SW10/HCC: Iv: The Real Story!

Scott Eiler seiler at eilertech.com
Fri Oct 28 23:47:01 PDT 2011

Author's Note:  In response to a RACC Challenge titled "Rosencrantz and 
Guildenstern", to bring in common characters to tell their own story.


(from sw10://www.OccupyEarth.com/)

I'm Rose Goldstein, investigative reporter.  I have a story to tell.  I 
call it "Iv:  The Real Story!"

So the Planet Iv supposedly crashed into Earth in 2009. 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/trillions.htm#iv )  Why didn't we 
all die immediately?

There are so many other questions we could ask about that.  So I asked 
the experts.


  *Question*:  We all saw Iv in the sky.  But we never saw it hit.  Some 
kind of stasis field supposedly made us sleep through it, and kept the 
Earth solid and buffered.  But if we were all sleeping, how do we know 
the impact actually happened?

  *Answer*, from Dr. Brent A. Ziegler, of the International Institute of 
Human Stasis:  We *do* have stasis field technology now, similar to that 
of The Trillions.  We *did* turn it on in widespread manner at the time 
of Iv's closest approach to Earth.  Other people had intended to film 
that approach.  But the fields suppressed practically all electronics. 
Even traditional cameras were affected by warping effects upon light 
rays.  In short, we have no record of the supposed impact.


  *Question*:  The Trillions supposedly *gave* us this stasis field.  We 
just *fought* them. 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/discontent5.txt )  Is this how we 
react to the aliens who *saved* us?  Or was there nothing to save us from?

  *Answer*, from Don J. Kozak, of World Foreign Policy Magazine:  There 
have certainly been numerous quick shifts in alliance during human 
history.  The start of the Cold War is one example.  But even that took 
five years to become a bona-fide conflict.  Barring political upheaval 
or dysfunction within one party of an alliance, an alliance shift within 
*two* years is practically unheard of.  I'm forced to conclude that any 
alliance Earth had with The Trillions was false.


  *Question*:  Planet Iv supposedly changed the Earth's orbit.  Someone 
supposedly talked to the Earth's tectonic plates so they held solid as 
we bounced into the new orbit.  Uh, really? 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2009/journal.htm#northamerica )

  *Answer*, from Deborah G. Dowdell, engineer on the 2000-Mile Rail Gun 
Project:  I can't say I support the theory that the North American 
tectonic plate can send and receive e-mail.  That's the World Journal 
Monthly's explanation, not ours.  All we can really say is that our 
project got a very brief message from an unknown source, during an 
earthquake which impacted our communications network.  Follow-up 
messages all got responses, but we were unable to trace them precisely. 
  For all we know, some supervillain has an underground communications 
network which taps into ours.  So the idea that North America itself 
talked to the other continents and got them to suspend all tectonic 
activity, is at best unproven.


  *Question*:  How many of us have been off Earth since?  How can we see 
*where* the Earth is?

  *Answer*, from Amanda R. Selig, resident of Luna City now relocated to 
Fort Devens, Massachusetts 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2007/occupation.htm#earthfall ):  Some 
of those rednecks from Mars say Earth has moved. 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2010/rednecks.htm )  But I've *been* 
to their Mars colony.  I got to say, they'd be pretty easy to bribe to 
tell whatever story you want.  We definitely need to get that 
interplanetary perspective back to tell for sure.  Too bad the Moon's 
not there any more; Iv *did* slam into it.  But Earth?  How could Iv hit 
Earth *and* the Moon?  It would have had to bounce like a billiard ball!


  *Question*:  The sun looks dimmer most of the time.  But the mad 
scientist Ellipsis has already admitted he can manipulate the amount of 
sunlight hitting the Earth. 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2010/neworbit.htm#moltensky ) How do 
we know he's not doing it now?

  *Answer*, from Larry M. Glover, professional optic engineer:  We do 
know there's technology to warp optic rays on large scale.  To affect 
solar light, it would have to be deployed in space.  Earth's space fleet 
currently lacks a deep-space deployment ability.  But Ellipsis and his 
superhuman allies can go into space even with large masses.  So I have 
to conclude, it's possible he *is* manipulating the amount of solar 
energy hitting the Earth.


  *Question*:  Astronomers *say* they can see the orbital change in 
everything they look at.  But if Ellipsis can manipulate the light from 
the sun, he could manipulate the light from *everything*!

  *Answer*, from Alan L. Bridges, former staff astronomer at Harper 
College, Palatine, Illinois:  We *do* appear to see the planets in 
different positions now.  Those positions *are* consistent with a theory 
that *most* of them haven't changed their orbits but Earth has.  Mercury 
and Earth's former Moon have also.  Jupiter is in its former orbit, but 
nuclear fusion is now taking place there.  All its moons are shifted and 
it's difficult to tell exactly how, with the different optical 
conditions there.  Earth itself also has different optical conditions, 
due to certain energy manipulations in orbit.  In short, we can *assume* 
what we see is the new baseline state of the Solar System, but it's hard 
to confirm.


So.  My conclusion, alongside six independent experts?  Hoax!

I speak for the Occupy Earth Movement.  We have one demand:  Stop 
pretending there are external causes for our economic crash.  End the 
injustice upon Earth!


Author's Notes:

My favorite viewpoint character Wyatt Ferguson was as recently as 2003 
resident in the Marvel Universe.  Then he commented how most people 
consider Galactus to be a specially-equipped weather balloon which Reed 
Richards once launched from the Baxter Building. 
(http://www.eilertech.com/stories/lxmf.htm#deathtrap )  Marvel Comics 
later published a different public perception:  Merchandising hoax! 
"Galactus:  The Real Story", April 2009.

Heh.  Public perception is mutable, isn't it?  Maybe even if something's 
*moved* the world?  I have the urge to find out.  Hence, this story.

In the spirit of this challenge, I used the random name generator of 
http://www.fakenamegenerator.com/.  So the names may be public domain. 
But the *characters* are all copyright 2011 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.

(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

Turns out I'm an anally-fixated oedipal paranoid with 
south-of-the-border schizophrenic delusions...  But never mind, I've 
found me the ideal job.  I'm going to run for President!

- Major Honey, scripted by Grant Morrison, Doom Patrol #46, August 1991.

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