossed.*

TRGFE: Please?

Mike: *Grumpyfaced, but puts his arms on his armrests.*

Announcer: And he pushes a button that I swear wasn't there before, and 
arm and leg cuffs do what you'd guess they'd do.

TRGFE: Here's how it will work. You tell me what I want to know and I 
don't hit you.

Mike: Hitting me won't make me tell the truth. In fact, there's no real 
proof that physical torture works.

TRGFE: *Okay, even Jack Bauer would be embarrassed for even thinking of 
using a pathetic slap like that.* Well you'll be screaming for me to 
stop soon enough.

Mike: I'm sorry, is there a hole in the wall? Because I could have 
sworn I felt a breeze.

TRGFE: *OH COME ON! THAT ONE WAS MORE PATHETIC THAN THE LAST!* Oh, I 
can see that you're ready to crack!

Mike: Crack up laughing, maybe. Why do you want to know how I became a 
superpowered magical cat person? ...well, now that I say it, I could 
understand why someone would become curious.

TRGFE: Oh, you are going to *scream* when I do-- *this*!

Announcer: PFFFFFFFF HAHAHAHAHA! Oh Man *Oh MAN*! Now he's slapping him 
silly with weak pathetic little slaps and Mike is-- is just-- HAHAHA! 
He has this face! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MAN! That made my day right 
there. Might as well end it right there it's not going to get any 
better. I-it actualy ends right there? Oh, one more line? ...okay then.

Mike: *Monotone* Ahhhhhhhhhhh. No stop, you fiend.

Announcer: Welp, that got me out of my funk. Mostly. Kind of. ...not 
really.

----

Hey guys, sorry for being so late in this but I couldn't really think of
anything for half the month. And... that's kind of it. Yeah.